Why Your Relationship Won't Survive Beyond College
The Fun About College Dating
Everyone knows how fun college life is. There is the wild partying and the drinking, then the dating, if you are into that sort of thing. Most college students are usually just interested in temporarily hooking up, without the pressure of committing to someone, no wonder the surge in the friends with benefits relationships.
There is nothing wrong with college dating. The hopeless romantics love it. You have all the time in the world to spend with your spouse, unless you are some book devotee who has their mind fixated on their future career and does not find dating necessary. There is no denying that it is better to be in a committed relationship than randomly hooking up with every other person you meet. However, you should not bank all your hopes on that relationship. Most college couples tend to focus so much on each other that they hardly have the time to meet other people. Of course when you date someone for a long time, you are bound to convince yourself that you were destined to be together; that nothing can ever get in between you. You spend all your weekends together; you even get a place together and cohabit.
Truth is, you are too busy building your perfect little fairytale to realize it is just a botched plan waiting to fail immediately you leave college. College life is nothing like life on the outside. In college, life affords you so much comfort and pleasure. Most of your needs are usually taken care of by your parents. The part-time job you have earns you money you can spend whichever way you see fit, be it taking your girlfriend on a romantic date or investing in an expensive stereo system to blast up your room. Girls mostly spend the money on shopping expeditions and lavish manicure and pedicure treatments with their girlfriends.
College dating is easy because there aren’t any tests constantly trying to tear up your relationship. There will obviously be the occasional relationship drama, petty issues and accusations of other students trying to ‘steal’ your girlfriend or boyfriend or suspicions of infidelity. You get so used to the perfect relationship that you can hardly imagine being in a different kind of relationship. You get the notion that relationships are all bliss and happiness. You get used to being with the same person that you never even imagine what dating someone else feels like.
After college, however, you realize life is not some juicy fairytale and that your life was doomed from the relationship. You are fresh out of college, with no job, no money and no one to support you. You are always chasing leads for jobs. By then you are so consumed with stress, you start forgetting about your college boyfriend or girlfriend. The pressure of the real world is only just revealing itself to you. The insurmountable amount of bills only keeps adding up and you have to pay your student loans yet you do not have a job yet.
Communication begins to break slowly. You get yourself a job finally but the damage is already done. Your partner is infuriated at this point. In their mind, you are probably cheating on them because you hardly speak to each other. They are constantly trying to reach out to you but all the while you are unavailable, because you are deeply consumed by the demands of the real world. You and your partner are used to being together but the dynamics have now shifted; you live on different ends of the country, in different cities. You realize how difficult it is to sustain a long-distance relationship. Your boss is probably a demanding maniac, so flying out on weekends to spend time with your partner is out of the question.
You slowly begin to accept the facts of the world as they unravel. You start accepting that it is over and that it is time you moved on. Your eyes begin opening up. When you were dating you never took the chance to get to know other people. Someone soon catches your attention at your work. They are cute and available, unlike your partner who is miles away. They soon start drawing you in with their charm. An innocent lunch soon turns into a dinner and before you know it, you are spending nights together. You wonder why you ever stayed with your partner for so long in college, because you are thrilled by the new and interesting experience. Everyone at work knows you are an item. They gossip about you in the corridors and in the bathroom but they will never say it to your face. You start falling in love with that new person and finally gather enough