ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Gender and Relationships»
  • Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships

8 Reasons Why Women Actually Fall For The Nice Guys

Updated on March 31, 2017
Source

There's a huge misconception about Nice Guys that always finish last in terms of dating. This fake assumption makes guys desperate, and they either start blaming and generalizing all women or acting like assholes. Yes, assholes might have a bigger success with women, but in most cases, they don't have healthy relationships that require skills of real nice guys.

Being genuinely kind and compassionate are very attractive traits. And real nice guys have these traits. They don't pretend interest, they're not dishonest with a woman by agreeing with everything she says, and they're not trying to avoid conflicts. Got it? Typical Nice Guys are terrible human beings, and it's pretty straightforward why they're unsuccessful.

Real nice guys have a different approach. They're neither jerks nor Nice Guys, they're only genuine to others and usually have these traits:

1. Real nice guys are honest

Real nice guys are honest and open about everything they say, and that makes them attractive. They're not ashamed of their interest or sexuality and let the woman know their intentions. They're also honest with themselves, and if they don't like something, they express it a good way.

2. Real nice guys are assertive

Being passive isn't a way to success, and that's truth in dating as well. If they aren't confident enough to approach a woman, tell her they fancy or love her, then they're not going to date her especially in cultures where it's a norm to be more initiative than women. Yes, you can find a partner by being passive, but it's faster and more attractive to be proactive in dating.

3. Real nice guys are transparent

A genuinely nice guy is transparent with a woman. Being open and vulnerable are key traits to succeed in dating. If you are vulnerable to other people, they likely won't judge you, but rather start feeling a deeper connection with you. Also, it's much better if both of you know where you stand in the relationship.

4. Real nice guys set boundaries

Do you know why people never take advantage of real nice guys? They have set boundaries in the early stages of relationships. It filters out possessive people that are entitled to you and attract people that respect your decisions. Having boundaries is a key to healthy relationships, and this advice applies not only to dating.

5. Real nice guys are respectful

To follow-up the previous trait, real nice guys also understand others' needs. They're not selfish. They know that other people might have a different opinion or make a decision that isn't for their benefit. But they still respect it because they're not a center of attention.

Source

6. Real nice guys are truly compassionate

Real nice guys don't pretend a compassion. They don't just nod their head and fake understanding of her feelings. Instead, they try to genuinely understand a situation from her point of view not because they want to get into her pants, but because they see more than just a sexy body. They see a vulnerable human being full of fears, insecurities, anger, and problems. If they do understand woman's feelings, they can build a deeper connection that leads to a better relationship.

7. Real nice guys know when to "lose" a woman

The truth is that you'll meet many people you won't click with. You're not compatible with everyone, and real nice guys know when to leave a relationship. You can be incompatible for various reasons – politics opinions, relationship goals, life values, and so on. If you don't ignore these things, you'll filter out incompatible people in the beginning.

8. Real nice guys treat women as individuals

There are 3.5 billions women on this planet. Do you think that you can treat all of them the same way? Every woman and every man are different. They possess different values, hobbies, goals, and needs. To be successful in dating, you must treat every woman the way she wants to. Respect her decisions while maintaining self-respect.

It's a disappointment that society doesn't teach men these traits. Being nice means to be kind and compassionate to other people. You should treat people with respect especially if they have different opinions. Being self-confident and respectful is a good way to start dating, but be also honest with yourself. If you don't agree with something, then set boundaries and don't let other people take advantage of you. If you don't have boundaries, then you're losing your identity and who wants to date people without an identity?

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 5 months ago

      "Yes, assholes might have a bigger success with women, but in most cases, they don't have healthy relationships that require skills of real nice guys." - Very true!

      Therein lies the problem for a lot (young) nice guys.

      They're simply looking to have a romantic relationship period.

      Oftentimes they're dreaming and pursuing women who are into "bad boys" instead of going after "Nice girls".

      Every guy has eyes for the hot cheerleader or homecoming queen in high school. However "nice guys", "nerds", and "geeks" will rarely draw their attention. They're regulated to being in the "friend zone" with those women.

      Generally speaking it's not until those girls have had their heart broken multiple times that they even consider going out with a "nice guy". Thus the old adage: "Nice guys finish last."

      Author Lori Gottlieb had a best selling book titled:

      "Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough"

      Essentially she is espousing women to give up on finding the handsome "Prince Charming" or "Dashing Knight" that makes a woman's heart skip a beat but rather look for "nice guys" who are loyal, dependable, reliable, and will treat them well.

      It's a "practical approach" to dating and mate selection.

      However many young women have a difficult time letting go of the idea of taming a "bad boy".

      Such a woman could be put in a room with five men where four of them drop to their knees extending out their heart to her while the "5th guy" sits in a corner sipping on a cocktail acting as if she does not exist. (That's the guy she will want to get to know!)

      She sees him as a "mystery" or a "challenge" and needs to prove to herself that she could get him as well. If it turns out other women are after him it only raises his "stock". Competition just makes her go all out to "win him over".

      Well as the "nice guy" makes it too easy and is seen as boring.

      "We adore those who ignore us and ignore those who adore us."

      Truth be told that sentence seems to apply to both sexes.

      Literally you can have a "nice guy" sitting with a "nice girl" and they're both complaining about being ignored by others!

      For some reason the thought never occurs to them to date each other! Maybe it's human nature to want what is difficult to get.

    • Happy Knees profile image

      Miss Intern 5 months ago

      This is great and quintessential Mr. Tony Palus :) I've encountered this kind of guy. Even though he is very nice I didn't took him for granted. He is thoughtful that's why I really loved him but on the end I let him go Because he really love her than me. I set him free. "You must love especially the person you love feels free" . But despite of that I'm so happy for him. I'm so happy for all the things that makes him happy.

      Besides, Thumbs up for those nice guys out there. I thought girls will feel passionate to have you guys. :)