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Why Do Men Hate Women Using Body Parts for a Pillow

Updated on August 8, 2015
Getting closer to each other is a natural progression in any relationship.
Getting closer to each other is a natural progression in any relationship. | Source
The shoulder is where most women head for contact. Be careful. This is not always where he wants you to be.
The shoulder is where most women head for contact. Be careful. This is not always where he wants you to be. | Source

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One of the most romantic scenes from any movie is the girl with her head against a man’s body, using it as a pillow. She blinks of lovingly at him and he blinks back with just as much joy. It is certainly possible she is nice and comfy, but he is not. This looks great, but feels bad. Find out why he hates being used as a pillow.

The resting place for her head is the chest, shoulder, arm, lap or even legs in some cases. It is when the music changes to something breathtaking and eyes meet each other. Magic takes place. Is this the truth of what is transpiring or is it something else entirely? For tons of men, they hate women making this move. Ever wonder why?

Countless men admit they detest it. There are a number of reasons why feelings sway in this direction. Find out some of them.

Not ready for it

Believe it or not this physical contact does permanently put the relationship on a new level. This is more than holding hands. When women initiate the contact it is a different sentiment a man feels than when he invites it.

A request from him when this move is made means he is ready to shift forward to the next level of intimacy. If he doesn’t summon the courage to request or ask for it, the possibility exists he is not prepared for this move in the relationship.

The repercussions are unknowable. It is possible it ends here. He never calls back again or the rejection is more than she is able to stand and she ends it.


Although a woman has a feeling of physical comfort resting the cranium on a shoulder, he does not. Most men honesty admit dislike for the state of affairs. For the most part positions to achieve the placing are awkward, painful, unpleasant and certainly uncomfortable. This is never spoken or shared because of the fear of making a woman feel ill at ease. The distress is endured silently. There is the possibility of a physical discomfort as well as an emotional one.

Affection is usually felt by a woman to the point where more intimate conversation is shared at this time. Men are not experiencing the same loving closeness. The emotion of being close and feelings of warmth women admit to is turned into physical suffering for the man. A man has his mind and thoughts elsewhere.

From the woman's point of view the mood is one of contentment, relaxation and calm. Men feel discomfort; begin to ache after a few minutes or eventually even pain. Minutes turn into hours when she falls asleep. Women must consider if the tables were turned. Would the feelings be the same?

Future Expectations

Interactions with people who care for one another involve moving and breathing creatures. They grow and evolve as connections are made with one another over time. Assumptions take place between one or both parties as a relationship blossoms. Moving toward the next step is generally what happens in a relationship after passing a milestone. What is the next step? Are both ready to see it occur? This takes the relationship beyond holding hands to something more.

What does a man expect after this physical display of intimacy. Is the relationship moving forward to a milestone of another sort?Are both man and woman ready to go further to another place where more grown up decisions take place? Both must be on the same page with future expectations.

Is this a move which actually kills everything afterwards or makes the bond stronger?

This is the touching moment in the love affair when things become more than a crush and move to a more intimate relationship status. There is a sense of adventure and excitement. Women love it, but men hate when women use body parts for a pillow. The entire incident is meaningless for some while others give it great magnitude.

It is a prickly situation when a significant other offers a gesture of intimacy and a special moment is ruined for the sake of not being comfy. The result is sometimes not only the moment lost, but the entire incident never repeated. There is the fear of being reproached by the admission of misery or not committed to the conversation at hand for the same reason.

Never drive him away over something simple. Discuss an issue and resolve it whenever possible.
Never drive him away over something simple. Discuss an issue and resolve it whenever possible.

Embarrassment is always an issue in any relationship


By the large this is characteristically not a planned move. In other words, the deed just happens. It feels like the right time and/or the right place and boom. Your head shifts to his shoulder, stomach or even his legs. Sometimes it rests on the upper portion of his chest. The action makes sense at the time. Not to him.

The fact of the matter is usually this is the closest a couple has been physically. Everything is not always as fresh as he would like it to be. The portions of his body being used to relocate your craniums are definitely ones where freshness counts. The process of making it fresh starts with a recent shower and a clean shirt and pair of pants.

Moving to his shoulder means hopefully finding the best deodorant or antidepressant at work. On his chest is wonderful if he didn’t just work out or play a game of touch football with his friends. His legs are typically repositioned if a case of jock itch is raging. Hopefully he did not pull today’s pair of sweat pants from the dirty clothes hamper instead of the clean clothes drawer.

This is an episode of embarrassment which isn’t easily forgotten or anxiously looking forward to repeating any time soon.

In conclusion

Surprisingly most people never consider the consequences of using his body parts as a pillow. Are there ramifications or rewards? It most certainly is not he cannot bear a woman’s touch. He never is repulsed by the closeness. Though, most men detest using his body as a pillow for a number of reasons.

There is a moment of importance taking place for one party while the other is possibly not even on the same page. Consider the entire process is worth something or possibly nothing at all. Is it meaningless? Do not read everything into it because some things are misconstrued by women. Men really are not that complicated. They keep things much simpler than women. They merely hate the process mentioned here for these reasons and no doubt scores of more. They do not like it when a women using a man’s body to stand-in for a pillow.

Consider asking him for permission before laying on his shoulder? Is it possible he is embarrassed? How about uncomfortable? Make certain he is at ease with the gesture.

What if the tables where turned and he automatically put his head in your lap? Without warning someone simply finds it available and moves into your personal space? Would you feel at ease with it?

Subsequent to using his body parts for a pillow what happens? Physically the results are possibly something you are not ready to face. Even if you are, is he? What intimate gesture or move follows this action? Both people being on the same page for that event is definitely a requirement. This needs to be agreed upon for the bond to continue.

Where do you fall in the equation?

Have you ever used his body as a pillow?

See results

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The BBC put together a wonderful video on why some men are raised to hate women.

© 2014 smcopywrite


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    • profile image

      ignugent17 2 years ago

      Interesting hub and I think it is always nice to sleep on a real pillow. :-)

    • smcopywrite profile image

      smcopywrite 2 years ago from all over the web

      thanks dashing for the feedback. great to hear from readers like you.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      It really comes down to how "into" the woman the man is. Everyone breaks their "rules" for "the one".

      Having said that I believe the number one reason why some men hate being used as a pillow is the feeling of being restricted. Most men don't enjoy being penned down or physically restrained in anyway.

      Secondly sometimes body limbs go numb especially if lying down and someone is resting on your arm.

      Generally speaking the majority of men are fine with women using their chest as a pillow especially after sex. I imagine it's because we're very relaxed or drifting off to sleep. :)