Why Nice Guys Fail with Women
Why Nice Guys Get Rejected
I would like to preface this article by stating that not all nice men finish last, but one would be justified in saying the majority of men do. When it comes to understanding women, knowledge is power, just a bit of information can go a long way.
Especially when you're approaching or meeting a woman for the first time, it could be a list of small things that will diminish your chances to build attraction and chemistry. Understanding why "nice" is not an effective tool when first meeting a woman is step one.
Why Nice Guys Stay Single
I have a lot of male friends that tell me "There's this girl I like, she's perfect for me, but we're just friends. She and I are great friends. But she says she's not attracted to me". Have you ever wondered why?
- Generally, the most attractive and worthwhile women seem to be drawn to men who don't treat them very well at all?
- That when you do your best to please a girl and try to make her happy, she seems even more put off?
You must wonder from time to time, "what in the world is happening here"? Yes, your Mother did tell you to treat a woman well, but men have to realize that times and customs change, and so do taste and preferences. Kindness doesn't work in most cases with attractive women, cause plain and simple they've had attention all their lives.
They've had a stampede of approval seeking men their entire lives. When you get lavished with kindness and attention your whole life, it will inevitably become less valuable to you. For example, you've eaten oranges your entire life, never did a day go by when you were deprived of an orange. Would you go out of your way to seek out more oranges? No, you'd be sick of them.
Attractive women in this modern age do not respond to basic and obvious acts/intent of kindness. They're not attracted to it, and I personally would not blame them. Only when you change your understanding of what women want, and why they want it, can you change your own behavior to catch up to the evolution of women.
It won't be easy to change your behavior, it's only human to get into a habit and build a routine physically and mentally. But we are very capable of individual change, where there's a will, you'll find a way.
In the Friend Zone Much?
Is there a special lady in your life that considers you just a friend?
Why are Guys Nice to Attractive Women
When a woman is attracted to a man, really attracted I mean, minus the variables of height, good looks, money, or being born Brad Pitt..they aren't in control. Think about it, when you're in love, did you really make any deep logical decisions to do so? Did you weigh the pros and cons? Of course not, and women too, fall for men with little control over it.
By virtue of that fact, they are on the same playing field as far as attraction preference goes. Keep in mind we're talking about romantic attraction, a genuine interest in the person. Regardless of the physical, there's a better chance of making a woman feel attraction towards you, simply by developing a better personality.
What we're not including is the crowd that wants to date a pretty face and has no genuine interest or care. Women make their decision about us within the first 5 minutes of a meeting, sometimes even less.This is one of those times, first impressions are paramount. An attractive looking gal has had droves of interested men to spar with--you have to be different to stand out.
They know the games and they know the routines, they've been to the puppet show, and they've seen the strings. That being said, when you first make contact with a girl, you have to make an impression, one thing to shoot for is, be different, be charming in an original way. Remember that women aren't in control of who they will become attracted to, you can sway her in the right direction, with the right social tools.
Why Women Reject Nice Guys
It's really not all that difficult, although if you're overly shy, awkward, or socially inept in some way, you might want to address that, before thinking about interacting with women successfully.
Sorry If I'm blunt, but I do not believe in sugar coating things. However, if you're a normal guy, I truly believe you can tweak your behavior just a bit and it will make all the difference in the world. A good rule of thumb is, treat them like a person, not just a vessel you can procreate with.
But do not be overly nice, they've been spoiled by nice. I'm in no way telling you to be mean, cruel or disrespectful in any way. Women want to know that a guy can be different, can be original, is not carbon copy responder she's always experienced. The easiest way to be charming is to use observational humor. Something comical about the day, environment, anything going around in your immediate surroundings.
Nothing vulgar, just humor that anyone can laugh about and appreciate. The only way to get better at interacting with women is to practice. Learning to be successful with women takes work, and be committed enough to put in the effort to improve. I guarantee you, be original, make them laugh and feel comfortable in your presence, and you'll have a better chance at steering clear of the dreaded "friend zone".
How Nice Guys can Finish First
1. Have more Confidence around Women
Confidence is an effortless attitude, and it’s a personal choice one can make. If you experience problems with self-confidence, there's plenty you can do to boost it. The key is to focus on your inner strengths.
Write down your best attributes and the things you good at, to help better visualize what a unique and worthwhile individual you are. Something as a change in wardrobe or even a new haircut will help build your confidence.
2. Be More Assertive with Women
Learn to speak up a little more, be outgoing when it comes to contributing to conversations with friends, family, and in other social settings. Practice makes perfect. Surround yourself with positive people that listen to your opinions and reaffirm that your input counts.
Nice guys are usually very timid about voicing their opinion. This isn't the movies, this real life, you have to learn to stand up and speak for yourself, or women will not notice you. Also, try not to be so apologetic so often, women read that as a sign of weakness.
3. Maintain Composure around Women
Women want men that are in control, men that are in control of themselves and their emotions. Learn to maintain your composure, don't be so quick to express sadness or anger.
Display that you have your emotions in check, and you'll appear to be more in control of yourself. Don't argue with a woman, always calmly express your opinions in a well thought out discussion. Women find calm logical men that control their temper very endearing.
4. Be Respectful with Women
Respecting a woman's space is paramount in showing her you're not clingy or desperate. There aren't many things more off putting to a woman, than a man reeking of desperation.
Learn to lean back a little more, give her the proper amount of time to feel comfortable around you. A woman is attracted to a man that has his own life. Personally, I know I'm more attracted to women that have their own things going on.
5. Don't Seek a Woman's Approval
Women aren't enamored by men who constantly need or seek their approval. Women prefer to be with men that are leaders and are naturally assertive in their actions and opinions. It's okay to agree with a woman, but don't agree with her out of attraction for her.
Most women can sniff out a man that is being less than genuine, even if said man was just trying to be nice. Women hate nice guys that are insecure and continually seek approval. If you found this article useful, please feel free to share it with your friend or social network.