- Gender and Relationships
Why Good Girls Love Bad Boys
James Dean- Image of an original bad boy
The "you complete me" love cliché transforms into "you excite me" when good girl meets bad boy. In a way, he is foreign to her; exciting, unpredictable. This combination will amount to a co-dependant, combustible couple with opposites being attracted to the other for all the wrong reasons. A good girl jumps in with no awareness of who she is dealing with while a bad boy has the art of manipulation down to perfection. He is excited by the prospect of a new "game" the good girl has to offer.
The truth is, typically the good girl picks the bad boy because of how he makes her feel; fascinating, needed, pursued, and good. He is a rush and a big, part charity case too- he's got a lot of issues and If she tames him or helps him, it will be the ultimate good deed. Of course it's not that simple. There are many other reasons a good girl is drawn to an irresistible bad boy.
Hero bad boy Mark Whalburg
#1 My Hero
The main male character in almost any movie has a lot of typical bad boy characteristics. To be a hero, chase the bad guy, and save the girl, you need manly characteristics, resourcefulness, and a willingness to do whatever it takes, even break a few laws. No hero conquers anything at the end of day by asking nicely with superior gentleman-like manners. Heroes act before thinking, exactly what bad boys are known for, and nice guys, well they get to be the "friends" or ran over in the high speed chase.
Just like we can't blame men for preferring the typical female body portrayed in the media, well women are just as susceptible to the traits in a male hero role. After all, didn't Princess Belle fall in love with the tyrant Beast in Beauty and the Beast?
In a typical movie, the main male character has to be interesting and engaging. The truth is a bad boy has faced more struggles and adversity, which makes for a more interesting, complex, and resilient person- the stuff movie roles are made of.
On the topic of characters and roles, a bad boy helps a woman escape her busy mind and become someone totally different. Good girls live under a heavy burden of expectations from others, always doing the right thing, saying the right thing and being pleasing. It's nice to simply not care and relax. Basically, bad boys are equivalent to a full body massage, a few shots of tequila, or a riveting romance novel scene.
Jack Nicholson- Charming womanizer
#2 Give and Take Needs
Good girls are pleasers and bad boys are takers- perfect example of opposites attract or yin and yang. In love, there is always the dealer and the addict- they need each other. Good girls have a natural instinct to give and nurture and not think twice about expecting anything back. In fact, it makes them happy to give to a guy who is good at taking- they feel needed. The bad boy may also require a little extra nurturing due to a rough past and inability to love deeply or unselfishly. He is used to being resourceful and using what he can to take what he can- a survival mechanism or maybe a game. Either way a good girl is a prime target; she never knows exactly what she is getting herself into.
Good girls find the good in everyone and even she sees the hurt little boy behind his bad boy facade. When she is with this guy, she is always thinking she will be the one to help him or "he only opens up to me", and somehow that will feel like a compliment. She won't give up on him as quickly as most people will. She gives him endless encouragement, feeding his needs and hers simultaneously.
Colin Farrell...Celebrity serial dater
#3. Bad Boys are Good...Looking, that is
Bad boys tend to be better looking- they put more effort into their appearance because they need to attract (bait) women. He knows he is good-looking and he knows people are watching him- he can be very aware and selfish. Even if a bad boy isn't totally gorgeous, his status ("Bad Boy") and attitude alone will captivate any woman. A bad boy image has been glamorized for ages, possibly before the Marlboro Man smoked his first cigarette.
Bad boys are good at attracting an audience- they have all the right superficial characteristics (boyish, assertive, mysterious) that seem exciting and alluring for a quick pick-me-up, and you will never get to know this guy beyond his pick-up line. He's a silent tortured soul and his looks state everything you need to know about him. All these traits can be intriguing to a good girl who hasn't been around too many people like him.
#4 Bad Boys Make Women Feel....
ALIVE! There is something about a nice guy that makes many women feel as if their life is over right then and there- it will be predictable and mundane forever. Bad boys are different- they make women feel sexy, exciting, and free. How enjoyable a woman's sex life is very dependent on how she feels about herself when she is around someone. Bad boys will make her feel more senses than anybody else.
Women's fantasies, movies, and romance novels are usually based on a rebel or bad boy- a smooth talking, confident, against all odds, survivor and fighter. All this makes women explore a different side to themselves as well as a secure feeling- he will be our hero and protect us. For a minute, it's like living in a romance novel; part hot sex and part drama. Ironically, we made need protection against him.
#5 Let me in
Bad boys are mysterious. Think of Johnny Depp, not necessarily classified as a bad boy- not with a wife and kids, but he has a quiet, artistic, somewhat tortured soul vibe to him. He is a mystery. Women love a good mystery.
If you want to know what a woman is thinking as she instinctively spots the bad boy in the room; "I wonder what his story is? Why is he that way? It's a mystery so I must find out". Bad boys always have layers to them- you'll be peeling that onion all your life. A bad boy may give her an awkward compliment or say something intriguing and this instantly draws her in. The mystery ensues.
Men love a good chase and hunt, but women love a good nut to crack, somebody to figure out, and even fix. She make a mystery out of nothing sometimes. Women love to make things difficult- it's the truth. We make mountains out of mole holes and mysteries out of thin air.
Reformed Bad Boy; Robert Downing Jr.
Reformed: Johnny Depp
Reformed or prior bad boys
There are a group of guys that fall into this category. Many good girls desiring to settle down, find themselves falling for a reformed bad boy, and getting married/starting a family with one. Some bad boys never become reformed and choose indefinite bachelorhood or trouble ultimately lands them in prison or dead. These are harsh facts, but I can give some credit to the bad boys that find their way out and become a better man for it.
However, one must be equally cautious in relationships with them as well. They can revert back to their old ways easily, they have a hefty amount of baggage; many ex girlfriends, trouble with the law, kids from other women, maketheir own rules, chip on their shoulder, and quick to anger. Bad habits die hard.
Tommy Lee- Rocker bad boy
Signs of a Bad Boy
1. Appearance, appearance, appearance! Tattoos, piercings, smirk, extra sharp well-dressed OR extra tattered rough clothing.
2. Attitude- vague answers, aloof demeanor, and confident/cocky.
3. Addictions- alcohol, drugs, smoking, women, violence/fighting, dares, speed/fast cars, etc
4. Stands out in a crowd- attracts a crowd or remains by himself, either way is intriguing.
5. Make their own rules.
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