- Gender and Relationships
Why do Men Flirt
It happened all innocently enough. I was going to log in on Facebookwhen I saw my boyfriend's login come up. Well since he did not log out what is the harm in taking a sneak peek? Looking around I found a few disturbing things. Number one, he listed his interests as women, number two he has mostly women as his Facebook friends. is he trying to start a harem here? Number three he was flirting with these women! He was leaving messages for women say that they looked really good. Blah! I nearly choked on my drink. This is my honey? My sweetie who was saying complimentary things to other women? Gnawing at the bit I confronted him. Summoning all my powers of PMS I calmly and rationally explained to him why this is not good. and how it made me feel and why it is hurtful to our relationship. OK so explained the last few things to the wall because he left the room mumbling something like "This is what you get for snooping around."..true... but it doesn't answer my question. What does he get out of it? What is he after? Why do men flirt?
Signs He is Flirting
- Fiddle with a tie, play with buttons, collars or sleeves;
- Smooth their hair;
- Stick their fingers inside a belt;
- Rub or pull on an earlobe.
I realize I am not the first to ask this question. Many women before me have asked and asked. My most educated guess in the reason that men flirts is because they have a need for attention from women. Is his ego that big? I had not thought, but maybe I need to take a closer look. After reviewing his facebook profile it would seem he invited other women to be his friends. How do I ascertain this? 1) He put women down as an interest, and 2) he took off his shirt when he posed for the picture so every one could see his his tattoo. Well he said everyone but now I know that the Women can see his tattoo. He initiated a lot of the contacts too of course. Most of the contacts were lighthearted just asking to play those silly time wasting games. But a couple were out and out flirtatious comments. They didn't really answer back. Maybe just a thank you.. What was he hoping for?
More on signs that he is flirting
Theories on Why Men Flirt
There are two types of flirting, Intentional and unintentional. An Unintentional flirt is when you might inadvertently catch a glimpse of someone's eye and give a quick smile. an intentional flirt is usually verbal. Flirting to some can be a game and an acceptable social outlet. Flirting also can open a door to maybes. Flirting can make suggestions and one thing then can lead to another. Does a man know when to not cross the line? Does my man know? Has he crossed the line? Would he act on his flirtation?
Maybe he likes the idea of someone else being attracted to him. Maybe he just keeps it friendly so he can still feed his "manly" self esteem. Is flirting a part of him that he would be miserable with if he were asked to suppress the urge? can I live with him flirting with other women in cyberspace or in life?
Is her flirting because he is unhappy in his relationship with me? Am I not fulfilling some obvious need?
Or does he feel the need to get one over on his lady? What she doesn't know won't hurt her? Until he's caught at least. I can relate to the "get one over theory" as I write this hub about his actions unbeknown-st to him. Most likely he will never know because he is too involved in his facebook life.
My final theory on why men flirt is that they want what they can't have. Men just put it all out there with little regard to how it looks to others. They make an obvious attempt to gain the attention of an attractive lady. Sometimes it works, Sometimes it doesn't.
There are studies that support flirting is healthy for you. Studies have found people who flirt have a higher white blood count that boost immunity and your health. There are as many as 52 flirting signals you can give each other. It is not longer just a bat of the eye. If you were to place two people of a different culture in the same room who were attracted to each other both would use the same signals including arching the eyes, and smiling. The hair flip is the number one flirtation signal. Some people have noted while flirting you have nearly 30 seconds to make some kind of connection. Technology has advanced our methods of flirting.. 40 % of people who say they are looking for love on line flirt with people via email or IM. Interestingly enough this is most successful for the man as it gives him time to think before he acts. He has to actively think about what he is writing. Many people send suggestive text messages or picture mail via their cell phone. Despite our advances, Flirting is illegal in Little Rock Arkansas One can be locked up for thirty days. In New York a man can be fined 25.00 for looking suggestively at a female.
For the ladies...
Does your guy flirt with other women?
Flirting while intentional or unintentional does not have to be the end of a relationship. It is somewhat human nature to flirt with someone you are attracted to and who you have interaction with. Men will flirt that is a fact.What about my boyfriend? Well, time will truly tell. Only the good ones will know where to draw the line.
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