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Why Do We Find It so Difficult to Give up on Those Determined to Go Down in Flames?

Updated on December 1, 2019
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Ms. Macon is an advice columnist and content writer for radio and television commercials. Catch her on Ask A Bitchface, truly funny truth.

I didn't want to tell myself I wasted 4 years on, most likely, the cruelest, most hateful man I have ever known...

I knew it to be true. Never, in the absolute history of my life, has anyone been so cruel and thoughtless, so absolutely crass and vile. He was hands down the nastiest, most hateful person I've ever had the displeasure of associating with.

But, he came with a sob story. I am a fixer of broken things. I take in strays. That is a deadly combination when the sob story is from a manipulative, disgusting excuse for a man.

I am a fixer of broken things...

I still feel my stomach roll when I think about it...

All of the times I should have cut my losses and walked out. Every time I should have packed whatever I could, grabbed my dog, and hit the road. The number, I couldn't give an honest estimate. He gave me plenty of reason to walk out every single day.

Then, that stupid ass vacuous cavity in my chest would start its' ignorance. "He's broken, you can't just walk out on someone that is broken...", it would tell me, as though that would ever be an excuse for the abusive, horrible person I lived with. Quite frankly, he needs to be away from the public at large. He cares about one thing: himself. And he feels it is his right to destroy anyone who has the audacity to try to view him as anything remotely human. The man is evil.

He cares about one thing: himself...

It's not like I haven't been down this road several times before...

I have always been drawn to the broken toys, the misfits, the strays. It has nearly led to my demise more than a handful of times. I should have learned my lesson several times before I tossed myself, headfirst, into this last pool of debauchery.

I believe if it had been the garden variety snake, the run of mill cheater, I could have handled it. But, this douchebag... he was a brand of evil I hadn't encountered before. I don't think there was a warning strong enough to save me from that predator. I have wished a thousand times over that I could go back to that night and unmeet him.

I don't think there was a warning strong enough to save me from that predator...

I know the reasons, I just can't shake the "WTF" off...

It's difficult for me to accept that , for that period of time in my life, I was nothing at all like myself. I was simply prey, and that's a hard fact to settle in the grand scheme of the woman I am. It is simply what the situation was.

I know the signs now when I see them. I have failsafes in place today. That isn't a beating I'm willing to take again.

I have always been able to say something awesome about my exes after we were through. In his case, however, it's best if I just don't say anything at all.


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    • dashingscorpio profile image


      7 days ago

      "It's not like I haven't been down this road several times before..."

      Very introspective!

      We get to {choose} who we spend our time with!

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us has our own mate selection process/must haves list.

      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".

      No one is "stuck" with anyone! Suffering is optional.

      When we acknowledge this it empowers us because we have the ability to learn from (our mistakes) and make better choices for ourselves in the future. Most people would rather play the blame game. When (we) change our circumstances change!

      Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

      The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde


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