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Why communication is crucial in marriage

Updated on July 10, 2017

We know very well that communication is the foundation of any relationship be it parental, friendship or love. It is all the more crucial in marital relationship where even big problems can emerge because of loss of or insufficient communication. However, whenever we say we need to communicate, we usually focus on speaking. But the important thing is that LISTENING is very crucial in marriage. Let’s see how.

  • Listening to your partner help you understand his mind. While speaking is only telling your partner about your mind.
  • Understand that every person has the need and hunger to be heard by someone. If your partner is showing such need, it means you are not giving him/her enough attention.
  • Understand that each person has his unique point of view. When you are listening, don’t try to snap him/her. Just accept the fact that he has a perspective towards issues just like you have. Just hear out patiently and discuss it later.
  • Listening is necessary not only when there is a difference of opinion. Even in day to day life, one should take time off to listen to the things he/she wants to share with you. This helps you connect.
  • Study reveals that most couples spend only ten minutes every day listening to each other. Whereas, at their work places, they spend as much as 50 to 70 % of their time listening.
  • On an average, a person speaks 120 to 175 words per minute. While a listener can receive at a rate of 350 to 450 words per minute. So even when the husband is listening, your hands can indulge in some other work like typing on the computer. Wives can cook or do cleaning while listening.
  • Very trivial but basic discussions like “ How was the day? “ can trigger up a conversation. Such conversations are very crucial in marriage.
  • Study shows that most of the couples who approach counselors complain of not being heard by their partner.
  • If you are busy doing something and don’t want to listen at that moment, tell him/her you will listen later. Then get back to it when you get time.
  • Couples usually interrupt because they know what the other person is going to say or else you think it is trivial. As marriage progresses this is a usual practice. Do not do that. Do not interrupt your partner saying that you already know. Interrupting discourages him/her from sharing thoughts.
  • Cultivate certain etiquettes in listening like not giving advices or passing judgments unnecessarily. Arguments should be made politely. Show empathy towards your partner’s problem.
  • When you start listening to your partner, he/she,in turn , will begin to inculcate the same habit.


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