- Gender and Relationships
Why Women Are Attracted To Jerks And Not Nice Guys
Nice Guys Don't Have To Finish Last...
I've always wondered this myself. I consider myself a pretty nice guy and I've constantly watched the women I've had feelings for fall for guys that were not worth their time at all. Then I realized that the reason that the jerk got the girl and I didn't was because I was WATCHING it happen.
Most nice guys fall easily into the "friend" category because they genuinely like the woman and they like spending time with her and doing things for her, but rarely express romantic interest out of fear of rejection. to put it plain and simple, nice guys are afraid to take risks. Now here enters this smug, egotistical, flashy jerky guy. He's pretty much not afraid of rejection and confident enough in himself to ask the girl that you have feelings for out on a date. There is the belief that opposites attract and many nice guys attracted to the outgoing, popular young lady because she has traits that he wishes to have.
Too many times us "nice guys" (and I use the term us because I've done this same thing countless times) sit on the sidelines watching other guys, who probably don't have the young lady's best interests at hand, sweep our objects of affection off their feet. I don't believe that the women are generally not attracted to the nice guys, it's just that the nice guys always plays it safe and never seems to think for themselves. In a sense nice guys don't seem to embody the masculine type mate that some women prefer. I believe that many women prefer men to be men in the stereotypical sense. They want their men to be assertive and independent, which most jerks are.
This is not the case for all nice guys, as some women actually prefer the nice guy over the overly assertive guy. The only thing that separates the two is confidence. One can be the nice guy, but he has to have confidence in himself and not be afraid of the consequences that are associated with the risks he may have to take. Sometimes if you take a risk, you may get the result you're looking for, other times you may get the exact opposite of what you want, but A reaction is a whole lot better than no reaction because you failed to act.
So nice guys, you'll continue to finish last unless you step your game up and start taking some risks. Get off the bench and get into the game.