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Why do nice guys finish last

Updated on September 12, 2013
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Why do nice guys finish last?

There are a lot of nice guys out there who are single, but why is that? To make things worse, they have been toss in the friend zone (a place no man would want to be with a girl he wants). They listen to all the problems she have with her horrible boyfriend who treats her like crap most of the time and they know that they could treat her better than that. A friend of mine once told me that I would find a girl who has been though a lot with men and she would show me the world and I told her that I feel I don’t deserve a woman like that. Personal I feel that I should have been her first choice, not her last option (rebound guy). So the question is, why do nice guys finish last? The only person who can answer this question is another nice guy and this what I realized.

Nice guys vs tough guys

There are so many differences between these so called tough guys, bad boys, or whatever you want to call them and nice guys. First off, these so called tough guys aren’t so tough they just flex their muscle. They're like everybody else, they just want someone to care for them. These guys don’t think about their actions they just do what come to mind and that's a good thing. I’m not trying to be a sexiest, but as a man you are supposed to take charge, so don’t wait for her to make the first move. Women love a man who take charge, so don't think about kissing her, just do it (maybe she'll like it maybe she won't). Second they don’t fear rejection, the worse thing she could said to you is

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“no” and “I have a boyfriend” that is it and the only thing you can do is move on to next. This is where nice guys mess up at, they won't ask her out, because they're scared she’s going to turn them down. Third would have to be that nice guys don’t show confident, this is a big turn off for women. Nice guys think that they are not good enough so they never make a move even though she may be thinking about them, but it’s the bad boys who made the move, which is why they always get the girl. Sad part about it is that in some scenarios (if not most), she wish you (the nice guy) had made the move not the bad boy (now she thinks you don't like her). Like I mentioned earlier, that tough guys don’t fear rejection. Last thing that nice guys do that get them put in the friend zone is they try way too hard. It’s as if they are buying her affection. They become a doormat, or the go to guy to talk to about her boyfriend (don't you hate that?);like you really want to hear the girl you like talk about another guy right? Tough guys are just themselves like it or leave it; doesn’t matter either way to them. So for those of you who think women go for those guys who treat them like yesterday’s trash, you're wrong they just want guys who show more confident in themselves, so the first you need to do is to boost your confidence.

Building confidence

In order for the nice guy to win the girls heart instead of the tough guy they need to build confidence. Like I mentioned before, nice guys tend to sell themselves short; they believe that aren’t good enough. The first thing you need to do to build confidence is to become more comfortable with yourself. Stop worrying about the marks on your face, your weight, your teeth, or any other imperfections on your body. There is nothing wrong with making changes to yourself, but don’t let that stop you from approaching your crush. For example, if you always wanted to get into shape, that doesn’t mean you’re not good enough for your crush. Regardless what you are trying to change whether it’s your employment status, getting in shape, or clearing your face, it shouldn’t stop you from approaching you crush.

Honesty

If you find yourself without nothing to say to her just be honest; tell her the reason why you walked up to her. For example if you find attractive then just say so (just don't be a creep about it).

When approaching a woman, be calm and look her in the eyes (you have no idea how important eye contact is especially with a woman) don’t be looking at everything except her. If you have problem with eye contact, you can try looking at her mouth then her eyes. Take your time when talking to her or you will get tongue tied. If you have a stuttering problem just take your time she not going anywhere. The most important rule, do not forget to make the first move or should I say do be afraid to make the first move. After a conversation ask her for her number or suggest that you should hang out sometime. There is no special pick up line you can find on the internet that will magically make a women fall head over hills for you, so you might as well be yourself and test your luck. If you don't remember anything remember this: it's really important to become comfortable with yourself; this way it'll be a whole lot easier to talk without fumbling over your words or falling on your face. So remember that the worse thing she do is say no, so good luck.

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      Renee Collins 5 years ago

      Thank you, I'll keep them coming

    • soconfident profile image
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      Derrick Bennett 5 years ago

      I look forward to read more of your work.

    • profile image

      Renee Collins 5 years ago

      No problem

    • soconfident profile image
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      Derrick Bennett 5 years ago

      Thanks for your comments

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      Renee Collins 5 years ago

      I agree.

    • soconfident profile image
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      Derrick Bennett 5 years ago

      Yeah they just need to speak up.

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      Renee Collins 5 years ago

      But there are some nice confident guys there.

    • soconfident profile image
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      Derrick Bennett 5 years ago

      I glad you like it this hub. That is another assumption that nice guys make, but when it come down to it nice guys lack confidence.

    • profile image

      Renee Collins 5 years ago

      I like this. Another aspect is that a lot of women want to be that one woman who changed the bad boy and made him into a nice guy...almost never happens.

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