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Why He Will Not Marry You

Updated on August 31, 2013

Why He Will Not Marry You

There are couples who are together for years and years who never make an effort to marry, some even add children to the mix. Everyone has their own way of living there lives, so as the saying goes, "To each his own." However, there may be a woman whose still sitting around and waiting for her long term boyfriend to marry her. It may not be fair to assume that her boyfriend does not love her enough to marry her, but soon she will start thinking just that.

Different people do things for different reasons and a man not willing to commit to marrying his girlfriend might have other things on his agenda to do first before taking that marriage plunge. If he is busy with getting his education or trying to land his dream career, and he is serious about becoming established with these goals before marrying and starting a family, his plans should be understood and honored by his girlfriend.

A man may not want to marry a woman who doesn't have any goals or dreams of her own, you know the kind of woman who thinks her goals and dreams are to marry a man who has accomplished his goals or who is in the process of achieving those goals for himself, he understands that it takes more than love to be married to someone, love alone will not pay the bills.

And the flip side to the man who is achieving goals so that he will be able to support his family, there is the one who does not want the resposibilities of marriage and raising a family, he will stick around long enough in your life just to have a good time or reap all the benefits of being married without marrying you.

Some men does not like the thought of giving up their freedom to be with one woman, when they are used to dating as many women as they want. Marriage is something he might want later on in life, but right now all you can think of is getting married and the sooner the better.

If you feel differently than your partner, it's best not to expect him to change his way of living because he will not be happy as a married man if he's used to being a bachelor. Your marriage will not survive if there isn't mutual feelings. Whatever you do don't break out the old my biological clock is ticking speech, he see's it as some form of explosives and will run as far away from you as possible.

Another reason he isn't marrying you could simply be because he is frightened at the thought or just not ready. Complacency and perhaps even being content with just being your boyfriend can keep him from marrying.

Begging a man or giving an ultimatum could be just a waste of your time. Communicating is a big part of relationships and it is something you should do when it comes to an issue as important as marriage; sitting down together and talking it over is a good idea and if in the process you find out that he does not want to marry you, your other option or back up plan should be to move on and find a man who wants marriage as much as you do.



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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      You've given some sound and practical advice. "Timing" is a major reason why men don't want to get married. The other reason which no woman really wants to hear is: "You are not the one!" Odd as it may seem the second reason often goes unknown to the man involved. He may think things are fairly good but for (some reason) he doesn't want to jump the broom. You have to trust your gut.

      Having said that no woman should want to marry a man who does not want to marry her! In order for him to be "the one" he would have to see her as being "the one". Soul-mates have mutual love and desires. All marriages will have their share of challenges but at the very least they should start off with (both) people in the relationship (wanting) to get married!

      As for giving up "freedom" I have never known marriage to stop a man from seeing other women (if) that is what he wants to do. Too many people have a false security about the power of marriage.

      Last but not least if two consenting adults are in a relationship no one is getting "used" or taking advantage of the "perks" of marriage. The only way someone feels (used) is if they are doing things with a "hidden agenda" or secret objective with the hope it will lead to something else. Never hold someone else responsible for (your) choices.

      There is no "right' or "wrong" there is only "agree" and "disagree". Ultimately everyone is looking for someone who (naturally agrees) with them. Thankfully there are 7 Billion people on the planet! :-)