Why I Love The Man Who Left Me
Before you hate someone for leaving you...
I was in a relationship for 3 years with the "love of my life". We spent almost all of our time together until I went off to college 2 hours away. He stayed at home and we began distrusting each other. Eventually, our whole relationship went down the toilet.
It didn't happen over night as some people think it does. It was a slow downhill slope that progressed until we realized that we had a problem that just wasn't fixable anymore. He was 21 and I was only 19 at the time of the break-up, so he started going out with his friends more (and other girls) and I just sat alone and cried for weeks on end. I begged him to come back to me and I told him we could fix things, but he just wasn't interested anymore. He told me that we weren't good for each other and that I brought out the worst in him. He wasn't lying. We brought out the worst in each other, but it didn't change the fact that I would have given up my right arm to be with him at the time.
We spent a year "apart" and during this time we had both seen other people, but we still communicated with each other and hung out some. I still did anything I could for him; whenever he needed something he knew he could call me, and he still does. I still love him, he knows this. I know a part of me will always love him, but I'm not the same insecure girl that would have once given up her right arm for my love to be requited. I'm not sure if he loves me anymore or if he just takes advantage of my kind heart, but I happily allow him to do so.
So why do I still love him? Because the happiest 3 years of my life (thus far) were spent with him by my side. Albeit, I was young when our love first began, but I knew that this was something I had not felt before. I had never felt more secure and wanted in all of my life and I have yet to feel that way again and its been over a year since I last called him "my boyfriend." I realized that I love being in love. I love having someone to call at night just to hear them say something in their sleepy voice. I love trying to steal a glance at him and catching him already looking at me. I just love all the things you get from a relationship with someone who truly loves you and thats what we had: Love.
You're probably still asking yourself why does this girl still love him? Because spending a year apart was the best thing he could have made me do. It wasn't my choice, but I knew it had to be done. Almost exactly 365 days apart allowed me to figure out who I was; I turned 20 and it was like my teenage years and tendencies were all behind me. I knew who I was, what I wanted, and what I was and was not willing to put up with. I don't give credit to my aging, I give the credit to him. Our relationship ended because we were immature and didn't know how to handle situations like adults would. This is now a skill I posses, because I was on my own. I didn't have someone to pick a fight with when I had a bad day, or someone to call crying when I was feeling sorry for myself. I learned to dust myself off and get back up and punch life right in the kisser.
So I love him not only because at one time he used to love me, but because he gave me the strength I didn't know I needed. I thought one of the hardest things I used to have to do was get over break-ups (LOL), now I laugh when guys try to hit on me. I blow them off when they act immature and I don't have a problem saying NO to anyone. Yes, there are people who judge me for still being good to this guy, but that's my own prerogative. Without his leaving, I would probably still be extremely insecure and immature.
So thank you, thank you so much for breaking my heart, because now it has healed and baby that scar tissue is STRONG.
Love Them for Leaving
So ladies, you might not think they did you a favor, but I'm sure if you dig real deep you can find something. You may have gotten a new job, because then you weren't afraid to leave home. You might have gotten closer to your family members or friends (like I did.) Or how about you just simply didn't give a crap about things that didn't matter anymore?
Be thankful, grateful even, that someone let you be you and figure out what exactly it is that you needed.