ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Why Do We Find It so Difficult to Give up on Those Determined to Go Down in Flames?

Updated on December 1, 2019
Ask A Bitchface profile image

Ms. Macon is an advice columnist and content writer for radio and television commercials. Catch her on Ask A Bitchface, truly funny truth.

I didn't want to tell myself I wasted 4 years on, most likely, the cruelest, most hateful man I have ever known...

I knew it to be true. Never, in the absolute history of my life, has anyone been so cruel and thoughtless, so absolutely crass and vile. He was hands down the nastiest, most hateful person I've ever had the displeasure of associating with.

But, he came with a sob story. I am a fixer of broken things. I take in strays. That is a deadly combination when the sob story is from a manipulative, disgusting excuse for a man.


I am a fixer of broken things...

I still feel my stomach roll when I think about it...

All of the times I should have cut my losses and walked out. Every time I should have packed whatever I could, grabbed my dog, and hit the road. The number, I couldn't give an honest estimate. He gave me plenty of reason to walk out every single day.

Then, that stupid ass vacuous cavity in my chest would start its' ignorance. "He's broken, you can't just walk out on someone that is broken...", it would tell me, as though that would ever be an excuse for the abusive, horrible person I lived with. Quite frankly, he needs to be away from the public at large. He cares about one thing: himself. And he feels it is his right to destroy anyone who has the audacity to try to view him as anything remotely human. The man is evil.


He cares about one thing: himself...

It's not like I haven't been down this road several times before...

I have always been drawn to the broken toys, the misfits, the strays. It has nearly led to my demise more than a handful of times. I should have learned my lesson several times before I tossed myself, headfirst, into this last pool of debauchery.

I believe if it had been the garden variety snake, the run of mill cheater, I could have handled it. But, this douchebag... he was a brand of evil I hadn't encountered before. I don't think there was a warning strong enough to save me from that predator. I have wished a thousand times over that I could go back to that night and unmeet him.

I don't think there was a warning strong enough to save me from that predator...

I know the reasons, I just can't shake the "WTF" off...

It's difficult for me to accept that , for that period of time in my life, I was nothing at all like myself. I was simply prey, and that's a hard fact to settle in the grand scheme of the woman I am. It is simply what the situation was.

I know the signs now when I see them. I have failsafes in place today. That isn't a beating I'm willing to take again.

I have always been able to say something awesome about my exes after we were through. In his case, however, it's best if I just don't say anything at all.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 

      7 days ago

      "It's not like I haven't been down this road several times before..."

      Very introspective!

      We get to {choose} who we spend our time with!

      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      Each of us has our own mate selection process/must haves list.

      Each of us has our own boundaries and "deal breakers".

      No one is "stuck" with anyone! Suffering is optional.

      When we acknowledge this it empowers us because we have the ability to learn from (our mistakes) and make better choices for ourselves in the future. Most people would rather play the blame game. When (we) change our circumstances change!

      Life is too short to be trying to change water into wine.

      The goal is to find someone who (already is) what you want.

      "Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."

      - Oscar Wilde

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)