- Gender and Relationships
About a week or so ago at a mutual friend's home I witnessed what could possibly be the end of an eleven year friendship. On new year's eve this friend had a gathering of sorts with a little food, music, alcohol, and guest. More of a couple's gathering then anything else but I attended in support of my friend. Besides my date had to work. Everything was going very slow at first. The couples were sitting around engaging with one another while the host was here one minute and gone the next.
The year had changed and suddenly all of the remaining guest got happy to witness another year alive. Shots were flowing and unfortunately the alcohol brought out the worst in one of the single guest. She was talking to a couple and it seemed like they were having a good time laughing and drinking. Then suddenly a few other guest said that this lady was calling the guy out of the couple that she was talking with attractive. Now I saw the couple and the guy was not good looking at all. But whatever, everybody has different taste. I heard the girl compliment the couple and honestly I think she was just drunk not trying to cause any harm. I mean who really hits on someone else's boyfriend right in front of them. People do a lot of crazy things but I think the woman was gone off drunk ambition.
Anyway the girlfriend got jealous and started getting very upset which caused for the two women to argue. The last couple that was there decided to leave because voices were being raised. At this point I myself was still around trying to help get a hold of the situation but the drunk woman who appeared to be all there was cursing and it seemed like she was looking for her friend (the owner of the house) to help calm down the situation. Unfortunately the owner of the home was taking a more calm approach. Don't get me wrong the home owner was trying to assure the girlfriend that her friend wasn't trying to come onto the boyfriend. Personally I would have ended the party and told everybody they had to go since it was late anyway.
But for some reason the mutual friend didn't mediate the argument maybe because she was a little tipsy herself. After the couple left I was there with the arguing women and the boyfriend who didn't say a word. Finally after all the arguing I had left only to hear later on that a fight broke out. The single woman got into a fight with not only the jealous girlfriend but the boyfriend. The owner of the house claimed she tried to help because a guy jumping into a chick fight was not cool by any means.
Sure the single girl may have been provoking the girlfriend but I still think she was just drunk. This did not warrant a guy to put his hand on a woman. I was told that the guy gave the woman a black eye which was unacceptable in my book. The guy should have had enough self control to take his girlfriend and leave if they were not drunk. I don't know but it seemed like something was in the air before everything happened and I think that is why people didn't hang around for so long. I even checked out before the fight not wanting to be involved in any mess myself. To make this long story short the woman came to her senses the next day being told about how she called the guy attractive, touched the guy, and was fighting.
The woman sure did sober up and I learned that she never did anything like that before. Being too friendly with another woman's man. She was embarrassed, ashamed, and reflective on the whole situation. My friend told me that the next day at work she saw the girlfriend who asked was the drunk woman okay. I guess the couple was ashamed of their actions as well. The girlfriend apologized to the mutual friend because honestly nobody wanted to get into a fight on the new year. The girlfriend told the owner of the house that she was a very jealous person. Which makes me think although the drunk woman may have been out of line the girlfriend may have taken it to another level.
Then I heard that the drunk woman was upset with her friend because she felt like if she was bugging out the minute voices was raised the home owner should have put a stop to the situation. In a lot of ways I do agree especially if it came down to a fight breaking out the situation should have been dissolved in a positive manner. I wondered if I was in a similar situation how would I handle an argument.
Ways to prevent a fight from happening among the drunks
1. Immediately put a stop to the bickering. Separate the people arguing before a fight breaks out. When the people in questioned are involved get them to come with you into another room. This would generally give the people sometime to think or cool out.
2. Change the subject. Usually some people under the influence of alcohol mind's jump from one level to another. By changing the subject for instance turning on the television or giving them something else to focus on might take their mind off of making a fool out of their selves any further.
3. Know your friend's sober up methods. Sometimes you have to be forcefully strong with your friend in order to get them to do things while they are belligerent. Methods such as milk which coats the stomach or ice cream for that matter will help to sober up a person quick. If they are past the point of no return they still might puke but at least they will be aware of their actions. There is something about the coldness of ice cream that calms down the alcohol from rising which spiked your reaction in the first place.
Actually if you drink at least two large milk shakes before you start drinking and maybe a small meal you should be good to go. Capable of enjoying your buzz without getting into any trouble. At least trouble you didn't start.
Back to the seemingly ending friendship I understood the point that the drunk woman had made that a fight should have never happened at her best friend's house of over ten years. She felt like the couple should have been asked to leave and her friend should have apologized on her behalf for acting like an ass. The woman was conflicted with her friend. Although she didn't blame her for the fight she felt like it should have never escalated. There was no other person besides her to stop it which didn't help either. The woman told me that she was going to keep her distance from her good friend for a while.
After hearing both sides of the friends speaking on it I still think I would have tried my hardest to prevent a fight. But then again who knows what we would do in that situation. But then again again, sometimes we know exactly what we will do which makes me feel like I would have put an end to it before it started.