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Why do Men Cheat on Their Girlfriend's and Wives With Their Ex Wives

Updated on August 16, 2017
Rosa Ann Crowder profile image

I grew up in a small town called Whitesburg, Georgia. As a poor Woodard girl, I had to make my own living and opportunities.

Exes are Like Boomerangs

  • Memories. It’s a good reason for them to return when there was a real physical relationship.
  • The Do-Over. After they've made a few mistakes, they end up altering their behavior and patterns, If they made a bunch of errors with a past partner, yet felt that there was a real connection, men return for a second go-round, presumably more prepared.
  • Single Again. Males and females on the rebound tend to reconnect. Being a boomerang is more common than you think. The reasons vary, but mostly due to memories and want a do-over.

Quite often a man will miss his ex just because he’s lonely. Even though he might have a good relationship with his new girlfriend or wife, he has a longing for his ex. He’s not necessarily, wishing they were back together per say, just wants to reach out to the woman he was once close to and keep that spark.

By reaching out with a simple phone call, email or text message, they're testing the waters and will gauge what is possible by the reaction.

Some Men Regrets Breaking up With The Ex

A woman who gives any advantage to a man may expect a lover but will sooner or later find a tyrant.

— Lord Byron

Some Men Still Loves the Ex

Spying on The Ex

Some men do spy on the ex regularly. They find excuses to call or visit. They stalk and sometimes harass. They don't do it out of spite or revenge. They feel the need to spy because they are needy.

Harassment covers a broad range of behaviors of an offensive nature. For example, repeatedly texting. More often than not, the behavior disturbs or upsets the ex. Harassment is characteristically repetitive.

Sometimes the behavior has a positive outturn. These men either have an affair with the ex, relationship with no strings attached, or get back into a relationship where they live together again.

Women Spy on Their Exes too

Men are, literally lying in bed with their wives when the marriage is essentially over, thinking, 'I've got to get the hell out of here,' and have a fantasy woman in mind. Then you get divorced, meet a woman, marry her, and by the time all that goes by, you've aged a few years and are ready to go back to your ex-wife.

— Alec Baldwin

Why Infidelity

I believe that unhappiness tops the list of reasons for a man's infidelity and his desire to reconnect with his ex. But when it is significants to the root of that unhappiness, there is a broad range of catalysts, and every scenario is different. Is it due to lack of communication, jealousy, problems in the bedroom, wife doesn't take care of the home, wife has gained weight, woman over spends money, and the list goes on.

I believe that the two main reasons why infidelity is;

  • The woman's appearance has changed.
  • The woman's over spending of money

Because of these two reasons is that the ex still looks good and she has control over money issues.

Certain Types of Men are Focused on Instant Gratification

He is a dog. No ifs, and's, or but's about it. He will meet any of his exes any place at any time if any of them are willing to hook up with him. He loves playing the field. I describe that type of man as a sex addict.

All my exes are serial cheaters. The Georgia/Alabamian wanna be, is a kind of sociopath cheater.

— Rosa Ann Crowder

I Have Wised Up

Recycling the Ex

— Rosa's Concepts

  • I don't go backward. I go forward.
  • I've always said that exes are like boomerangs. But we must remember, After all, when you pull milk out of the fridge, and it's spoiled, you don't put it back and hope it's fresh tomorrow.
  • Therefore, reconnecting is not an option. I have wised up.

Being Remorseful

Misery and Guilt
Misery and Guilt

But the flip side of cheating is no walk in the park either. The anxiety that comes with sneaking around, the guilt you feel after committing the crime and having to see your partner who is none the wiser about what you've done, and, if you decide to, breaking the news is incredibly unpleasant.

Sometimes He is Being Chased by the Ex

Sometimes you have to break the ties and move on.
Sometimes you have to break the ties and move on.


How important is your relationship with your ex (the closest relationship of all your exes)

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© 2017 Rosa Ann Crowder


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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 6 months ago

      Sometimes people have sex with exes because it may have been the "best part" of their relationship with them.

      They may have moved on and found a much more well rounded mate but sex with them isn't nearly as good as it was with their ex. If a man or woman can have the best of both worlds there's a good chance they'll go for it.

      The goal of most cheaters is hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side. Rarely are they looking to replace one relationship with another. They simply want to "compliment" what they already have. Their ex might do some things in bed the current wife is not into. Not all women are equal sexually in the eyes of most men.

      There are 3 basic types of cheaters in my opinion.

      1. The Incessant Cheater

      This person gets bored very easily and has probably never been faithful in any long-term relationship. They love the thrill of being with someone (new). Monogamy for them is the equivalent of going on a very strict healthy diet. It's not a matter of (if) they will cheat but (when) they will cheat.

      Their motto is: "Variety is the spice of life!"

      2. The Unbelievable Opportunity Cheater

      This person is not proactively looking to cheat. They may have a crush on someone be it an ex, a coworker, or a random stranger they see at Starbucks. One day their "crush" flirts with them or hits on them making it clear there is an opportunity to turn a fantasy into reality. Essentially they cave in to temptation.

      3. The Discontented Cheater

      He/she blames you!

      If you hadn't did or stopped doing whatever they never would have been open to stepping outside of the marriage.

      Some men and women never fully let go of their exes especially if they have children. Having sex with them is like slipping on an old pair of slippers. While it may be against the law to have two wives it's not against the law for them to be married and continue to have sex with their ex. When opportunity meets greed a lot of men will take advantage if given the chance.