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Why Young Men Are Attracted to Older Women

Updated on January 1, 2018

Why Younger Men Like Older Women


Years ago, the thought of older women dating younger men was considered taboo. I am not entirely sure why, as older men who date women decades younger have always been completely accepted. In fact, men who leave their wives to hook up with a younger babe has become a fairly common occurrence during this century, leaving mature women out in the cold for mates. It’s no longer easy in terms of dating or finding potential relationships with men in their own age group.But the situation has changed. Some men interviewed gave several reason, prominent among them are given below:

Compatibility

Relationships between older and younger people can work if there is compatibility. A young and an older woman might just meet by chance and find out that they have a lot in common. They might not have thought of having a relationship, but accidentally discover that they are perfect for each other age immaterial. This type of relationship is unique, because it's not just built on sex, but on trust, respect and love. They could be both hard-working with many hobbies in common. In my opinion, age has nothing to do with a successful relationship.

Solomon, at 28, finds himself attracted to older women, who is 53; in part for their relaxed attitude about life: "Tina is very special. Not only is she beautiful, but she has a wonderful sense of humor and is benevolent. I like the stimulation of her sharp intellect. The ability to talk about anything with her was refreshing and engaging. Tina offered me space, devotion and herself, which I couldn't find in girls I have dated. I take better care of myself now. She is a best friend who has helped me to become a better person, which builds my confidence and self-esteem. I now have a better job and feel better about myself than ever before."

Maturity

The experiences in life that older women have had make them more grounded and realistic. There's so much to learn from an older woman because they have so many more life experiences to draw upon; which often means they make wiser decisions — like, they're less likely to do things that could jeopardize their relationship such make out with their boyfriend's best friend, and less likely to get so drunk that they throw up on their boyfriend's floor, and so on. They give better advice. They can help younger guys through career crises. When asked what a mature woman offered him that he couldn't find in a younger woman, John answered: “Older women know what they want in life and it makes being with them so much easier. The main thing that attracted me was the overall calm of an older woman. Girls in their 20's are still young and don't know what they want. Older women have so much more to offer and they are looking for different things. They are not just looking for guys who will be good fathers and providers. When I had girlfriends my age or younger, I found they frequently act foolish and immature. I don't relish that behavior—that's why I like mature women. Older women think differently on certain issues and they've got more experience. They helped me to grow up. The way mature women carry themselves shows they know who they are. It equates to stability. They've already figured out who they are. "

Sex

Many young men said that not only did they have a tremendous friendship as the basis of their relationships, but an extraordinary sex life as well. Positive sexual relationship is one of the advantages they possess. Most of the young men I spoke to who’ve had relationship with older women all commented that sex with older women were better. In fact, some younger men are looking for a cougar who can help train them to understand what a woman wants sexually and exactly how to do it. A hot, older woman is going to surely provide an advantage from her prior years of sexual activity and will be more than happy to teach their younger lover what they want. “They know what they like in bed and are less afraid to talk about it,” one of them said. Most people like to please their sexual partners. When a woman can talk about what makes her happy, sexually, it makes it easier for a man to do the right thing. Good sex is about intimacy, it helps bring partners closer. Many young men say that they have always liked older women because they are sexier. They are much more experienced with life. You know this is the kind of person who's going to tell you exactly what they want and they are surer of themselves than the people my age or younger. It's easier to have an enjoyable sexual relationship with an older woman, because she knows how to communicate what she wants. “The greatest sex in my life has been with older partners. It's adventurous for both of us, because it's a whole new exciting journey that gave me many memories and experiences that made me mentally and emotionally rich. Younger women just don't know much."

Love

Many young men are of the view that older women take good care of them better, are more confident, are better lovers, and have life experiences that make them more interesting to be with. Love has no boundaries other than the ones we create and agree upon so as to maintain social order. Two consenting adults in love are free to love each other, age immaterial. George had this to say of his lover, “She's a beautiful woman and I love her. An older woman is surer of herself and brings that to the relationship. She knows what she wants and how to communicate that to her partner.”

They take better care of their health

Older women are more likely to have given up bad habits such as heavy drinking, smoking, and staying out late at night. They're more likely to take better care of their health by eating healthy foods and watching their weight by working out regularly. They want to stay look good which men find attractive.

No Unwanted pregnancy

Many of the younger men just want to have fun for a few years and don’t want to be pressured into anything, let alone settling down and raising a family. After all, many of them are still working off enormous student loans, establishing themselves in their careers and learning how to be a responsible adult. An obvious advantage of dating an older woman is that she has already passed all of those stages and is in it for the time being, without having a long term goal. Some young men hate the idea of young women getting pregnant in order to trap them into marriage. But with the older women they don’t have to worry about pregnancy and an unwanted child. Marriage and having children are issues that have to be discussed and agreed on.

Interests

Having the same interests have been found to make young men date older women. James had this to say about the woman he loves, "She was very beautiful and caring and we have similar interests. I enjoy her company as we enjoy the same things, such as photography, history, arts, etc. We are not just in love but do hold similar views, philosophy, beliefs and ideas about life. But the important thing is that we like a lot of the same things and have grown very close. She is my best friend. I can't picture my life without her. Age is a number. Most of our friends approve of the relationship.”

Conclusion

The main challenge for the younger men dating older women occur in the form of disapproval and criticism from family members, friends and colleagues. Most times the family members are concerned about the ability of the older woman to have children. But the vitro fertilization of donor eggs and other contemporary reproductive methods have provided solution for this problem. Pregnancy at ages once reserved for impossible is now a medical possibility.

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    • Chuksm profile imageAUTHOR

      Anthony Modungwo 

      3 years ago from Benin

      Thanks dashingscorpio for your comment. It is very enlightening and rich.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      3 years ago

      Voted up and useful!

      I believe a lot of women during their youth are expecting their relationships and marriages to fulfill their fantasies like the fairytales and romance novels they read. They want the knight in shinny armor.

      Older more experienced and oftentimes divorced women generally are not into trying to play games or manipulate guys when it comes to sex in hopes of getting a commitment from them. In fact these women relish their newfound freedom and independence. They're more confident.

      Most of these women are not holding out for a "happy ever after" relationship scenario. They want to live and enjoy "the now".

      This is the attitude most young men have which often makes this a good match.

      Two major concerns people tend to have is if the young man falls head over heels with an older woman who sees him as a "boy toy" or the older woman gives her heart to a young man that eventually leaves her to be with a woman his own age.

      The reality is most relationships fail. If this were not true we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts! Life is about taking chances.

      The only real concern long-term is if the older person's starts to fade. Someone who is age 26 with a 46 year old may not notice any major difference. However a 45 year old with a 65 year old is bound to be with someone who is on daily medications or facing other health issues.

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