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When Your Lonely Heart Breaks

Updated on August 26, 2014

Give yourself the time you need to heal. Don't be rushed by others.

We find love and we endure through loss. It is the "Human Experience".

When your heart is broken life has stolen a big part of your reason for living.

I understand where you are and I hope you can find the path to heal from your heartbreak.

Whether we are talking about a broken relationship or the death of someone close to you, the loss is stronger than anything else you’ve ever felt.

And I get that.

Healing is years away, if it can even be contemplated at this time.

You’ve tried self-medication maybe. Drugs and alcohol only dull the pain for a little while. You still need to survive the life you’ve been given. The path that seems to have been chosen for you is full of hurt and pain.

I feel it too.

The pain you feel is because there is no way to go back from where you are now. There are no words you can take back and no hurts you can undo.

You have to live with the mistakes that have been made.

You have every right to the memories you hold onto. The memories are your tribute to the one that has gone away, and good or bad, they are what you share with that person.

The memories are usually not what you might share with others, that that deeply personal life and relationship that you shared. And that’s OK. People have different versions of everything that happened. It’s normal. Don't let this frustrate you.

If you understand badly what what others say about the things you shared with the one that has gone then you’re only going to find conflict and not condolence. And you’re going to put those people, your friends and family, into a tough position to be agreeable with you in the present and the future.

When your heart breaks you need to hold onto the parts of you that make you strong. You’ll need support of the people that can understand the pain you feel to be able to live your life without the one that is no longer with you.

You may need to seek these people out because not everyone feels pain and loss the same way and depending on how close you were to the one that is gone other people are farther away from that relationship you had so it’s hard for them to deal with their loss and your loss at the same time.

People can usually handle the loss felt by someone else. It’s difficult for them to understand how deeply you felt for someone especially when many of your feelings weren’t expressed to anyone else while that person that is now gone was still there.

I know what that hurt is all about. It’s difficult to get past when you feel that no one else can understand the loss you feel.

Safety is what you want, being able to fee as secure and as safe as you felt back then is the only place you want to be.

Seek out the people and the support groups that can offer you the steps to move into your life again.

Anyone that really cares for you will not ask you to forget that person, then will want you to keep the memories, the good ones and to be able to work through the bad ones too.

There is help to allow you to heal but the first step still has to be yours. The step on the path to living again is up to you and no one else.

This is your time to help yourself as no one else can, taking that first step to healing the hurt you feel.


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