- Gender and Relationships
Why do young people get into relationships and commit to each other when they know they will not marry in the future?
“You collect and collect before you select"
“You collect and collect before you select”, this is the answer of a friend of mine when I asked her why she has so many boyfriends. At first, I didn't understand her point of view but later on, a certain hint glows at the back of my mind. Maybe because she has no plans to be committed forever to that certain guy.
You date people not just for fun but also because you are choosing the one that fits your personal jar. In short, you go to a date to look for a partner whom you can commit and have relationship with. You look for the one whose world revolves around the sun where your world travels. Therefore, you go into a relationship, get committed and plan your future with that special someone.
But due to eagerness, some people, especially the youth, tends to forget the essence of being in a relationship and being committed. For with them, it doesn’t matter if they don’t plan for their future as long as they can feel the sense happiness even for a short period of time.
Most young people in this generation commit themselves into someone who they don’t even plan to marry or to have a family with. They thought that being with them is like a food test where they can throw away the food, if they don’t like it anymore. For some, it is just temporary, not being certain, it’s more of a “try now, choose the better, and planning later” journey.
But the question is why do they commit and spent their days with someone when they don’t have plans to be together in the future? Why do they get involve where, in the first place, they both knew they won’t end up together?
Young people choose to date, be in a relationship and commit without plans to be together with each other because of certain reasons.
No long term commitment
First, they are not yet prepared to do long time commitment. The teenage age is a time of transition and young people are not ready to handle big decisions and responsibilities. All they want is fun and excitement. Of course, a little bit of adventure. When they are romantically devoted, they don’t mean to stay with the same person for ever. They all want to explore the world with different kinds of people.
Opportunities and opportunities
Second, they don’t envision themselves with that person. Being young means there are many opportunities, many opportunities means more doors will be opened and more people to meet. Planning for the future together tends to close the door of meeting new people and going out on a date.
Third, they are afraid of having limits on what to do. When you are serious with your relationship and have plans for your future, your partner tends to limit your doings and plans. Young people hate being controlled with their actions. They want to be carefree and easy-going kind of youth. If they commit, there might be some restrictions and many don’t want that.
Forth, peer pressure is another big factor. Seeing friends hanging out with boy friends and girl friends makes one realise why should I be alone. Seeing them having fun and hearing their stories makes one fantasize about how his or her life would be if they were doing the same thing.
Commitment with the wrong person
Lastly, they are afraid that they might choose the wrong one. Aside from they all want fun, they are also afraid to choose the wrong person. Being into many relationships leads them into confusion. They are not quite sure on whom to be with and what to plan with because they are too involve with many man.
People nowadays are so eager to find their perfect match that they tend to forget the real reason why they commit and be in a relationship. Some commit but do not love while others love but are afraid to commit. Some commit and love but it does not last long, while others have no plan to be together in the future at all. But the truth is when you love, you commit, when you commit, you give your all. When you give all, you are willing to give your world and plan your life with that special one.
Commitment, according to Merriam-Webster.com, is defined as an act of committing to a charge or trust or an agreement or pledge to do something in the future. It means that once you commit you are both emotionally and physically attached to that person and you both have plans to achieve together in the future. It implies that you have mutual understanding and that you don’t want to be away from each other.
While relationship, on the other hand, is defined as a romantic or passionate attachment. This means that once you are in a relationship, you are also already committed because both go together.
As the world revolves around the sun continuously, people do extra activities without minding how these will affect them in the future. Some people, especially teenagers, are too aggressive in dealing with relationships. Even those who are not yet financially and emotionally stable are eager to be committed. For them, it is not how stable you are but it’s about the happiness you feel in a short period of time. For them, it is not about the plans but it is the mutual emotion that they feel.
Being in a relationship means being committed and being committed means you are looking forward to end with that person. It is not necessary to be serious as long as you have plans together and you tried to envision tomorrow with your loved one.