- Gender and Relationships
Where Is This Relationship Going - 2 Life Stories
The Big Question
"Where is this relationship going?" Thousands of people, probably mostly women, have asked this question over the years. The question can end the relationship or make it stronger. It sounds foreboding and challenging. If the relationship ends because of it, is it worth asking? The answers might surprise you.
Bill Cammack, dating expert, says that a relationship means hanging out with someone and having a good time together. He states that the question about where the relationship is going seldom crosses a man's mind. Women should be able to tell what is going on from conversations, hints, and other telltale signs. When it starts to become serious, the girl will know without asking the question. When she becomes important enough for him to give up his freedom, he will tell her. Does this statement sounds a little callous? Do you think that men value their freedom too much and want to make sure they want to give it up, as if it is the greatest sacrifice in the world? He refers to girls as "chicks", and this is demeaning to a woman. Is that respectful?
Opinion Mr. S, writer Mr. S indicated that the question is a cowardly way out for a woman and that a man would not ask that question. He believes she wants an answer without revealing her own feelings. They should date long enough to know each other well and then discuss if they should date exclusively. He believes in honesty throughout the dating experience.
Opinion Mr. P. writer - Communication is better than assumption. He has already asked the question.
Opinion Ms H, writer She feels that it is best to discuss the situation to determine what the two people want from a relationship. She would ask the question.
Opinion Ms A. writer She wants to know up front after dating for a while. She does not want to give her heart to someone who plans to leave the relationship. Her heart needs to be saved for the right person. She would ask the question
Opinion Mr O, writer. He feels it is better for the relationship to discuss everything to make it work .He would ask the question.
Where is this relationship going (the discussion)
One of the most important points to remember about the relationship discussion is to plan it wisely. Converse in a relaxed atmosphere with no announcement or drama. When both partners are in a good mood might be after dinner or at the end of the evening after an enjoyable date. You need to just be yourself, and be ready to accept the answer. The step is positive, and can serve as a learning experience in your life.
Where is this Relationship Going
Love at the Lake
Real life stories, Miss T.
. A young woman in her late twenties, Miss T. dated intermittently a young man for about 5 years. He also dated others. After losing his job, he took a position five hundred miles away in Chicago. They saw each other when he came home and corresponded. She loved him but had a hunch he would marry someone from Chicago. When he came home one Christmas, she asked him "the Question." His response was that she never came to visit him in Chicago, and her hunch was right. She never answered his phone calls after that. Later, she learned that a girlfriend went to Chicago to visit him, and that very weekend, he became engaged to a woman from Chicago. The other girl was heartbroken.
Real life stories, Miss C.
Another situation involves Miss C, a thirty five year old who had dated for some time a man in his early fifties. The relationship was drifting, and she wanted to break it off. Instead, her brother confronted him about "the Question" and told him his sister would move on if nothing came of this situation. He proposed, and they are happily married.
The answer to the question is obvious. Some men normally do not ask the question while others do. Women ask the question when they need to move on, if the situation is stagnant. The women in the two actual situations had no choice but to ask the question to move on with their lives. If the dating period has not been very long, the question is unnecessary, and those who ask it put themselves in a precarious situation. The art of dating can be very complex, and those involved need to use good judgment. Otherwise, people hurt others unnecessarily. Love is powerful, sometimes fleeting, sometimes breaking hearts. However, in life, no situation is perfect, and individuals are not perfect. Everyone makes the best decisions at the time, even about the question "Where is this relationship going?
Did you ever ask a partner/lover where a relationship was going?
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