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Why Do Relationships Never Work Out?

Updated on June 11, 2016


In this generation today compared to all those in the past relationships have changed in those recent times. Today there are more single people in this world that cannot find a nice genuine person to be with. Why is this?

Back then there wasn't a thing called "social media," if you wanted to talk to someone you had to write them a letter, and wait until you received one back. There were no phones, cell phones, or any other communication it was actually getting to know someone and connecting with them. The "dates" people consider now are going to the mall walking around, sitting at someone's house, and "Netflix and Chill." People hardly go to movies anymore, or going on a nice hike and exploring the world while getting to know someone they like. Now-a-days if you like someone they ask you out, if they know about you or not. This is how much the world has changed.

Now with "social media" people don't try getting to know each other, they depend on dating sites to help them out by finding someone. It is hard I've had in my own experience tried finding someone on dating sites. I have dated a couple guys, but you never know how someone is until you meet them, and start getting to know them. That's when the real mask starts to fall off. This generation is hard for people that wanna find the one for them. Either you have to find it through work, which could be a real risk taker, or keep trying on the dating sites which can be dangerous too. But why is it so hard for people to find someone?

It seems as though everyone has stopped trying to find anyone, and started thinking more with their privates. This world is more about "Netflix and Chill." And for those that don't know what that means, it means sex. This is how so many relationships are ruined, because people are starting to think more about just that. We went from guys holding doors to guys just thinking with their heads. The more that people stop trying to find someone the more no one does.

In relationships its hard to trust someone with so many of these social medias. In my experience I have been cheated on by guys that cared more to talk to other girls on those sites. Is there an actual committed relationship anymore? The ones that created these sites didn't think it through what it could do to someone's relationship. It's not just guys that cheat, women do also. Those that don't get on dating sites for dating, and actually found someone in this world randomly, why didn't theirs work out?

When two people happen to run into each other one day while with friends, and hit it off, then suddenly break up. Why would two people break up when there is nothing getting into their way? The reason would be there isn't any communication. I have always been told communication is key in a relationship. You have to talk to your partner and get comfortable with them. You can tell them some of the things that are bothering you, if you were comfortable. Another reason is because there are trust issues. This is common in this generation not to trust any one you talk to. It's hard to trust anyone after a breakup where they did you wrong. It takes a lot to start over with someone new, and gain trust towards each other. Some people get done wrong so many times that they cannot trust anyone at all, even in new relationships. That could end up ruining a relationship quicker. Could there be no intimacy at all in the relationship? There are other types of intimacy other than being intimate with someone in the bedroom, and I'll list the differences.

  • Aesthetic Intimacy – Sharing experiences of beauty – music, nature, art, theater, etc.
  • Communication Intimacy – Connect through talking. Keep communication channels open. Listen to and value your spouse’s ideas. Be loving, compassionate, respectful, giving, truthful, and open in your communication.
  • Conflict Intimacy – Facing and struggling with differences together. Using resolution of conflict to grow closer together.
  • Creative Intimacy – Experiencing closeness through acts of creating together. Sharing expressions of love in creative ways.
  • Crisis Intimacy – Developing closeness in dealing with problems and pain. Standing together in tragedies. Responding together in a united way to pressures of life such as working through problems, raising a family, illness, aging, etc.
  • Emotional Intimacy – Feeling connected at an emotional level. Being in tune with each other’s emotions; being able to share significant meanings and feelings with each other, including negative feelings.
  • Financial Intimacy – Working together to balance differing attitudes about money. Developing a unified plan for budgeting, spending, and saving. Having shared financial goals.
  • Forgiveness Intimacy – Apologizing to each other. Asking for forgiveness. Asking your spouse, “What can I do to be a better husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend?”
  • Friendship Intimacy – Feeling a close connection and regard for one another as friends.
  • Humor Intimacy – Sharing through laughing together. Having jokes between the two of you that only you share. Making each other laugh. Enjoying the funny side of life.
  • Intellectual Intimacy – Experiencing closeness through sharing ideas. Feeling mutual respect for each other’s intellectual capacities and viewpoints. Sharing mind-stretching experiences. Reading, discussing, and studying together.
  • Parenting Intimacy – Sharing the responsibilities of raising children, including providing for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Includes working together in teaching and disciplining them as well as loving them, and worrying about their welfare.
  • Recreational Intimacy – Experiencing closeness and connection through fun and play. Helping each other rejuvenate through stress-relieving and enjoyable recreation together.
  • Service Intimacy – Sharing in acts of service together. Growing closer as a couple as you experience the joy that comes from giving to others.
  • Spiritual Intimacy – Discovering and sharing values, religious views, spiritual feelings, meaning in life, etc.
  • Work Intimacy– Experiencing closeness through sharing common tasks, such as maintaining a house and yard, raising a family, earning a living, participating in community affairs, etc
  • Physical intimacy is sensual proximity or touching. It is an act or reaction, such as an expression of feelings (including close friendship, love, or sexual attraction), between people
  • Experiential intimacy aka intimacy activity. Examples of this would be where people get together to actively involve themselves with each other, saying little to each other, not sharing any thoughts or many feelings, but being involved in mutual activities with one another.

Most relationships lack these types of intimacy. If people cared to make a difference in changing their lives and the way they date, then they would practice being more intimate with someone. And stop worrying about dating sites and actually try to get out there.

© 2016 Leana Nunnery


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