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Why Sex is Important to Women

Updated on May 20, 2009

"Why Sex is Important to Men" Got Me Thinking...

 A large thank you goes out to EverydayMiracles who wrote the fabulous Hub "Why Sex is Important to Men", which got me thinking about my own relationship. See, unlike the frigid woman described in EverydayMiracles' Hub, I am a passionate woman in a marriage with a frigid husband. The media and our friends would all have us believe that men are slobbering sex monsters, who need it twice a day every day darnit! A man's libido is so tied up with his masculinity that even if he does have a low libido, like my husband, he will play along like he wants sex all the time too just to fit in.

I know for a fact my husband isn't the only one out there like this. I've browsed forums and read comments here on Hubpages about women who have discovered that the myth of the male libido is total crap. Just like hair color or fingerprints, everyone's sex drive is different, male or female. It's coming to a compromise that matters.

Big Talk, No Walk

 So we have to assume that at least some of these horny goats are fibbing while snubbing their partners at home. And here's the thing, all that outside pressure to be horny from outside sources can really deflate the mood at home. What man, after pretending like he's horny all day, actually wants to go home and do the deed. Being pressured into doing something leads to an experience that is zero fun at all. I won't pretend to know all the reasons for male low libido, whether physical or emotional or simply natural, but I do know that many men also think that sex should be on their schedule, whether frequently or infrequently. For those men who fall on the more infrequent side I have a plea from warm and welcoming wives everywhere, loosen up and give in! Here are some reasons why.

Who has the biggest sex drive in your house?

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A Physical Connection Promotes Love

 Many women love to be hugged, touched and kissed as signs of affection, and sex is simply the next step. Just like you need to feel respected, a woman needs to feel appreciated. She needs to feel beautiful and loved, no matter how she looks. Need a visual? Try watching "Freida", a movie about the famous artist and her husband Diego Rivera. There is a scene where, before he makes love to her, he looks at the scars on her back from a terrible accident, and huskily moans how beautiful she is, and you can tell he means it. True story too, the man was NOT handsome but he had women by the score because he had an artistic eye for beauty and made women feel gorgeous. Imagine how happy you can make your wife by validating her need for physical connection, affection, and need to feel beautiful by fulfilling her sexual desires.

Women are Givers

 Besides taking pleasure, women are also natural nuturers. They want you to feel proud and fulfilled (in a healthy relationship at least). Often times a woman doesn't want to have sex just to gallop towards the big "O", instead she wants to see the fire in your eyes. She wants to relieve you of the burdens of a heavy day. Set aside your worries and cares, and take a nice mini-vacation in bed with your wife. You'll be amazed at how clear your head and heart feel afterwards.

Physical Benefits of the Big "O"

 As a couple you've hopefully learned each other's moves well enough for all participants to..reach the peak shall we say? Trust me, you want to go to a little effort to get your wife to this place. An orgasm has been found to release endorphins, which are the happy chemicals in your brain. Besides a feeling of happiness endorphins can also help ease ailments such as headaches and the horrifying PMS. Trust me, you'll be doing yourself a favor by taking off your pants.


 Gents, I won't pretend to know what makes you tick...or not. It's beyond me! But whatever the reason is behind your steadfast refusal of your wife's advances, stop and think about if it's really worth it to deny her needs. After all, you don't want to end up hiding in the bathroom while she hunts for you in a black corset screeching "want some cansy little boy". Don't make us crazy, dear husbands, please.


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    • profile image


      5 years ago

      so true love it!

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      Women need sex too! i'm not getting any from my husband and from my end its affecting the relationship i feel ugly, boring, and unloved. He says hes just not "horny". ugh SOOOOO FRUSTRATING!!!!!!

    • lord samuel profile image

      lord samuel 

      7 years ago from NIGERIA

      you are right to some extent but i will disagree with you on the topics:"women are givers".i meant to say NOT ALL women are givers.some are just too stingy with there body that they wont give their partners when he is dying to have it.some women starve their husband with sex.and the man is trying so hard to get across to the woman's worsen matters,she knows,and she's doing it intentionally.ave had opportunity to talk with one of such and her response is this;"if i give always my husband will see me so cheap".so she decided to always starve the man when he is desperately in need of it.too we can't just conclude cos we have so many kinds of reflexes and responses to the need of sex from both male and female,especially in marriage.meanwhile,this is one great write up,i like it.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      shes frigid...his fault

      hes frigid...his fault


    • acaetnna profile image


      7 years ago from Guildford

      Brilliant hub, loved it. A cuddle, kiss and whispering loving words are SO important to a woman, without it is like emotional abuse.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      us blokes get bored quick, if a new woman made a pass as him im sure hed be interested, maybe he's bored of you? try something new.

    • Mamelody profile image


      8 years ago

      interesting hub you got there hun. Some excellent points that every bloke can learn from.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      Have you heard the saying pressure will burst an iron pipe? A sexually aggressive woman will make a man feel pressure to perform, thus creating performance anxiety.

    • medarj profile image


      9 years ago

      great hub, thank you !!

    • one2recognize2 profile image


      9 years ago from New York

      This was a great piece/hub. Share your thoughts and hope the men come along and catch up. :) Thanks Chenny.

    • sukdev profile image


      9 years ago

      Great hub thanks Chenny

    • profile image

      \Brenda Scully 

      9 years ago

      ash well now we know.... well put together,and fascinating to read,,,,

    • N.Q profile image


      9 years ago from Delhi

      Great Work... I also liked the benefits :)

    • metaphysician profile image


      9 years ago

      "want some cansy little boy", just awesome! ;-)

    • XXBAYXXACEXX profile image


      9 years ago

      Hmm got me thinking a little. Not married myself but got close once. I figure if a man is too tired to perform when he gets home, he might be getting action elsewhere. You are right about women being natural nuturers. That's what makes women so beautiful. Thanks for the read and have a good one.


    • CennyWenny profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Washington

      Glad to see you Haunty! You know, it's the hidden scourge of society (hehe hyperbole) but really, I have friends who hide this secret too! It's just less "acceptable" for women to moan about it I think, whereas with men you always hear about the frigid wife. It's out there darnit!

    • Haunty profile image


      9 years ago from Hungary

      This hub feels a bit like you were talking to your husband. :) I hope he got it. Women are givers that's for sure. Man should also be givers. :)

    • CennyWenny profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Washington

      Lgali-Thanks for stopping by! I like the physical benefits too:) Add some chocolate and who needs aspirin?

    • Lgali profile image


      9 years ago

      I love this hub I love the Physical Benefits of the Big "O"

    • CennyWenny profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Washington

      Thanks Morne:)

    • profile image


      9 years ago from in some crazy place

      Love the hub!!


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