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When You’re A Gay American, Little Injustices Can Sting A Lot!

Updated on July 30, 2010


A recent visit to the doctor’s office turned out to be yet another eye opening experience to me that when you’re a gay American, little injustices can sting a lot! – Don’t Get Me Started!

I had not been to the doctor in months as I’m a generally healthy person (stop the comments about my mental health, I’m talking physically for the moment) but I decided to go in and just get things checked out. The first thing they do is throw that form at you. You know the one I’m talking about, the one that is going to ask you to list the same information about five times on the same form; your name, date of birth, age (because I suppose they can’t do the math to figure out your age from your birth date) and of course all of your insurance information. After all, the insurance information is the most important part, without that they can’t keep the diseased hamster that is American healthcare on the wheel running if they don’t have the info to triple bill the insurance company so that the insurance will pay what the procedure really costs and then bill part of it back to you as “not covered” or part of your deductible so that they can get a piece of the action too. Run, healthcare hamster, run! However this entry is not about the insurance companies and how their pre-existing condition of overcharging and denying coverage may or may not be solved by the recent health care legislation.

In filling out the form I found it interesting that they allow you to sort of “opt” out when it comes to questions about your race but when it comes to whether or not you’re single or married they want that information. What makes it even more interesting for someone of my shall we say “persuasion” is that they ask you your marital status on one question and then the next question asks if you live alone, with your spouse or with roommates. While most would say that I’m blowing things out of proportion I want to be very clear that I had no problem answering the first question as “single” due to the fact that in the eyes of the law I cannot be married in my state nor is same sex marriage legal according to the current Federal laws. I am however the legal Domestic Partner of my partner in the state of Nevada and therefore on the second question, I answered that I lived with my “spouse” because according to the documents I signed and the $75 we sent in to be registered with the state, my partner is now my “spouse” according to the law. The thing is that I hesitated before I checked the “spouse” box. Why?

Why did I hesitate? Because until my government’s laws state that I have complete equal rights, I will always have this hesitation when filling out a form like this one. I have lived for forty-five years and at the end of August I will have been with the same and only man for the past twenty-two years and yet I still have to check the “single” box on all forms. I have had to go along with the untruth that American society has forced me to propagate on everything from my tax forms to my Facebook page. I’m “single” to the Federal government and on Facebook I’m “In A Relationship” but in my heart I’m as married as my parents and their parents before them. I’m not asking the church going folk who insist that two men can’t be married in the eyes of their supposed God to understand or condone my relationship. In fact, I don’t want or need them to understand it or condone it. I do however need my government to understand and condone it because just like the government doesn’t oversee first communion, they should not concern themselves with marriage, only civil unions for the sake of the civilization and tax purposes along with the other thousand or so rights and privileges that heterosexuals currently receive  with their marriage certificate.

To those of you who will tell me that I should be thankful I don’t live in a country where they jail or kill me for my “lifestyle” I can only wish you one day of feeling what I feel as a law abiding, taxpaying American who when filling out forms, not being able to serve my country or even afraid for my own safety due to the fact I am a man that has a man in my bed is told and shown by his government every day that he is a second class citizen. If you did live one day in my shoes I don’t think it would be long until you found yourself feeling as I do, like the Mayor of Who-ville from the classic Dr. Seuss book, shouting as loud as you can, “We are here! We are here!” When you’re a gay American, little injustices can sting a lot! – Don’t Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @


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    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 7 years ago

      Don't be silly!!

      Read tells me you are ten times greater in person!! Alas, September is off but December may be looming!! What ever and when ever, I look forward to meeting you face to face!!

      Blessings Earth Angel!!

      Now where did I put that diet?? I know I have a diet in here that will make me look ten pounds thinner!! Where's that diet!!?? There it is, right under the box of chocolates!!

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 7 years ago from Las Vegas

      Hilarious! You're right, I'm going to start making my own boxes! Let me know about September though I fear I'll disappoint in person!

    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 7 years ago

      Good Morning Great Scott!!

      Glad to hear you are taking good care of yourself both mentally and physically!! I am going to assume spiritually as well!! (Not religiously!! That would make anyone's soul sick!!)

      I didn't know you couldn't/didn't just check the 'married' box on those forms!! Good points above!!?? I don't see those Dr. office 'forms' as legal, only informational??

      As for me, on my medical forms, I do not check any of those boxes - I add my own!! (You probably suspected that already so stop laughing!!)

      Married, Single, Divorced, Widowed??

      XXX Alive, healthy and looking forward to keeping it that way!!

      Dr. Mr. Miss. Mrs. Ms.????

      XXX All of the above!! Plus Rev.!!


      XXX Cash Pay equivalent to Dr.'s Insurance Reimbursements less 10%!!

      Next of kin??

      XXX An English Cocker, ShuiTsu and two amazing cats!!

      In Case of Emergency??

      XXX Please contact the Wild Divine!! If you are unable to do that at the time, please contact the following list of friends . . . !!

      My friends have been instructed to take good care of my next of kin first - then me!!

      If we are being driven crazy by so many who refuse to 'think outside the box' then we need to set the example!! Make our own boxes!!

      Have a GREAT day GREAT SCOTT!!

      Blessings to you and your wonderful partner!! Earth Angel!!

      Hey, I just received an invitation to Las Vegas for my BD in September!! If I promise to leave my 'sequins sweater' at home maybe we can all get together finally!!??

    • rgarnett profile image

      Rachael Fields 7 years ago from KC, MO

      This was a great hub. I understand everything you are saying. Well done!

    • profile image

      Amber 7 years ago

      Yep. Double yep. Yepapalooza.