- Gender and Relationships
How to start a conversation with a guy
Why won't he even look at me?
Ever wonder why that guy that you've been staring at in English class ignores you when you try talking to him? Or, why whenever you try starting a conversation with the boy that you like he completely dis-regards what you are saying and ignores every word that comes out of your mouth? Well, first off, it may be a sign that he's not interested, but perhaps you are just trying to talk to him at the wrong place and time.
NOTE: This is post is directly for teens, and although some answers may apply to older people, it was not intended for them.
What are the signs?
If you are talking about a feminine topic, or something that the boy doesn't like, he's not avoiding the conversation, he's saving himself the time and torture. Other than that, there are a few common signs that the boy you are trying to get the attention of doesn't want you to talk to him, or is just plain busy. Let us get into some examples...
- Avoiding eye contact. When a boy is avoiding eye contact, it usually means he does not want to have a direct conversation, and doesn't feel like talking. With that being said, it could also just be because he is nervous to look to the one place where you have the potential to connect visually.
- One Word Answers. When a guy is with his friends, they are usually already talking about something, thus, causing all other outside noise to be a distraction. By that I mean that if you see a guy you like with a group of friends, and you try talking to him, he will most likely give you a one word answer. While he does not need to be with his friends, it is most likely that he will be. It is just important to know that if he does give you a one word answer, he is most likely not in a talking mood. NOTE: If this boy does not give you a one word answer that is GOOD. Congrats, he WANTS to talk to you.
- Walks into bathroom. If you start talking to the boy that you like and he suddenly takes a turn to the bathroom (or else-where) mid-conversation, it is a sign that he is not in the mood to talk, and you should accept that. This is not meaning that he does not like you, in fact it could mean that he is nervous and does like you, either way, leave him be (unless that is where he was originally headed).
These three examples of signs that boys don't want to talk to you are the most common while in school. They are the normal signs that a boy is not in the talking mood.
Tips for Conversation
When talking to boys, there are a few tips that I would like to share with you:
- Talk about something that he likes. Say the boy that you like really loves football. He plays football, he talks football, he watches football, he just is really into football, you should try talking football with him. If he likes it, and knows a lot about it, then let him do all the talking, even if you don't love that particular topic. In fact, while doing this it may lead to other topics, like cheer leading, then that may lead to yet another topic, like clothes, and so on. Start with a simple topic that he likes, then build off of that. Let him do the talking.
- Find something in common. Sounds cliche' doesn't it? Probably because it is cliché, and it is true. Maybe you both love acting. Then try talking about that, open up doors, and if he isn't interested in one thing that you do, keep trying. Once again, this could lead to other things, and a conversation is made.
- Ask a lot of questions. If you want to start a conversation, you aren't going to start off with something like: "Hi, my day is great". You are more likely to start a conversation by saying: "Hello, what's up?" then he HAS to answer, even if it is as short as: "Nothing, you?". BAM! A conversation is born. What you have just done is asked ONE simple question, and created a stream of many. When in doubt, ask a question. If your conversation is dying, then ask a question, but make sure its good. Good questions can save a conversation from drowning in the whirlpool of one word responses.
What you should take away from this
When a guy isn't responding to you, or is ignoring you, it doesn't mean he hates you, just that you are boring him! To change that... DON'T BE BORING! A lot easier said than done, but just try to spice everything up a little.
What was said above is for a COMMON boy, not all boys respond the same way. Some people are natural conversationalists. Me, I'm not, and hopefully after reading this, you will slowly grow as one.
© 2012 coolwillnoon