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White Trash Is The New Cancer

Updated on November 23, 2009


There was a time when it was said that everyone either had someone in their family who has, has had cancer or knows someone who has had cancer. After a recent phone call with my mother hearing all about the antics of “that side” of the family it suddenly dawned on me, White Trash is the new Cancer – Don’t Get Me Started!

I don’t think it takes much to look at your family and see that at least one side has someone somewhere who could easily fall into the category of white trash. Now I’m not talking just finding someone who likes Nascar in your family tree, no, I’m talking about a full-fledged, Jerry Springer guest here. I’ll go first. I have a cousin who was the first woman to shoot a wild turkey one hunting season; it’s stuffed and sits proudly on display on the top of her television. Now I know you’re thinking what I was thinking, which is Jews can be white trash but apparently they can my friends.  And it doesn’t stop there with “that side,” they’ve have had court dates, children being raised by their “baby’s daddy” and more, much more.

There was a time that when someone had cancer the word had to be whispered when discussed. I’m not sure if this was to ward off the evil cancer spirits from the person mentioning it or if it was just something people did to be polite. (You know, like talking behind someone’s back about how much weight they’ve gained instead of telling them to their face that they have blown up like a tick attached to Clifford the Big Red Dog!) Cancer was scary. No one really survived it so it almost seemed appropriate to only whisper the phantom disease’s name that should not be named but with the advances in medicine and people realizing that whispering about cancer doesn’t make it any less scary it seems that people whisper the word a lot less.

Meanwhile who wants to shout from the tree tops that they’ve got white trash in their family? No one, that’s who. So it just got me thinking that perhaps the white trash disease is almost as insidious as cancer these days and much more embarrassing. It’s the new thing you whisper so as to not blow your cover of being a classy family. The only way to feel better about it is to know that every family has at least one too. Take three seconds and think about it. See, you didn’t have to think that long or look all that hard to find the white trash in your family, did you? And it’s not just for us common folk it’s celebrities too, look at John Gosselin, Levi Johnston and Sarah Palin (to name a few). Perhaps that’s why Jerry Springer isn’t as popular as he once was, it’s no longer a spectator’s sport it’s just family! White Trash is the new Cancer – Don’t Get Me Started!

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