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Why Women Don't Give Their Phone Number Easily

Updated on August 15, 2011

For many men, the purpose of going out and meeting women, has become kind of collecting phone numbers. Because feminine psychology makes it difficult for men to get "same night sex", getting numbers has become the new goal.

However, although I presented this in a bit negative view, getting a girl's number is trully crucial in order to move the interaction forward. Afterall, even if you had a great conversation with a girl, you will probably never see you again if she doesn't give you her number or any other method of communication.

When a woman gives you her number, it's also a good way to measure her levels of attraction and interest towards you.

In this article, I would like to discuss several mistakes that men do when they ask for a woman's phone number, and I will explain how to avoid those mistakes and increase your chances of "success" dramatically.

Mistake #1: Not Creating Enough Attraction

This mistake is very common for a man to do. The reason for this mistake is mainly because men and women have a different attraction mechanism.

While men are mainly attracted to physical looks, and can decide that they like a girl within seconds, for women it usually takes much longer to develop this attraction. This is because women are mainly attracted to masculine behavior (and not looks), and it takes time for a men to convey this masculinity (if he even succeeds).

Therefore, what's important here is to understand, that you need to wait for her to be attracted. I've seen many men approaching women and after seconds asking for her number. It's simply doesn't work that way.

How can you know that she is attracted to you? Well, you should be looking for her signals. If you are talking and you see her smiling, becoming more and more interested in your stories, touching her hair (and even better - touching you), directing her body towards you, etc - these are good signals of attraction.

So until you feel that she is attracted to you. And if you still can't feel if she is or not, at least give it a few minutes (better make it around 10 minutes at least) before you ask for her phone number.

Mistake #2: Not Showing Interest In Her

Another mistake that men do, is trying to act "Macho", and not showing any interest in the girl at all.

Now, there is some good sides in not showing interest in the girl at the beginning of the conversation, but you can't hold your interest for ever.

Think about it - for a girl, it seems strange if a man doesn't seem interested in her, keeps only teasing her and being emotionally cold, and then he asks for her number?!

So, after you feel that she likes you enough, show her that you are also interested. It's best if you can compliment something that she did during the interaction, or something that she told you about herself.

And try not to compliment only her physical looks. Otherwise it seems like you only want to have sex with her, and women tend to resist this.

Mistake #3: Not Creating Basic Comfort

Even if you are funny, interesting and a great guy, it's still not enough. You don't need to tell her every detail about yourself. But you need to make her comfortable. Afterall, she is giving your her number in order to meet you again.

An important step towards this comfort, is by giving her some info about you. Begin with how old you are, where do you live, what do you do in life. This information is boring in the beginning of a conversation.

But after a while, it's should be exchanged (meaning, you should ask her about her basic info too). If you can do it in a funny and interesting way, it's even better.

Mistake #4: Not Telling Why You Want Her Number

Well, the last one is not such a bad mistake, because a woman will usually know why you ask for her number. But yet, women have some anxiety and resistance to give their number to men.

So what I suggest you to do, is no simply to ask for the number. But, first, tell her why you need it.

Why do you need actually? Because you want to meet her again. So tell her that you want to meet her again. You can be even more specific and suggest the type of activity (going out to a cafe? to drink beer? taking a cruise together? :-) ), and even more specific - you can decide when exactly you will be going.

When you have these plans to do together, she will be more than happy to give you her phone number.

So have fun going out, and getting women's numbers. Just remember, the number is only a way to meet the girl again. Don't make it your goal.


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    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      7 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      informative hub and i wish men would be more polite and be more patient before asking for a woman's number.

      you are very right when u say that a man's mind works entirely opposite to a woman's goes by looks,a woman goes by how a man treats a woman.

      good hub

    • dinesh215 profile image


      7 years ago from HYDERABAD

      its totally irrelevant, it deponds on the way u percive at dem, ...i neva faced dis type of moment anywer,..i got the num of ma senior gal...wer i got her num for da first task...she dint evn tentative to dat moment...,my dogma is..da way u percive at dem..

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      I also wondered why women don't give their number. Your answers are interesting. And I will remember your last line.

    • asmaiftikhar profile image


      7 years ago from Pakistan

      pickupguide this is really interesting hub.informative article about men and women means what's going on in their minds when they exchange their numbers.

    • QudsiaP1 profile image


      7 years ago

      This was a wonderfully written hub, one where you have made valid points and hopefully it will help the clueless men out there.

      I have given you a response to your hub titled, "Why I won't give my phone number easily" and linked it with your hub so that some of my traffic comes to you as well.

    • pickupguide profile imageAUTHOR


      7 years ago

      Wow! What an embarrasing mistake

      Thanks a lot. :)

    • daisynicolas profile image


      7 years ago from Alaska

      Do you mean 'their phone number?'


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