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Self help books, do they damage a woman's self esteem
Why do we always need fixing?
Looking over my collection of books which include many self-help books, and reading many, many articles. I still find myself at a loss. Why are all these books and articles directed at women on "how to keep your man happy?" "how to keep your man from cheating" and "501 ways to drive a man crazy in bed." Why is it our responsibility to keep a man happy, keep him from cheating, or stand on our heads to have sex?
Number one happiness is a state of mind. No one can make you happy, at least long-term. You are responsible for your own happiness as is he for his. But these books written by the so called experts tell women, keep the house cleaner, cook his favorite dinner, serve him breakfast in bed, meet him at the door with a smile. HELLO!! If you are a stay at home mom, work from home, or work outside the home, by the time 6pm comes around you are dead on your feet from chasing the kids, helping with homework, and doing housework. It is a thankless, unpaid, unappreciated job. By the time you get the kids in bed after bathtime you are exhausted. If you work outside the home, depending on your job, you are tired of hearing your boss, tired of co-workers and just plain tired. Your head hurts, your feet hurt, and muscles that you forgot you had hurt.
When you get home all you want is to kick off the heels, throw on something comfortable and if you are lucky, take a nap or a time out. If you are home all day, you are still tired, your head still hurts from hearing the kids fight and arguing with your spouse on the phone. I hate to burst a guy's bubble but when a family lives in a house it will not stay spotless, even if we cleaned all day. The sad part is most of the picking up we do is after...YOU!! You take a bath and leave your clothes on the floor.... the hamper is right next to the door. We still have to pick up your dishes from last nights supper that you left on the night stand. half the food is on the bedspread that we just washed the day before.
Now about that meeting you at the door in something sexy and taking a bubble bath together , obviously the writer of the books does not have children at home. Romantic candle-lit dinners??? What a joke. We have made your breakfast, lunch, and supper and would give anything for a little downtime of our own, if you could make it home early instead of having a beer with your buddies or whoever. But that's another dream.
Now about how we shouldn't fuss or complain, don't stress you out because you work so hard, I guess you think the housework gets done on it's own. But we are suppose to smile sweetly and read the "KARMA SUTRA" to learn how to stand on our heads and have sex upside down to keep you satisfied so you want cheat. If you are going to cheat, you are going to do it anyway. The story you tell whoever she is about how your wife doesn't understand you, and how you never get sex...WAAHHH. I bet after being your wife for a week she wouldn't look so hot either.
You really freaked me out when you wanted to buy a box of expensive chocolates for our sons teacher because she does so much for your son. MMMM ...I thought she got a check for that. As for me, I don't even get a thank you. Then you wonder why I sleep on the couch and stay angry and resentful all the time.
Christmas is coming. You are never in a good mood, it's the holidays. Can't you be happy for once. Yeah, I'm really happy that I will spend all day cooking, cleaning so you can impress, and then try to dress up in a special dress and high heels to make you happy. Everyone will eat and be happy HAHAHA, then leave and take plates while I get to clean up the mess AGAIN. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ME.
Yet every book I pick up on relationships is about what the woman need to change to keep her husband, happy, at home and satisfied. Why I wonder, do we really need to change that much? Is it really our responsibility to keep you happy, jump when you say jump, and have sex to make you happy, so you won't cheat.
To me I had rather you cheat, if your not already. it would take a load off me. As for the self-help books, they are a fantasy. Written for single women who have no responsibility and want to play mama to a man so his ego gets stroked. As for me I would like to have my own ego stroked every once in awhile.
I am not not saying there are no good men out there, it's just really hard to find them.
I would appreciate any feedback you can give me on this subject.