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Why He Is Not the Right Person for You (Sad Truth)

Updated on November 3, 2019
TheLiliputian profile image

Krishna has been a writer with an enthusiasm about life and psychology. She loves improving herself through reading and constant learning.

The Scenario

He seems like the right person to be with. You enjoy his company. He is the person that occupies your mind from the moment you wake up until before you sleep. You both enjoy each other's company, and while both of you may be fully aware that you are both interested in each other, your circumstances won't allow you to be together.

You are fully aware that this person is making you happy and he may seem like the right person, but you can't risk your situation to be with this person. Is he really the right person for you? Is it really your fate? Why is it so tragic to fall in love by meeting him at wrong time?


The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie.

— Shannon L. Alder

I've had my fair share of hurt by loving someone that I know I will and can never have. While I am fully aware of his feelings for me, and how he loves me, I can't risk both of us to be together. It was like playing a maze without an end, and while I am thinking of many options if we can still be together, it seems like there are really no options for both of us to work it out.

In the end, we end up hurting each other, feeling broken without us being in an official relationship. I've had three cycles of trying to working it out with this person, but each time we fail - or rather - I failed. We will go back to being acquaintances, to close friends, to being rejected and hurt again by our situation and circumstances. We already know that it will be hard to work it out but we kept on trying. The sad truth is I was never sure with this person, though I admit that I have feelings for him. I was doubtful if what we have is worth taking the risk, I ended up looking for the solution alone.

In the end, we endured more pain and suffering than happiness that our love can give us. We finally accepted the truth that sometimes we meet someone and fall in love together, but you do not end up to be together. Mutual feelings don't guarantee that two people can be happy with each other.

The Sad Truth

Meeting the seemingly right person for us at the wrong time is actually the wrong person. One never meets the right person at the wrong time because the right person is enduring. It may be hard to admit sometimes but that is the truth: sometimes we think of someone as being the right person when actually someone that is truly right for us is waiting or someone we haven't met yet.

The right person will make everything right despite the circumstances. Both of you will make everything right - the circumstances, the situation, the timing - because he is truly the right person.

God will bring the right person into your life at the right time. Always believe that! If they are not there, God isn't finished yet!

— Shannon L. Alder

The Joyful Truth

Despite all the pain, rejoice! For with the right person, you don't have to wonder if you can really work it out together, you just know. With the right person, both of you will endure the trials together making everything seems right.

Sometimes God will make you wait for the right person to come. He will come at the right moment and He will make everything right on time. Wait joyfully for the time that you will fall in love without being confused. He sometimes makes a plan for us to avoid the people that will hurt us in the long run. Believe that there is something rewarding with life as you go on.


Right person, wrong timing doesn’t mean God was wrong. It means you were there at the right time to fulfill something else. Look for it.

— Shannon L. Alder

The Present

The joyful gift of time is the present. Focus on improving your life, finding your purpose and working out on yourself. Live by giving grace to Him. Look for the rewards of life that are waiting to be discovered by you. For with the right person, you don't have to wonder if you can make it through. You will be able to make it through - together.

© 2019 Krishna


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    • TheLiliputian profile imageAUTHOR


      18 months ago

      "We make finding love difficult because it's the romantic thing to do." This is so true! People nowadays romanticize pain and suffering too much, that they can't move on from the fact that some people aren't just meant to be together when they keep on missing the right person that is truly suitable for them. Thank you for your comment! I truly appreciate it.

    • dashingscorpio profile image


      18 months ago from Chicago

      "Meeting the seemingly right person for us at the wrong time is actually the wrong person." - Very true!

      The sad truth is most people (romanticize obstacles)!

      Many of us have been brainwashed to believe love is for the "lucky few" and odds are when you find that special someone you're going to have to go through HELL before finding joy and happily ever after. Love which comes easily has little "value".

      In fact it is the absence of "drama" and "uncertainty" that makes some people feel as if they are NOT in love!

      For such people having a partner who is loving, considerate, kind, reliable, dependable, and loyal bores the crap out of them!

      They want to ride the roller coaster!

      In fact many people believe the best "love stories" are between couples who meet, fight, breakup, and eventually get back together. Some women will admit they prefer "bad boys".

      You could stick that type of woman in a room with five guys and have four of them drop to their knees extending their heart towards her while the 5th guy sits in a corner sipping a cocktail acting as if she does not exist.

      That will be the guy she wants to get to know!

      He's a "mystery", a "challenge", and she needs to prove to herself that she draw his attention. If she learns other women like him it makes his stock rise even higher. Nothing like competition to make a woman go all out to make other women envious.

      Generally speaking it's not until these women have experienced several heartaches and betrayals that they decide to give a "nice guy" a chance. This is a "practical decision" and not one made from the heart. They've loved to "date smarter" but the passion and emotional investment will never be given to the "nice guy" she has chosen to "settle down" with.

      The big lie is that love is "hard to find".

      Go to any public place, mall, movie theatre, park, beach, grocery store, church or wherever and you will see people of all types, colors, shapes, and sizes who "somehow" find a mate or spouse. Miraculous? No!

      Truth be told some fall in love and get married multiple times!

      In a world with over 7 Billion people are odds are there are more than a few who have the traits you want in a mate.

      We make finding love difficult because it's the romantic thing to do.

      We ignore the reality of the billions of couples and convince ourselves that love is in scarcity and only a "few people" are lucky to find love.

      Another factor is many of us have unrealistic expectations and expect to attract someone who is out of league. Lets face it if a guy looks like Danny DeVito he's not likely going to get a girlfriend who looks like Charlize Theron! Water seeks it's own level.

      In order for some people to (feel loved) they need to see others jump through hoops for them. "If you love me YOU will change."

      Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

      The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.


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