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When to Break Up With Him

Updated on October 21, 2012

If all good things must come to an end, surely the bad things must do at some point too, yes? And if you're reading this article about when you ought to break up with your boyfriend, you've probably reached the point of hoping it will be sooner than later. Or, perhaps you're not quite sure yet if breaking up is something you definitely want to do. Maybe you're just here looking to compare your relationship with those definitely deserving of the axe. Well, let me just relay my favorite quote before I get on with my advice on when to break up with him. I'd always thought it was from Bill Cosby but Google just told me it's from Erica Jong. Either way, it goes something like this, "Advice is something you ask for when you already know the answer, but wish you didn't." Keep that baby stored for the rest of whatever, as it nearly always indicates the path best taken.


1. You feel bad more often than you feel good.

If you feel like crap more often than you feel elated with your man, it is time to break up! It's supposed to be a love thing, not your own personal episode of Misery. Love is actually supposed to feel good, not bad. And while every loving relationship has its ups and downs, the latter are not meant to outweigh the former. If you find yourself feeling bad, worn out, run down and unhappy on an ongoing, regular basis, and if you can genuinely attribute it to your relationship, it is time to break up with him. I suppose you might be able to salvage the relationship via some sort of therapy, but most of us have learned the hard way that these sorts of endeavors tend to just be cosmetic and eventually you're still going to have to rip that band-aid off. Sure, it's going to hurt. And then it will heal rapidly once hindsight kicks in and you can see things with perfect 20/20 vision.

2. You're turning into someone else

And I don't mean Cinderella turning into the princess; I'm talking about you doing negative things that are so out of character that you don't recognize yourself at times. Need some examples? No problem. Have you noticed that you drink a lot more than you ever did before you met your man? Do you smoke more? Do you let yourself get dragged to places you don't want to be? Are you far more edgy than you were before he came along? Do you have a shorter temper these days? Do you feel like your life is one big PMS event? Well, if this wasn't you before you met him, he may be the cause of your metamorphosis. And if he is, it's time to break up. Go back to being you and everything else will fall neatly into place.

3. You're giving so much more than you're getting

Now, I'm not talking about a man who's temporarily down on his luck, or a good man in need of a little help to get back on form. No, no. I'm talking about a man who only knows how to take. Does your man suck your wallet dry and never pay you back? Does he suck your emotions straight out of your body like something out of a science fiction flick? Does he always seem to be asking you for something, whether it be a place to crash, something to eat, something to buy smokes with, something this or something that? If you've answered yes to these questions, please tell us what he gives back to you? Does he repay you with kindness? Love? Affection? Or is he just a professional leach? Only you know the answer to these questions, but if you're getting far less than you are getting, it's time to break up. You deserve more and you can find it in a better man.


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