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Why do I always fall for the wrong men?
Men are crazy!
In the time I have had to think, which is a lot of time recently, I have come to the grand conclusion that maybe, just maybe, God didn't create a "Perfect Man" for me. Yes, i know no one is perfect and maybe this is just frustration, hurt, and fear talking. I just realize that all the men I fall for either...A-Don't know I am alive, B-Don't like me back and never say why, C-Use me from everything to get homework done to getting closer to my sister, or D-Say they do then go about to ignore me. Yes, that has been my my track record for men. In my years past, I have tried to be more open that I like a man, falls miserably most the time or I chose not to tell them. I mean come on, how embarrassing would it be to say I like you, but to hear back, I don't see you like that.
Recently, I kinda broke that rule and I kinda told a guy that I thought he was great and he said nothing back other than that wasn't so embarrassing. Well gee, it would have been better if you at least bothered to say one thing nice about me other than to make me feel like the ugliest woman ever to walk the face of the Earth, this guy was kinda a topic of a past blog. It is just kinda sad, that you think one way about a person and here nice things about you, til he sees that you aren't a supermodel and he slowly ignores you, making you feel like you are only good to talk to when he has no one better to talk to. And no I am not a future Victoria's Secret model, but you know what, I am not anywhere near ugly. I know, my sister says that if he can't see how incredible a woman you are, then he has to be a fing idiot and maybe he can stop wondering why he is single because he is too picky. I know that in my heart, but it hurts, it still does. I am trying to be friends with him, but I just don't know anymore.
The guy before most recent guy, I think, maybe in part was bad timing. I never told him any of what I felt for him because he was going through so much drama in his life....why add to it? And he seemed so hung up on his old girlfriend, with good reason to be. More than likely, it would have ended up the same way this most recent guy happened. You are more a friend then you are a future date. I still talk to him from time to time.
I don't ask for a lot from a man, I want a guy that is smart, funny guy that doesn't have to be a man hunk. I just want what every woman I think, even the gold diggers of the world want, someone that will look at you, when you are feeling and looking your worst and say, " Pass me another beer!" LOL I just want to be accepted for the goofball girl that I am, I have been told by male friends from the past, that they broke the mold after they created you. I want a man to have my back, make me feel secure. Of course, I would want to do same for him. I don't ask for a lot in the material world, it doesn't take a lot to make me happy!
I guess my point has been, I am tired of men that want a perfect 10, i am tired of being misjudged and used, I am tired of wanting what I can't seem to have. Maybe one day...Maybe? I can't answer why I pick the wrong men, maybe men are just as crazy as women are...okay that is a definitely, but maybe it was suppose to be like this. As my Mom always said, "All things happen for a reason"