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Who am I? Deep down inside?
When we need to stop listening to others and listen to our inner voice.
We all go through different stages of maturity. It is an evolutionary event whether you are on board with it or not. Nothing stays the same and change is inevitable. How you handle it though is a whole other story.
Let us stick with the importance of why it is imperative we learn who we are, why we embrace the things we do, and how we find our true-self through all the muck and mire. Many of us come from the clique childhood experience where one or more persons in your life felt incumbent on versing you with “the what and how’s of ____________!" You know things like how to wear the right types or colors of clothing or how to style your hair the right way or the dreaded daily reminder "you are just not quite up to speed.” The standard mental health term for this is projection or narcissism- depending on the way it is used. Nonetheless, all the scripts we are constantly told repeatedly only make you become more confused about who you are and why you are the way you are!
Essentially, it just adds layers upon layers of more verbal junk, told lies, received lies, and heartache to plow through as you mature. And, that is only if you are aware enough to enter into self-awareness or self-help to begin with. If you are brave, you may call a professional counselor to make the experience less painful and numbing and hope to get through it quicker.The rest typically take on an idol like alcohol, sex, drugs, excessive wealth... you fill in the blanks.
Here are some symptoms of "How allowing others to dictate your well-being and hijack your sense of worth and value result in:"
- Unsure of your daily choices, literally question yourself all the time. Indecisive?
- Need reassurance on the way you look in physical appearance, a lot!
- When that suspected nay-Sayer comes your way, you look for an exit or internally cringe. You may feel physically ill after your interaction.
- You instantly become defensive, and later wish you had the balls to say shut up or who cares what you think, really!
- You are always comparing yourself to the ideal you made up in your head.
- If you feel good about yourself, you will find one or 100 reason why you shouldn't when the dreaded scripts pop into your head, and they will.
- You lose sight of your infinite worth and beauty.
- You forget you were created for a bigger purpose!
- If you are a sensitive type, these ongoing scripts can cause depression or self-denial by trying to live like others think you should instead of listening to your inner voice. Result: complete inner chaos= no self esteem.
- You can’t connect with others the way you really want to.
- You will more than likely invite someone into your life who also treats you like this in your adult body.
- You carry excess weight on your shoulders or you physically feel heavy in parts of your body. You are achy, a lot!
- It is really hard for you to speak up and state the truth despite who the offensive player is.
- You go searching for yourself, sledging through extra heartache and pain, when you were with yourself all along because you couldn’t hear yourself with all the extra chatter in your head.
How can you break free of these ragged scripts?
1. Find out what these scripts are that make you feel less than or unworthy. What did you tell yourself at a young age or what lie did you agree to?
2. Start with your childhood. There is a crisis or an event that altered your idea of safety or security and what part did you play in that situation? Parental divorce, loss of a sibling or parent...
3. Ask those close to you to help figure out the played out scripts of "just not quite....you subconsciously play in your head."
4. Confront these lies. Visualize removing them or verbally release them back to the lying box they came from then burn the box.
5. Replace these lies with truth and love.
6. Embrace your specialness, regardless of what others may or may not think
7. Love you first!
8. Learn how to create boundaries in your life so that you can move forward in a proactive way.
9. Make way for a creative outlet. Find out what you are gifted at.
10. Spend time in the places that speak to your soul.
11. Create a space that speaks your life canvas and visit daily.
12. Help someone else who is struggling to find their truth.