Why Women Don't Eat on Dates
Why Women Don't Eat on Dates and What to do about it!
The Date
Unfortunately, for men, a date actually serves three purposes:
1. The opportunity to at least make-out with a woman at some point.
2. The opportunity to eat and get mildly drunk at a restaurant.
3. The opportunity to spend money on something besides contributing to his local strippers for their “Advanced degree in Bio-chemical engineering”
Men rarely have the opportunity to go to restaurants of the quality they visit when they’re on a date, so it’s a pretty badass scenario that going out with a woman is a fantastic excuse to visit one, and enjoy the cuisine within.
Preparing for the feast!
The Preparation:
Men treat preparation for a date the exact same way, every time:
- Make a stiff drink. Vodka is a little too girly, but whiskey is a man’s-man drink.
- Take a shower with said drink. The expert prep-king can take the entire shower with his drink outside the water spray zone.
- Make another drink. Things are starting to warm up now. Nelly is playing in the background and he might just dance on your date night.
- Get dressed. Do these jeans make my butt look big?…said no man ever.
- Put on way too much cologne. Men’s clothing is basically all the same. As such, they over-compensate by splashing copious amounts of cologne to set them apart from the other 200 men that did the same at the club you are going to. Net result: Bar that smells like Bed Bath and Beyond.
- Commence date. With a slight buzz, freshly manscaped, and a coating on cologne, your man is ready for the festivities.
Let’s Eat!
The issue is, once the date begins, men are super amped up to eat. A date is THE place to have an appetizer, dinner and dessert, with copious amounts of drinks in between.
Unfortunately, when the woman decides she’s “not hungry,” a gigantic monkey wrench is thrown into the whole evening.
Additionally, for some strange reason, “plump” or “big boned” women have a much greater likelihood of not eating. Captain Obvious note: Um, honey, you are pretty large…we KNOW you eat, so belly up to the plate. They give you two forks and it’s apparent you know how to use both! You aren’t fooling anyone!
Decisions, Decisions
Men must look on and decide one of two ways to go:
a. Also order light fare so the woman doesn’t feel awkward.
b. Go all in and continue to feast like he was Adolf Fredrick, the Swedish king who ate himself to death in 1771.
Generally, most men try to show some sense of decorum, and will curb their manly desire for food.
Questions Raised….
The question is, why do women not eat during dates?
The only logical answer is that they don’t want to appear like food starved ladies of the evening who are trying to cash in on the generosity of the man.
Red Flags
Unfortunately, the woman who doesn’t eat while on a date raises red flags for men:
“Will she never eat in my presence?? That means I’ll never get to eat the way that I want!”
“If she doesn’t eat, she definitely can’t cook – does this woman have any experience with food at all?!”
“Great, now after this date I have to hit up Taco Bell, just so I go home somewhat full.”
The idea of a woman not eating to her full potential on a date also makes it appear as though maybe she had gorged herself earlier in the day. Men might think, “was she knee deep in a brunch like it was her damn job earlier today?”. “Maybe I put on too much cologne and my smell is upsetting her stomach?” “Is she on her second date of the day and just got done eating at the King Kong China buffet with some other man?”
Advice
Here is the clear cut advice for all women who believe it is their female duty to lay off the portions on a date:
Eat. Eat something good. Enjoy. Have a drink. Relax. Sure, women don’t have to get the hungry man portion of buffalo wings with extra sauce, but if it’s a burger and fries that floats your boat…or a large chicken caesar salad, go for it.
Men want women who are fun to be around. And there’s nothing more fun for men than gorging themselves until all hours of the evening like they were Bigfoot on a camping expedition.
Conclusion
To the women of the world, we declare: eat!
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This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2020 JJT
