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Why Women Don't Like Nice Guys

Updated on December 3, 2012

Women Make Men Who They Are

So many people complain that 'women only like jerks' and that 'nice guys just get get friend-zoned.' Then they carry on to explain how whatever women want is what men become and that is why so many men are jerks.

And this is very true! What women want is what men become - if women collectively decided that they would choose neo-nazis over all other men, you can be sure that many perfectly tolerant men will find themselves with very different views. This is the power of women in the modern world, with no religion or philosophy to guide us: men follow their penises.

But Why Do Women Like Jerks?

It's partly due to what we actually describe as a jerk.

Part of the very definition of what we know a jerk to be, is that he has confidence!

Confidence - a trait that many women value the most in a man - jerks then have at least some form of strength and power, qualities that most societies dictate men must have in order to be attractive.

The nice guys tend to be quieter and less confident in themselves - and that's fine, in a friend. But in a sexual partner in particular, shyness and low confidence are mostly seen as pathetic. As society has it, in the eyes of women who want someone to take control, a nice guy tends not to be the answer.

But Never Fear!

All of that said however, it's perfectly possible to be both confident and nice. Powerful and strong men who can also be compassionate and caring for others are, undoubtedly, much more popular with women than just confident jerks - but how many of these men do you think are around and do you really think you might be one of them?

You often hear from women that there are 'no good men around' and perhaps this is true - they are faced with the choice of nice shy guy or confident jerk. Perhaps it is women and not us who are real victims in this!

I always hear of nice shy guys complaining that girls don't like them because they're nice, no, girls don't like them because they're pathetic!

Keep Perspective

Now, as a nice guy yourself, you might think "but why do women have to be such b*****s to unconfident men?" And the answer of course is something along the lines of they are naturally inclined towards confidence or maybe, you are just looking for hot women who have high standards which you simply do not meet.

And ask yourself this, if you so readily judge women on their looks and create a standard for yourself, exiling millions of women from a possibility with you - do you honestly not expect women to create a standard for themselves which could exclude you?

Everyone is generally nice to everyone else in the modern world: we can all be friends, but it only make sense that when we decide on who we're going to spend a lot of time with we might be a little pickier.

So the next time you find yourself blaming your poor chances with women on just how nice you are, consider that women 1. Haven't actually seen just how nice you are because you haven't said a word to them and 2. It might just be because you are not considered within the standards of that woman: that means power, money, looks and intellect. Work on those four things and you will find that both men and women will want to be closer to you.

Most of all, remember: niceness can easily be interpreted as being a pushover and being weak - these pathetic characteristic can be very unattractive to a woman and who can blame her! Many women like to feel that their partner has control over his life and himself so that when they date, he might do the same with their relationship, children, finances or just have a good time in the bedroom!

Niceness can be seen as an implication for weakness but also goodness in a woman's eyes - remember though that being strong does not mean being a d****head - how many real d***heads do you know with healthy and happy relationships?


Do you really think that women prefer Jerks over Nice guys?

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    • NateB11 profile image

      Nathan Bernardo 4 years ago from California, United States of America

      Very entertaining and much of it true. Of course, here's another thing: if a man is not interested at all, suddenly women are interested in him; the irony is, at that point it really doesn't matter to him, so it's like a 'too little too late' kind of thing; it's like when you have a girlfriend, suddenly women start talking to you; pretty effed up. As I said, very funny and entertaining stuff, and you make some very good points.

    • wtaylorjr2001 profile image

      William H Taylor 4 years ago from Binghamton NY

      Interesting Hub.

      I wish I came across this twenty years ago.