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Why I can't stop loving men.... as bad as they are for my health.

Updated on January 2, 2012

I'll admit I have a thing for the male gender. You are hot. You are smart. You are strong. Need I say more? OK, I will if you ask me to.

Ever since my older brother brought home a friend at the early age of what, five?, I've been hooked on the male species. Yes, I kid you not. I saw my brother's friends, and as far back as I can remember, I blushed with immediate infatuation. Hence, the love addict is born.

I'll never forget the reaction I had to each of my brother's companions. There was Mark: the dark-haired, stoner dude with Vans and short shorts who walked into our house, and I fell off my chair. Well, not technically, but you could have blown me over with a breath. I doubt Mark ever even noticed me then. I wonder what he'd say if he saw me now?

Then there was Mike, the tall, skinny, nerdy guy with glasses and a huge Adam's apple. He helped my brother make a paper mache shark for a school project, but man, I felt a sweat coming on when he entered our house. Looking back, I wonder if I'd still be attracted? Well, if he could say a bunch of high-tech jargon and look very serious about it, I'd probably swoon in an instant.

So, this is my "ode" to men around the globe. You make my life complete (or will, some day, if I meet the right one). I could be bitter and blame men for using me for sex, pumping up their egos, or just passing time for their own entertainment, but hey, I was having fun, too, for most of it. With that said, here is my tribute to all the qualities that draw me to this beastly creature known appropriately as "man":

You are so beautiful to me

When I look at men, and see the rippling muscles, harsh curves, and hard features, it screams: I'm tough, and take me as I am! No, you don't compare to the silhouette of beautifully shaped women, but I would rather run my hands over the hard bumps of your loins any day.

There are good men in this world

Unfortunately, they have all been scooped up by other, more crafty women than me. I know that some men can be faithful, honorable, good fathers who stand up for what is right, but most of them have a ring on their fingers, or rebound with the woman who snaps them up a day after they break up with their significant other. Boo.

They can rock my world

"It's not the size of the boat; it's the wake that it leaves." I've been "waked" by smaller boats, and let me tell you, size doesn't matter as much as how you make a woman feel. "Skills" depend on a man's willingness to learn about how women tick, how much they want to please them, and a limitless ability to have patience and compassion to a woman's every need. Thank you, "sandwich guy," for showing me what paradise really means.

You make me laugh

Did I mention that guys are funny as heck sans the cattiness of women? Well, now I did. I love to laugh, and some guys just have a way of making me laugh so hard that I have to sit down and hold my belly because I laugh so hard, I might fall over. By the way, that is sexy.

You need me (or, us women)

I may be approached by countless men who are in commitments, but it still makes my day to know that they are attracted to me, a woman, the female species. I like the idea that we were made to complete each other, that our anatomy fits perfectly into each other, and we are the Ying and Yang that compliments what the other lacks. Well, at least some day, when I meet my "soul mate" .... if there is such a thing.

I need you

Yes, I said it. I don't want to go through life telling myself that "I'm okay on my own." I'm not, really. I miss companionship. I miss intimacy. I want someone to hold my hand while I tell him my day's events. I need someone who will tell me like it is, and nudge me further in life. I want to kiss endlessly. I need to hold someone, just because he's there, and never let go-- at least symbolically. *Sigh* Some day, I will have the man who fits me like a glove. I can wait, impatiently, but I will do so nonetheless.

Thank you to all the men who walk the Earth. You have no idea how desirable you really are. But I'm here to let you know that I'm watching and waiting... always ready to pounce on the right one who might come along. Maybe some day, I'll be lucky enough to meet the "good man" who is freshly out of a relationship with no intention of going back. After the first week, my chances of snatching him up diminish like the quality of eggs for a woman over 35. If not, I'll just sit and wait for the next guy who drops by to do a project around the house. Did I mention the hot appliance repairman who fixed my washing machine lately? I think my dishwasher will soon be on the fritz. Hubba, hubba. Appropriate for a "Hub," no?

What do you love most about men?

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