- Gender and Relationships
Do Affairs Have Consequences?
The Cheating Half
Cheating on your partner, whether that person is your husband/wife /girl or boyfriend should be taken more seriously by you, the cheater. I believe most cheaters who have affairs or even one nightstands, tend to bury their head in the sand and believe they are in control of the situation, when in fact quite the opposite is true. The infidelity that occurs in these situations takes on a life of its own with the end result being, once the affair is uncovered, multiple people being hurt. If you believe your affair is only going to hurt your partner if they know about it then think again. Very rarely does it occur that the only people knowing of an affair are the two committing it as most situations require a third person at least to cover for one or both of you. Often this is a friend who finds themselves in an awkward situation having to lie or at the least deal with the knowledge that you, their friend is being deceitful. And once the affair is made known to others there is family often including children who end up hurt. Every action has consequences and affairs are no different.
So what motivates you to start an affair? Is it because of a sexual attraction that just can't be ignored? Well, you should be asking yourself does the grass just look greener or won't I know unless I actually jump the fence? Chances are it isn't any different or better and why take the risk of losing what you already have. If you dislike you present partner then you owe it to yourself and them to be honest and move on. But of course a lot of the times this just does not happen and I know that affairs don't only happen because of unhappiness in the relationship. Many times it occurs despite the relationship being a happy one. Some people just want it all. They want their cake and to eat it too!. And like I said they pay no heed to what they know is right or wrong, they are ruled by their passion and their insatiable lust. And only when their secret is discovered and their partner is in tears do they find it in their heart to be remorseful. The motivation for your actions is purely and simply to satisfy your immediate needs. These needs are not always confined to sexual needs, they can also include companionship and understanding they may help you to feel less lonely, the other person may be more accepting of your shortcomings....whatever the reasoning, there is never any excuse to hurt another person.
It is a high price to pay for such a selfish indulgence. And at the end of it all you may very well be left high and dry, abandoned by your partner and your lover, unable to be with your children, embarrassed to face your family and friends. Could you have not, for one second before being tempted by lust, thought about the consequences of your actions. Or did you think that you would never be found out? Just like Arnold Schwarzenegger never thought his affair with his housekeeper Patricia Baena would be discovered. Did he think his children would still be proud of their daddy for being unfaithful to their mother, actress Maria Shriver and fathering another child. Did he think anyone would be happy about this? Is he happy about it now? or does he wish he could go back in time and be happy with what he had? Too late, the fall out has only just begun. He will lose millions in a divorce settlement, sure he can afford it but no one can afford the cost of broken lives and hearts. And what about the lover, the third person in these trysts? Even if they did know the other was married or in a relationship, what if they are abandoned now that the affair has been discovered? Their heart broken, their pride hurt, they may even seek revenge because they were not "the winner".
Well now! you didn't need to be a rocket scientist after all did you? Sure you may have been blindsided or just blind, but still that is not a viable excuse. You have probably succeeded in making yourself miserable and maybe even homeless, shattered your family and friends high opinion of you, destroyed your children's happy home life, made you partner angry enough to contemplate revenge or at least seek a good divorce lawyer. The question is...have you learnt anything? I hope so because that was after all the point of this hub. To make you stop and think before embarking on the affair or stop it before it is too late.