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Why Would You Want Your Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend Back - The Complete Guide

Updated on February 10, 2011

There are so many hubs on here addressing the questions of how to get an ex back, how to fix a broken relationship, how to make him/her love you again...and they are all uselessly silly, in my opinion.  The real question that should be asked is "why would you want an ex back in the first place?"

A person is an "ex" for a reason, either yours or theirs.  Either way, the relationship is inalterably damaged in some way and things have degenerated to the point that one person no longer wants to be a part of the partnership.  Sure, you may love that person and still carry a torch in your heart for them, but that doesn't change the fact that they simply don't want you anymore.

You've changed.  They've changed.  Life changed.  Whatever it was, something is now different, you are no longer attractive to them in the ways that you once were, and changing into something you're NOT to get back someone who doesn't want YOU isn't going to make the relationship any better if you do reconcile.

I know adult, middle-aged women who act like 12 year olds with a crush on someone who doesn't know they exist when there are problems in their relationships.  They change their hair, they lose weight, they wear different clothes or different perfumes.  Oh, maybe if I'm blonde he'll want me again.  Maybe if I am skinnier, he'll love me more.  No - what he doesn't "love" anymore is what is INSIDE you, and changing that wouldn't make you "you" anymore.

Women who think their men are cheating on them act in the same silly ways...altering their appearances to try to make their man "jealous" in some way.  He's already directing his attentions to someone else, so do you really think he's going to take positive note of anything you do at this point?  Why waste precious time in your life with unproductive tasks like getting hair extensions and wearing more make-up, especially in the pursuit of a guy who is CHEATING on you?  Don't you think he'll cheat again at some point, even if he swears he won't?  A leopard can't change its spots, darlin'.

Oh, but you love him (or her) so much...they're the ONE for you.  The only love you'll ever have in your whole entire life.  Do you know how many times girls (and guys) think that about someone between the ages of 14 and 21?  Every next boyfriend or girlfriend they get is the ONE and the only one.  Every break-up is a world-ending, earth-shattering loss that will never be recovered from.  At least until the next romantic interest comes along.

Stop worrying about how to get someone back that doesn't want you anymore and worry about finding someone that won't want to leave you.  Be yourself.  More importantly, be TRUE to yourself...and The ONE really will come along, and they won't leave.


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