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When Will "No" Mean "No?"

Updated on June 20, 2016

I like sex. I love it. I could have sex everyday, twice a day, and still want more. I wouldn't say I'm a sex addict, but I am certainly a fan. If I go a week or more without sex from my husband, yeah, I get cranky. I get angry when he tells me "no." I'm your wife for Pete's sake, I don't care if you worked 12 hours.
You know what I don't do, though? I don't rape people. My desires have never gotten so heavy that I felt I had the right to violate someone else's body. Not even my husband's. So, how is it that someone like me, who loves sex so much, can understand "No means no." But someone like Brock Turner gets what essentially amounts to a free pass for getting his quick fix? Nobody cares about his swimming career. Nobody cares about how his crime is going to negatively affect his life. He is being defended tooth and nail by his parents, by his community, by a judge. The judge who was supposed to protect this victim. He let her down. He let down every victim that has been silenced by their rapist. Everybody was so concerned about Turner's mental state after jail. Have his parents, the judge, his supporters, thought about the mental state of the victim? It is not her fault that she was molested. She did not deserve to be assaulted because she was drunk. She did not deserve to be assaulted because of what she was wearing. She did not deserve to be assaulted at all, whatsoever.
What baffles my mind is that girls are constantly being called slaves to their emotions. Girls have no control over their feelings. However, when I want sex and I get told no, I understand that no means no. When men like Brock Turner get told no, they resort to sexual assault and rape. So honestly who are really victims to their emotions? I'm not saying that women aren't capable of sexual assault. However, only 3 out of every 100 male rapists are ever punished for their crimes. Victim shaming is huge. It's her fault because of the way she was dressed, because of how much she drank, because she was out alone. I just want to clarify, I was wearing jeans boots and a winter coat when I was assaulted. We need to change rape culture. We need to make it the rapist's fault. We need to start saying that the rapists are victims to their emotions, and that the victims are victims of a crime.


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