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Why abstinence in your 20's might be beneficial.

Updated on November 5, 2015

You can escape the finesse player.

When I turned 18 it didn't seem to matter which guy I knew from high school, nobody was safe. Now, I'm not saying they all just want sex in every case but, in a world where college rules after high school and drinking and partying is the norm it's quite typical to be encountered by that old friend once known to be that "safe" to all of a sudden want more than just company. I can even go as far as saying it's expected at early 20's to just give it up. It seems as if it's only social life to go out and party without not much to do accept wait for the next hookup. Let me say or be the first or at least be another one to validate someone that life will be more could be more productive or fulfilling if this stage is bypassed and things could get done a whole lot faster. Preserving the self esteem and the mind games and don't forget the shame that goes into the process of sleeping with a man that takes pride in maybe or maybe not calling a woman back. Plus we get into relationships where they hit rock bottom the moment they begin. What I mean by that, is date guy who is about 23 years old he still dabbles into drugs a little bit, he still lives with his parents, he takes money from everyone around him and half the time he cannot be accounted for. He takes emotional turmoil and yet because neither party has matured yet we stay in the relationship. Not going anywhere in life, allowing us to be used and believe that we deserve to be treated like a bank by this player that could care less. Now he might not stay that way forever, but all I'm saying is it really appropriate to be in a relationship in those conditions?

Feeling beautiful is not just in commercials.

Honestly, saying that not having sex can make a somebody feel more beautiful. With self esteem through the roof, valuing themselves it's easier for one to look at a situation and be more clear minded. To talk to someone they wouldn't normally talk to. Not to mention it seems as though picking up bad habits is less likely to happen and picking up the good habits is a quality that sticks with this person. Someone who is abstinent is more clear minded to be less likely to take to alcohol to take a sounding board for their feelings when a depressed or other destructive habits that cause a whirlwind spiral of dismay to the youth. In the 20's the pressure is on to be beautiful because the impression is, is that beauty won't last past the 20's and the body fades once 30 hits. However, that may seem accurate it's not true at all. Some people grow into themselves differently than others and taking care of yourself always pays off and loving what's on the inside will always pay off. Sometimes it's hard to imagine when meeting someone that maybe I'll be with this person for a very long time and slip and accidentally have sex with them. In that case it might be beneficial to just not date anyone until full maturity. Nobody wants to be with someone that can't exercise self control.

Your goals become clear.

Proving to be a consistent person by sticking to a promise that has been made, it's not because one can not obtain sex or date. That's a misconception, anyone can have sex and anyone can be tricked and scammed. Getting a sense of identity is the best sense of self a human being can have before getting married. Many people skip this step for various reasons. When choosing to not have sex one can relax a little bit more and actually go at their own pace without having to sink or lower to other people's level. Sometimes when going out and having sex with multiple men and then looking at introspectively one might not think they measure up when in reality they top the chart. Sex makes one want something they cannot have or feel something they do not want. Visions get lost for some people because they are so concerned with the opposite sex, this is called the hustle phase for a reason and we all have to grind. With evading the player that's out to use the body for his personal needs to, being above the influence that the media portrays it's safe to say that abstinence is a healthy choice although not for everyone it is a safe option.

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    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 2 years ago

      I'm not sure if there is a real correlation between abstinence and feeling good/beautiful about oneself or being clear on their goals.

      I imagine there is an element of feeling "in control" in (one area of their life) but it's a long way from saying abstinence leads to happiness!

      Some people have sex with only a handful of people in their entire life. Not everyone goes from one person to another, followed by another.

      While in college many students embrace the freedom and opportunity to do whatever they want. There is no curfew or a need to try and find a place to have sex outside of someone's car. It's similar to being an adult with one's own apartment and the ability to do as one pleases.

      Having said that there are many people that have sex in their 20s who feel beautiful, are clear about their goals, and managed to avoid the players. Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      If someone has been having one bad dating/relationships experience after another it's probably time they re-examine (their) mate selection criteria. The only thing all of your bad relationships have in common is (you).

      It's one thing to choose abstinence because you want it and another thing to choose it because you're (afraid) of getting your heart broken.

      What I find interesting is people who have chosen abstinence don't pursue relationships with others who have chosen abstinence or taken a "purity" vow. It's as if they enjoy associating with people who don't believe as they do. Maybe there is a thrill that comes with rejecting people. :)

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