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Why Men Are Reluctant to Marry High-Earning Career Women

Updated on January 6, 2017

Why Men Rarely MarryCareer Women

Career women can be broadly classified as women who have acquired higher education and are doing high profile jobs. A typical career girl is well-educated, ambitious, informed and engaged. There is no doubt that education is necessary for women. Some women have excelled in academia and the professional sphere. Some women are very brilliant and when educated could contribute immensely to the development of their respective countries. But, while all these high-achieving women thought they were earning their own freedom, they have actually created marital problem for themselves because men don’t want successful women.

An English author, John Ruskin wrote, “We are foolish and without excuse foolish and in speaking of the superiority of one sex to the other, as if they could be compared in similar things. Each has what the other has not, each completes the other; they are nothing alike; and the happiness and perfection of both depend on each asking and receiving from the other what the other only can give.”

It is surprising that female empowerment is killing romance because men are reluctant to marry career women. We still have freedom of association so a man can marry who he wants! Multifarious reasons were given by some men for that discussion. Some are of the opinion that they are too artificial and sophisticated for their liking.

Michael Noer, a staff of Forbes, in “Don’t Marry Career Women” wrote, “If a host of studies are to be believed, marrying these women is asking for trouble. If they quit their jobs and stay home with the kids, they will be unhappy ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2003). They will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Social Forces, 2006). You will be unhappy if they make more money than you do ( Journal of Marriage and Family, 2001). You will be more likely to fall ill ( American Journal of Sociology). Even your house will be dirtier ( Institute for Social Research).”

A research team in US National Institute of Health in a 10-year study stated that men who marry university-educated women are more prone to have heart attacks than those married to less educated women. The reason they gave was that this often arose from sympathy for their wives’ troubles at work and being unable to help.

Rose complained, “Many men flock around women who earn more than them, have cars, or houses just to collect their money but would not want to marry them. That is why you see many high earning career women not married. It is so till date that is why some women are afraid to buy cars if their partners don’t have one for fear their men will abandon them. A friend of mine was abandoned because she had a car and her suitor had none. The man felt intimidated. More so, some people fear that women like that may not be good home makers because they will be too work-obsessed or tightly wound pursuing their careers and money with little time for the man and the children.”

Well the answer some men I spoke to varies with the perception of individual men.

Vincent said, “There may be men out there afraid of women who are financially successful than them, but it is not all men that are like that. Many men do not care about a woman’s money when it comes to relationships or marriage. So ladies should be free to be who they are or declare what they are worth.”

“Many men are jealous and insecure by nature. Men are indeed intimidated by women with higher earning power. A man who doesn’t marry a career woman is simply jealous of her. It’s a man who does not want a woman to succeed so that he can always be above her. This is so stupid and childish,” Juliet, a banker said.

“Career women should stay away from men with low self-esteem and date the more secure type of man who is confident enough in himself to treat a woman properly and not feel threatened by her status and be supportive instead,” Paulina said.

Felix, a businessman said, “My wife had a successful career but we have collectively decided that it is better for her to stay at home and take care of the children while I take on the responsibility of working and paying the bills. I do not believe that it makes my wife in anyway subservient to me by doing domestic work because we are complementing each other to build a solid home.”

Alex, a lawyer said, “I have no problem with a woman’s earning power what matter is my love for the woman in question. Our emotional lives are much more important than the things we have or don’t have. This is the modern age. Things are changing and men are now even getting more attracted to women with high earning power than those who are jobless. The gap of earning power between women and men is closing and in the next generation more women will the breadwinners. I want a career woman who can take care of not only herself but who can support the home. This is not the age where you expect a woman to kneel to give you food, answer you yes sir because you provide everything. It is even a thing of pride to be married to a successful woman. A woman’s earning power has nothing to do with her character. It is not all high earning women that are disrespectful of their men. A woman who is arrogant even without money will still be arrogant and rude.

Ikenna, a businessman said “When he was single, he wouldn’t have gone for women with high earning power because naturally men are supposed to be breadwinners and head of the family; that is what our culture and the holy books say. A woman who earns more than the husband will be domineering and most men will not be comfortable with the situation. He narrated a story of one of his friends who was slapped by his girlfriend over a minor issue because she did a high paying job and the man earned less. The planned marriage was aborted after she slapped him.

Men should marry career women however, because apart that they may be some trouble, they contribute financially toward the upkeep of the home. Marriage takes effort and commitment. You have to become encouragers to each other. You should be excited about your partner’s successes. Children are comforted by the security of knowing their parents are committed to each other. Dion Fortune wrote, “If we have been wrongly dealt with by some people we should not hold that person responsible and ourselves blameless, but should condemn ourselves for having been foolish enough to trust them or having lacked the courage to resist them.”

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    • Chuksm profile image
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      Anthony Modungwo 20 months ago from Benin

      dashingscorpio thanks for your comment. Who pays the piper detect the tone, so hence most men resist control from their spouses they tend to avoid women high-powered jobs that equally attracts high pay. Some men don't care, but in most of those relationships, it does not lead to 'till-death-do-us-part' relationship. Oprah Winfrey never married the man she had dated for many years.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 20 months ago

      Everyone has their "type" of woman or man they want.

      Some women have a hard time dating men who earn far less money than themselves. Most men for the are far more interested in a woman's physical attributes, personality, sense of humor, and affection.

      Lonely women who blame their "success" for (intimidating men) are often misguided. Halle Berry, Madonna, Oprah Winfrey, Jennifer Lopez are all (super successful) women and they never seem to have problems finding men to date. Their men generally earn a lot less than them!

      Too often career women make the mistake of thinking that men and women are drawn to the same traits. A woman may say:

      "I have my own business, earn a six figure salary, own my own home, and drive a Mercedes 600SL."

      Well that's all well and good if you're looking for a (wife) or (girlfriend)! Majority of men aren't looking for "financial security" in chosing a mate.

      A "hot looking" restaurant hostess will draw more men than a "plain Jane" attorney. Most men don't marry women based upon their income.

      It's unlikely that will ever change.

      Beauty, personality, intelligence, and sense of humor trumps career success.

    • Chuksm profile image
      Author

      Anthony Modungwo 3 years ago from Benin

      You are entitled to your view, but your view would have been better understood if you stated your reason/s.

    • profile image

      Anonymous 3 years ago

      men shouldn't marry ANY women....not just CAREER women!