- Gender and Relationships
Why Men are Like Cheeseburgers
A concept is born
While talking with a female friend who was dealing with the difficulties of walking away from a relationship she knows is not working, I came up with an analogy I like, and I believe is quite accurate. So, I thought I would share it. I am sure this applies just as easily if the sexes were reversed, or matching for that matter...but "Why relationships are like meals" just did not sound as catchy.
A popular restaurant advertises a new burger. Their claim is that it is the best burger ever in the whole world, and that anybody would agree with that. It is definitely a good looking burger, much fancier than their others, and it costs a bit more, not to mention all the time you put into waiting for the burger. On first glance it has everything you are looking for (and please be creative if your burger tastes are different than mine) mayonnaise, tomato, bacon, real cheddar cheese, avocado; the bun has those annoying sesame things on it, but certainly these can be overlooked for what otherwise so far seems perfect.
The Scene Around You
As you sit down and begin to eat, you notice that many other diners are have ordered the same burger, some are enjoying it, others take one bite and throw it out, and still others grimace their way through eating it. You decide, however, that you know yourself well enough to not pick a burger you would hate--and everyone has different tastes. You sit down, make yourself comfortable, and take a huge bite of the burger, ready to make it your new all time favorite.
The Truth About the Burger
As you begin to chew, you don't like what you taste. Its not repulsive, but there is a pickle lurking in there (gross! you must have been too blinded by visions of bacon to see pickle listed in the ingredients!) And, though the ingredients all have the potential to be great, they aren't--the guacamole tastes like the kind you buy frozen, the cheese is barely discernible, the bacon is under-cooked, and the meat patty is mediocre. And then there are the sesame seeds on the bun, the ones you thought were trivial. They are stuck in your teeth!
The Standard Response
Now, here is where many of us have a problem. Instead of putting down the burger and going and ordering something else or going elsewhere, we proceed to eat that burger. We convince ourselves that we can't taste the pickle juice left behind after removing the pickle, and that the other ingredients aren't terrible when it comes down to it, just not as good as expected. After all, you're hungry, and someone should eat it, so it might as well be you. And there is also that voice in the back of your head, telling you that maybe you are just being too picky, or your expectations have been set too high.
The Final Say on the Burger
Now here is my question...after giving the burger a chance, and making do, would you go back on a regular basis and order that same burger? Would you make that the only burger you ever eat? Would you not even think of eating other burgers because what if they were even worse? Or what if you couldn't get anything else? What if that may be the only burger you were ever able to have again for some reason? NO! You wouldn't, or at least the majority of us wouldn't.
The point of all this is, women, please stop eating the crappy burger. Someone else will eat it, it will not go to waste, somebody will want those nasty pickles and likes their meat cooked well done. Or, maybe, that burger just doesn't deserve to be eaten, and that is not your problem!
Maybe you will never eat another burger again. But, is that really worse than spending every day of your life eating something that makes you miserable?
So, as women, why do we refuse to handle our relationships the same way?
Unlike that cheeseburger that we eat once and realize is not for us--mind you it may be a perfectly viable option for someone else, even their perfect burger--with men it seems perfectly logical to stick with it. We use excuses to do so that we would never use with a burger, or with just about anything else in our lives.
I, for one, would never continue to purchase a burger I didn't like because I thought maybe something was wrong with my taste buds, or because some restaurant said it was this wonderful thing so maybe I needed to just stick with it, or because I saw other people enjoying it, or because my friend thought it must be the perfect burger for me...and so on. And yet I cannot tell you how many times I have used the same justifications and more when sticking with a guy that does not meet my needs. Even sticking with a man that, if he were a burger, I would have spit out immediately. Would have refused to pay, and complained.