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Why It Is Not Working Out?

Updated on May 18, 2019
Sahar Malik profile image

Sarah is an experienced creative writer and a motivational guide. She is a business graduate from Bahauddin Zakariya University.

Dealing with toxic relationships is hard but not impossible!

You feel whacked, destroyed and helpless in the utter darkness of despair, you just want to make it work no matter if it takes your entire life full of useless struggle. You want him or just no one else. You've spent several nights crying, begging God to make it work, complaining with that trenchant pain in your heart that even your bones cringe out of that affliction. But you know what? You're not alone going through this right now. Yes! It is NOT only you and It is NOT always you!

You must now wanna know that why is it not working out for you while there are millions of girls chilling out their with their partners, posting their happy relationship photos and leading a peaceful life. But you are the one who feels all alone in her struggle to save your relationship with that one guy who responds like a motionless wall to all your love and emotions. How would he listen to you? When would he understand? How will he be all yours without any fear of him leaving you?

Let me answer them all one by one:

How would he listen to you?

I am not of the opinion like all men are trash or cheaters. Men, who love truly do exist. But why he does not listen to you may entail any of the following cases:

  • He feels the same way about you: Men also need appreciation and understanding from their better halves. Ask yourself, are you giving him all the respect, love, appreciation that he needs? Do you ever try to understand his viewpoint? If not, you must work on this in the first place.
  • You're always complaining: Complaining about the stuff that hurts you is your right. But there's always a suitable way to do everything. Men are usually allergic to complains. Always try to communicate your concerns in a positive and productive manner when he's all ears to you instead of shouting or not talking to him at all out of anger.
  • He's not into you as much as you are into him: This may sound heartbreaking but if you're sure about the above two points and fully convinced that you are giving your best then it is the time to concede that you two are just not for each other. Holding on and struggling will only exacerbate the pain.

When Would He Understand?

It seem like he just cannot understand how you feel about something. He fights over things that seem trivial to you and you fight over the things that are pointless for him. There is a huge gap between the two of you of just Not Understanding that what stings the other person so hard.

Fights are a part of every relationship. There does not exist any fairy tale in real life of absolutely happy ending. Even if they occur very often, it is all okay! But, as long as you do not feel alone in all the fuss created after it. You know deep in your heart that it is not only you who feel distressed by the distance that the argument has brought in between the both of you.

But what if these fights have taken you to the verge of mental breakdown but you still are sure about the purity of love that your partner keeps for you? In this case, all you need is some space and time. This will let both of you to ponder over the reasons of disagreement and capacity to compromise.

How will he be all yours?

You might have heard it before that "The only man who can be kept is the one who wants to stay" and there is nothing truer than this.

If you feel like he's gonna leave you for someone better or he can be easily lost over trifle things then I'm sorry but you are running after the wrong man!

But listen! this is not the end, there is surely someone perfectly made for you is looking for you out there. Don't complain, don't ruin yourself over something that is not even yours. And if you feel betrayed, then remember that Karma is not a myth. It's real and it happens whether you see it happening or not. You're positive energy is gonna come back to you soon. A time will come when you'll look back and wonder that why have you been so ungrateful to your life. Be patient and thankful. That's the key to a better life.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      5 weeks ago

      "You must now wanna know that why is it not working out for you while there are millions of girls chilling out their with their partners, posting their happy relationship photos and leading a peaceful life." I wouldn't put much credence in "happy photos".

      Every married couples looks "happy" on their wedding day!

      And yet the divorce rate is hovering near 50% in the U.S. Most couples are not living a life filled with sunshine and rainbows.

      Happiness is not "a way of life" it's simply fleeting moments which sporadically appear from time to time. Secondly what makes one person "happy" would be considered "settling" for another person.

      There is no amount of "work' or "communication" which can overcome being with someone who does not want what you want.

      Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine!

      The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us has our own mate selection process/must haves list.

      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".

      If you're having one bad relationship after another it's probably time to reexamine your mate selection process. The only thing all of your failed relationships have in common is (you).

      There are three basic reasons why couples split

      1. They chose the wrong mate. (They are too incompatible.)

      2. A "deal breaker" was committed in the eyes of one of them.

      3. They fell out of love/stopped wanting the same things.

      There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships. We either get what we want or we learn to be happy with what we have. Accept them (as is) or move on.

      The choice is up to us. Suffering is optional.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

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