How to Feel Appreciated For Your Hard Work As a Homemaker
Article and photos by Rain San Martin
If you feel that the years spent together as a family were not acknowledged, occasionally reflect on the little moments you did share. Often it's not the milestone days we reflect on such as birthdays, graduations or holiday celebrations but the simple magical moments of our daily lives. Some examples include:
- The family sharing hot chocolate during the fall and winter seasons.
- Words of affirmation received by your husband that you may have forgotten.
- Romantic dates with your spouse.
- The way your husband enjoys resting on his favorite chair and his gratitude upon receiving a warm mug of coffee.
- The sound of your daughter giggling as she plays Barbies with her friends.
- Your sons arms wrapped around your shoulders during "snuggle time".
- The contentment you felt watching your children relax with their favorite cartoons and after school snack.
You observed these happy moments, which you can attest were true. Pray that God will help your loved ones to remember those simple times even if they speak harshly to you about past mistakes.
"Love..It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." (-1 Corinthians 13:5")
Encouragement for the Homemaker Who Feels Unappreciated
You may be experiencing hurt because you feel your role as a wife, mother or homemaker was unappreciated. Though it may have not been expressed by others, know in your heart that you have obeyed God's command that a wife be a "keeper of the home." No person can carry out these rolls perfectly, it is your commitment and devotion to serve your family in this way that matters most.
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Titus 2:5)
Work As Though Unto the Lord
Each day as we perform our daily work, do not partake of the bread of idleness. Work with diligent hands so that when you lye down at night your sleep is sweet and restful. Let your work be a testimony of faithfulness as you serve your household. Let not the harsh words of others break your resolve to work with all of your heart, strength and mind. Your steadfastness will serve as a model of hope for other homemakers who need inspiration to continue on their journey. "Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men" (-Colossians 3:23)
Nothing is more important than our personal relationship with God. “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” (-Luke 10:27)
See Your Life Through the Prism of Heaven
In heaven the hard and sad times will be forgotten yet all that is noble and true will go on. I believe God will preserve our memories and run them through the filter of holy eternity. Where all the sin and pain will be strained out leaving only the golden moments of life. Life is so much more than the present moment. If we choose we can return again to those times in life which brought joy and wonder. Just as we may have a favorite geographical place to return to, our memories can be a "place" to which we return. Fill your mason jar of memories with glowing shared moments.
Have a memory storming session where you gather all the uplifting words of affirmation you can collect from your children and spouse.
Example of praise from spouse:
"Thank you for handling the finances and paperwork so I can relax when I come home."
- Collect any memory praising your talents, character, work or appearance and place into a happiness journal.
Example of praise from children:
- "You make the worlds best pancakes"
If you can not recall any words of praise, may the Lord be your sole comfort! Think of words of encouragement that you may have heard from a past teacher, friend or employer. Write these down and place them into a happiness journal.
What to Do When You Feel Unappreciated as a Homemaker
Store Up Treasures in Heaven
For those who love the Lord broken relationships will be restored completely in Heaven. Fellowship and perfect contentment will be known continually. Hurtful words, disrespect and estrangement will be thrown into the fire of forgetting, leaving only the eternal golden moments. Think upon those things which are wholesome, and full of life. Endure the trials with long-suffering, responding as Jesus Christ would and you will store up treasures in Heaven.
Do Not Sin in Your Anger or Disappointment
If you have sinned in your anger or disappointment repent and harm no more. Think of your witness and example as you live out your days moment by moment. Strive for excellence and virtue in all in all you do. Know that whatever your facing "This too shall pass". Journey onward through the desert of hard times and keep your eye on the oasis found in green pastures ahead.
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. (-Psalm 23)
Your Golden Memories Will Live Ever Onward Into Eternity
God himself observed all of those special times you helped your children to build Lincoln Log Cabins, make edible pudding cup crafts and build snowmen. He also saw the efforts you put into packing your husbands lunch with faithfulness, preparing your home as a haven for his return from work and lifting him up to others as you unconditionally treat him with respect. Your creator knows that those moments you shared during summer family barbeques, festive walks through Christmas tree lots and the sharing of meals will continue on through eternity. For we are more than this present moment. Golden moments will live onward, as a star is placed in the heavens.
© 2014 Rain San Martin