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Why do some people have reservations regarding Online Dating?

Updated on January 27, 2013
Why do I have reservations about online dating? Why does it seem like a a place fraught with shadows and unknown? Why don't I want to put myself out there? Nobody I know, knows them. It is not romantic.
Why do I have reservations about online dating? Why does it seem like a a place fraught with shadows and unknown? Why don't I want to put myself out there? Nobody I know, knows them. It is not romantic.

No reputation

The people you meet online don't know anyone you know usually, otherwise chances are you would have crossed paths before. So you don't know the back story so speak of the person you are meeting. Which idealistically is a bonus, to be taken for the person you have become today instead of the gawky or loudmouth youth you were.

Still it seems to be a disconcerting concept to know absolutely nothing about about a person, to be able to have a chat with a mutual friend about the person, or even go as far as fact checking - not saying this is healthy or helpful however for some reason we want to do it.

However in some ways as mentioned a clean slate is good for a person and if the relationship progresses you may meet family and friends, with all the stories to make your date squirm.

Meeting someone online is geeky

Well aside from the fact geeks are cool, and there is all this buzz about Geek-Sheikh. Some people still feel the only people they will find on an online dating site are geeks. This is not the case, a wide variety of people utilize online dating sites.

Let's not forget you are online too, for shopping, car advice, hobby advice, games, checking what movies are on, whats hot and what's not, news, weather, and a plethora of other things we do online. Mostly though being online has to do with cats taking over the world, one laugh at a time. Isn't it time we removed the stigma from online dating?

With busy lives, limited networks, less time, more demands and more to do every day than there is time. There is little time to met Prince Charming or even the girl next door.

Clubs tend to be more about one night hook ups than sustainable relationships and once you have tried it out waking up beside enough Coyote Ugly's or Mr Muscles with no personalities and you are tired of getting all dressed up just to get undressed in a hurry and you want a deeper connection than just a highly pleasurable exercise, hoping to exchange no fluids.

That is the great thing about online dating, you meet a personality first, and get to have a conversation as communication is the key to any relationship.

Fate will find me a Mate

Sure it will. Keep going to your itsybitsy cafe, work, gym, family functions, the same corner in the pub with your friends, your mate will just waltz in one day with a fate-light beaming on them. Meanwhile I will be at the fairy ring at the bottom of my garden because evidently your future mate has the same routine just in a different space.

Sometimes taking a chance and putting yourself out there is fates way to intervene, who are you going to knock out of your routine to search vigorously for your mate?

An honest representation of yourself online with a few hobbies, check it a couple of times a week chat with people, what is there to lose?

They might lie

Yes they might. So might the date you met in line for coffee, so might the blind date and so might the date you have crushed on for months. That is what dating is for, to meet people who are single, who you might be interested in. It is not a place to give your heart away immediately but to see if there is potential, and if you can both join each others life's journey, blending two paths.

Again stop being so fatalistic you might not meet the one your heart dances with the first time, if it were that easy you'd be in a committed relationship right now and not reading why I should try online dating.

It removes the romance

Only if you let it. Remember romance means different things to different people. It is an important thing to discuss what you find romantic nobody is a mind reader.

For example:

Candle lit dinners romantic or not?

Mood music romantic or not, but for you is the Barry White or P!nk?

Walks in the rain?

The bustle and energy of the city?




Shared plates of food?

Picnics by the river or lake?

Or is it a mood made by compliments? Quality time which is comfortable? Is it a nice scenery? Is it about companionship? being taught or learning something new?

I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone we met online, by the way it wasn't that romantic

A: Don't be embarrassed

B: You need to tell somebody you are meeting someone you met online, for safety sake.

C: Make the first time you meet in person romantic.

D: You realize there are heaps of people on those websites and the fact that you were matched or found each other by accident on there is amazing, and if you have to worry about telling people how you met it is a long term thing congrats!

When not to online date

When you are under 18, in all seriousness focus on the friendships around you, discover who you are and take your education seriously.

When you are in a relationship - you know unless of course every one is aware of the situations and it is OK with all parties involved.


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    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Thanks Prospectboy! I like telling the truth with humour where possible. Thanks so much for your time and thoughtful comments! Everyone is an individual and experiences will vary, but as always safe is smart.

    • prospectboy profile image

      Bradrick H. 

      5 years ago from Texas

      "highly pleasurable exercise, hoping to exchange no fluids." LOL! I thought that line was pretty funny. I think you laid out the stereotypes regarding online dating quite well. I actually was in a relationship for 4 years with a woman that I met online years ago. It's definitely possible to meet someone, people just have to be smart about it. I enjoyed reading this. Voted up!

    • Abbasangel profile imageAUTHOR


      5 years ago from Australia - The land down under

      Thanks! Safety is definitely important and can't be stressed enough... I am writing a follow up to this one too!!

    • LisaMarie724 profile image

      Lisa Stover 

      5 years ago from Pittsburgh PA

      As long as you do it safely, I feel there is nothing wrong with online dating. It's a great way to meet people who are at the same stage as you are in life. Great work!


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