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Why Women Allow Abuse

Updated on June 19, 2013

Domestic Violence Statistics

Here a just a few statistics to ponder:

  • Every 9-15 seconds in the United States a woman is assaulted or beaten.
  • At least one in every three women has been beaten worldwide.
  • Every day in the United States, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
  • Most women who have been physically abused by their partners never contact anyone for help.
  • Men who have witnessed domestic violence as a child are twice as likely to abuse their own wives.

Most domestic abuse begins during childhood.
Most domestic abuse begins during childhood. | Source

History and Familiarity

More than likely, women who accept abuse come from dysfunctional families. Some are fatherless. Some are abused by older siblings. Some are mistreated and degraded by their own mothers. Sometimes they are emotionally or mentally abused by an alcoholic or drug addict in the family.

Growing up in an environment such as this proves to be “normal” for those who have experienced it. Even if they have been shown, taught, told, and counseled differently, it is still a familiar way of life for them. Familiarity is more comfortable than the unknown.

Some victims become violent themselves. Many victims have been beaten down so badly, physically and emotionally, that they have very little self esteem. Some even believe they deserve it. Most are codependent. Most don’t leave the abusive relationship out of sheer terror from the threats made by their abuser.

Children continue the type of home life they've been brought up in.  In many cases, one would never know if that home is loving and healthy, or abusive.
Children continue the type of home life they've been brought up in. In many cases, one would never know if that home is loving and healthy, or abusive. | Source

Breaking the Cycle

There are a few ways to break the cycle of violence. If there are children involved, this is the most important thing to do for the sake of future generations.

Many cities have protective shelters. Many women can find friends or family members to help them through the leaving process. It is extremely important to have a safety plan when the abused decides to leave the abuser.

Children MUST understand that violence is not an acceptable behavior. They must be shown by example and not just taught. It is extremely important for a child to grow up in a loving home so that they understand how to have a loving home when they become adults.

Please do not expose your children to the ugliness of domestic violence!

How do I know when I need help?

view quiz statistics

Treatment and Protection

If you find yourself in a situation where domestic violence has become part of your life, or if you know someone in this situation, here are some hotlines that can help you. The people who answer these phones are professionals and will do what they can to provide a safe haven for you to run to.

There are several counseling centers, batter women shelters, and other means to escape the type of behavior you have been subjected to.

The United States National Domestic Violence Hotline is:

1-800-799-SAFE/1-800-799-7233 and 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

As always, in any emergency situation, call 911.

It is also important to recognize that men can be victims of domestic violence and emotional abuse as well. Nobody deserves to endure unwanted touching or to be mistreated by the use of demeaning language.

Thank you for your interest in my writing. I certainly hope the read was helpful and enlightening. I am extremely interested in the opinions of others, so please feel free to share your opinions in the comments section below.

"Be kind to one another" ~ Ellen

God Bless You ~ Margaret Sullivan


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    • cmoneyspinner1tf profile image

      Treathyl FOX 3 years ago from Austin, Texas

      Touchy subject. I see nobody has left a comment so I'll say something.


      That's the reason women don't just get up and leave!

      Fear – of the person that's abusing them. 'Sure it's rough taking a beating. But they never kill me.'

      Uh huh. Some of them think that way right up until the day they die!!!

      Fear – of the unknown. "What will happen if I do leave? Suppose he follow me and kill me out of anger? Can I even make it on my own? It might be a lot worse for me outside in the world trying to take care of myself. At least I'm not begging on the streets or standing on a street corner 'hookin' for my daily meals. So I'm taking a beating but I got a roof over my head, food, sex! That's pretty much all life is on this planet anyway."

      You say some women grow up in an environment like that? Maybe.

      But I say it's a power thang!

      The stronger taking advantage of the weaker.

      The weak person just got to realize their own worth and find their strength within and recognize this is not how life is supposed to be.

      Tina Turner did it!! Lots of women do it. No excuses.

      At least, not in America.

      What? I'm living in a free country where my human rights are supposed to be protected and I have to live in fear of my life everyday?? And quite possibly the lives of innocent children are at risk and in endangered too?

      What kind of life is that?? If I have to live that way, you might as well kill me and get it over with.