- Gender and Relationships
When it's Over, Let It Go (Adams' Mistake)
When a Relationship Ends - Let It Go!
This article is dedicated to a true friend. It’s directed at men but applies to women as well.
The biblical story of Adam and Eve suggests that Eve’s disobedience to God introduced sin to the world which ultimately led to the downfall of man and mankind. It is a story repeated over and over again in the Christian arena. It’s the first story a child learns which attempts to explain why there is so much suffering in life. It is a story which puts the burden of death, destruction, disobedience, and suffering at the feet of Eve, Adam’s wife, or as the Biblical writers describes her – Adam’s Help meet.
While the story of Adam and Eve is true, according to the biblical writers, it is an unfair and unbalanced story which excludes Adams role in this great epic drama. It is a story which fails to identify the solution which could have saved mankind. It’s a story which describes the most common mistake even men of the 21st century make. It’s a story which, if Adam had his priorities straight could have had a different ending.
According to the biblical writers God creates man from the dirt of the earth in a garden which is described as a peaceful, beautiful place comparable to heaven itself. He later creates from the ribs of Adam a woman described as Adams helpmeet. God then gives them dominion over the earth and instructs them to eat of all the fruits of the garden except the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden least they shall die. The biblical writers then shared the story of Eve being tempted by a serpent who convinces her that she would not surely die and that the consumption of this forbidden fruit would give her the knowledge and wisdom of God himself. Eve believes the story of the serpent and consumes the forbidden fruit. She then convinces Adam to eat of the fruit which Adam did - and this was the begining of Adam’s mistake! Adam’s concern was not fearing God, but losing his woman. It was a mistake men would make for generations to come. He did not understand that the God who gave him the first Eve would have given him a second, much improved Eve. But he must be willing to let the first Eve go. Adam did not understand that his faithfulness to God - and not his woman - would have saved them both, and eventually mankind from a world of pain and sufferings.
But Adam, like most men - felt a sense of entitlement, ownership, and dominion over his Eve. Adam felt that he had invested a lot in Eve and she was the only woman for him. His limited vision, and faith prevented him from following a set of instructions which could have prevented pain and suffering for genrations to come. Adam chose the flesh and subsequently lost his peace, his joy and eventually his life.
This entitlement mentality still haunts men today and the outcome is the same. Men need to understand that there is no entitlement when it comes to his Eve, his woman. Men need to understand that the days of slavery and human ownership have long passed and when his Eve decides to go a different direction he need to learn to seek guidance from God and if its God's will that she leaves - let her go. It's unquestionably very hard, difficult, scary, and painful, particularly if you’ve been with your Eve for a number of years. It’s even harder when your Eve leaves with a sense of entitlement in the form of monetary rewards - and her decision to leave brings an end to your financial and social stability, possibly causing you economic ruins. It’s challenging, painful, and very frustrating particularly when Adam believes that he has dedicated his entire life to pleasing his Eve and building a Garden of Eden around her providing comfort , security, and stability - and even more painful when Adam feels that he's been faithful to his Eve. It’s a troublesome situation but men need to understand and appreciate Eve’s decision no matter how painful it may be. Men need to voice their concerns in a respectful manner and then - let go! Do not verbally or physically abuse your Eve. Do not threaten your eve. Do not attempt in anyway to make your Eve’s life difficult by seeking revenge. No Eve or Adam is worth your sanity, your freedom, or your life!
If possible, sat down with your Eve and pray with her and wish her the best, even if her best comes at your expense. It’s a hard but necessary task and it will ease your pain and prepare you spiritually for your next Eve. Adams can climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea, and build a rocket ship to the moon. Adams can fight dragons and conquer territories. He can build a business from scratch and watch it grow to a fortune 500 company but Adam can not handle his Eve leaving or forsaking him. It strikes at the core of his ego and his sense of security, stability, and manhood. If a man attempts to hold onto his eve even when its clear that she's leaving he can easily become another Adam - following the flesh instead of the will of God. In order to move to the next level a man (Adam) must learn to let go, despite how much it hurts, angers, or upset him.
LIfe is unfair. What was once sweet can become sour. A millionaire can become poor within the next hour. A poor man can become a millionaire in the same time frame. We're all one second, one minute, one hour, one decision, or one day from the unexpected. In the case of a relationship when the unexpected happens - deal with it with maturity and understanding that the situation is only temporary. Don’t be another Adam. When it’s over, it’s over - let it go! The sooner you let go the sooner the second, more improved Eve will appear. The sooner you let go the sooner you'll find the inner peace to forgive and forget. The sooner you let go the sooner you'll realize and accept your contributions to why your Eve may have left. It is through this process that you will discover the wisdom and compassion to begin building a more peaceful, a more beautiful, and a more secure Garden of Eden.
If the biblical writings of the story of Adam and Eve is true, then Adam must bear the bulk of the responsibility for a sinful world. Break the cycle. If she chooses to disobey God - let her go! If she want to leave - let her go! No woman, or man, or human is worth your peace, your sanity, your freedom, or your life. The sooner she/he walks out the door the sooner you can begin to apply the wisdom found in the book of Philippians 4:5-7:
"Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Live, and let live - Let it go!