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Why Making A List Like This Can Help You Decide Whether You Should Break-up Or Stay Together

Updated on June 30, 2008

When your relationship is going through tough times, the question ..."should I stay with my partner or just breakup with him/her?" may pop in your mind. Depending on the circumstances in your relationship, you may be leaning towards breaking up.

When you're going through very difficult times, you may want to try making a list of Pros & Cons.

Here's what you do:

Draw a line down the middle of the page. On the left side of the page write the word PROS in all capital letters then underline it. Then skip a line and answer the following questions:

  • What are the things that you appreciate in your partner? What are you grateful for?

  • What do you like/love about him/her? Do you like his/her smile personality, positive spirit, etc?

Then after making your list of pro's, write the word CONS on the on the right side of the page in all capital letters, then underline it. Then skip a line and answer the following questions:

  • What are the biggest problems that you believe your partner has? Does he/she always seem to argue too much? Does he/she not spend enough quality time with you?

  • What do you dislike about him/her? Does he/she have a rude personality, make you feel bad (very judgmental), or does not communicate with you the way that you would like?

After making this list, determine which side of the list outweighs the other. If you're noticing that you're coming up with much more cons or problems than pros, you most definitely should discuss it with your partner and see if he/she is willing to change. If there's no change, you may want to consider a breakup. However if the pros outweigh the cons on your list, you should definitely stay with your partner....but you should also discuss the cons with him/her, and work on a change...and improving your relationship.


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    • loveguru23 profile image

      Daniel Amis 7 years ago from Queens, NY

      Thank you for your comment Morgan. I truly appreciate it.

    • profile image

      Morgan 7 years ago

      really good advice. really like it!