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Why does she say let's be friends

Updated on June 17, 2012

Womansville

Why did she finally dropped the " F" word: " I think you are a great guy, but let's be friends" ?

And there you are in disbelief, that the woman you are digging for has just friendzoned you. She is not interested in having you as her boyfriend. And so you wonder: what happenned? what did I do wrong? why can't she see how a great guy I am?...so many questions in your head

With this article I am trying to bring out the most simple and deep down secrets women will never tell you face to face about why is it that she just doesn't want you...Here is an exhaustive list of reasons:

- She might be in love with someone else; Guys, here is a bad idea ; You to get in your mind that you can have a chance with this girl because she is in a bad relationship or she is in love with someone who treats her bad. And so you decide that she is an easy prey. you want to show her how different and good of a man you are. By listening to her by giving her the attention you "think" she craves and you try to position yourself in front of her as a good match for her instead of the jerk or the uncaring one. Here is the bad news, in the eyes of this girl, she looks at you and think how easy for you to think that she can just swicth feelings like that? how dare you think you can have your piece of cake because she is so vulnerable in front of you? How insensitive of you to think that she should give you her affections when she is in such pain and longing for someone else? she will believe deep down that you just think she is "easy","stupid" for being in love with the other guy. I know it might not be what you think but it can be insulting for a woman to see her "friend" trying to dissuade her. Because there you are asking for her full attention; She will feel stupid to have openned up to you about her deep emotions for someone else;... So she will refuse your advances flat...she will say let's be friends. Her emotions takes on a different approach with you: my advice is, if you like the girl, don't let her talk about her heartache in love unless you are genuiely not so in love with her. Don't let her reveal stuff to you about her misadventures in Love . you as a guy will preserve her for openning up too much and let her, force her to keep things for herself , grow herself out of the situation by herself instead of reaching out for a male figure shoulder to console her . you will not win her heart by hoovering around her and demanding her love by pretending to be a friend. Clearly if you hoover around a girl who is not available emotionnally you are digging your own grave. she will know you want more but is just waiting for you to make a move and she will put you back to your place...so what's the point pretending...she doesn't need you to pour her heart out; there are girls out there she can find...so stop playing those little games ,hoping she will fall easily into your arms...if you like her avoid her when she wants to whine ; don't let her; because she doesn the pouting better by herself; she knows she is in a mess...instead change the subject and talk about something intelligent...she will think you are smart..trust me.

- She is waiting for a better guy: ok so she seems to like you but it's not cliking between you too pass the odd small attraction...you finally decided to make a move and she said, let's be friends. Chances are she wasn't probably prepared for you to ask or she has made up her mind you are not that person she is waiting for...but she likes hanging out with you . she must have chatted you up and saw few things she doesn't like. and she knows it won't work. One crucial thing would be not to try to be someone else though because chances are, if she doesn't like you now, she might never. and before you ruin things by hating her , you might want to cut off the relationship yourself because nothing you will do will make her change her mind.

- You are too friendly: guys who are too nice and too friendly when we gals know a guy can NEVER be friends with us for the sake of it. It just sucks and makes us look at the guy with disdain. Trust me it just aches to see a guy fooling himslef but playing the -I don't-like-you-but-i-like-hanging-out-with-you when in fact he thinks he is fooling us.Politeness wants us to keep him believing that we don't know what's going on and as long as he keeps his distance and torture himself without us knowing, we are fine. The trouble is this type of men think, they have made themselves clear enough by being too friendly and by being soo avaivalbe for the girl that she must definitely like him for allowing him to be all the time with her, chatting her up etc..The moment he finally decide he has had enough, and want to make a move, he gets the biggest biggest blow when she says, let's be friends. because he thinks: wait a minute: I am always around her...there is no other guy like I was allowed around her...so why does she says no. the truth is you made yourself available that way, she never asked you but since it's convenient and you don't seem to mind, she will let you as long as you don't ask for more from her. It's so annoying for a girl to have a guy behaving like that. It's like you are trying to trick her into not saying NO to you and it just doesn't work like that. Women are wired to smell when a guy is interested so stop those games. or you get what you deserve.

- You stick around when she says NO: here is a clue, if she say let's be friends, one good attitude to have is to never bring it up again and take your distance. That way, she might just thinks she was probably missing something about you and create a curisity zone and time for you to have something to discuss when the time come again. Stay away from her, don't go to where she goes, don't email, text...basically LEAVE HER ALONE. women don't like to be left alone, they like to talk; stop the talking with her and mind your own life. Show her that you grieve if truly you loved her deeply. women can be soften by this attitude. respect her decision and cut off all contact. some guys think they can stick around in case she changes her mind, well guess what she will not and the chances will diminished if you still hoover around her because you just validate her feelings that you are not a real MAN. a hard guy who can collect himself and accept the real truth. You show her by sticking around that you have low self esteem. and trust me a woman does not want to be around a guy that shows he doesn't care about his own feelings. it's important to show her that you care about yourself and want to stay away from her to protect your own heart. after your time of grieving you can decide on another subtle plan to move closer to her but after awhile and after you truly able to accept that she might never be yours so you will act around her as natural as possible. but please, give her a break and stop trying to maker her feel guitly for not loving you back. and get on with your life.

- She is just not sure of her feelings for you: She might be the type of girl who is very cautious about being in a relationship and she is scared of letting you in her heart. she might have been burned in the past and is afraid of reading you wrongly . But she really likes you , I mean truly...you probably dated her a couple times and wants to move on quickly into the next stage and she just threw a let's be friends. She might have some issues on her mind and Patience qill be you asset. GREAT PATIENCE. and perhaps you might want to take up a class on how to be a very good listenner because everything she will say to you will be in a double sens. she is trying not to hurt your feelings about something that truly botheres her. so it might be that you have habits and some things she doesn't like and doesn't see herself in the long run with you. Now let's break it to you: you might be bad at sex, at kissing, at hygiene...if your relatiosnhip hasn't grown as much as it should and here are those issues arising, it can be difficult to make her talk. she will talk to her girls or mom or sister but not you that she might be disapointted. she she wants to be friends, break it off... The man in the situation will have to know this so that he can bring the improvement required . Women are not great communicators and like talking with emotions, and stupid little codes instead of going straight to the subject. So it might be worth laying a good fooundation of excellent communication with her. not pressurizing her but letting her know that you are mature enough to handle anything she might and will tell you...tricky one

- You appear too desperate: You look and sound the kind of kind who will accept any women as a girlfriend right now and it shows. You met her, she seems to smile at you and suddenly you are in love with her and wants her to be your girl. You have no game plans, you don't seem to mind what kid of girl she is. she is just a girl, free like you and so vamp, i'll have her. You need to have a good strategy for ladies to show that you are not that desperate to be in a relationship but that you are taking your time to study your future mate.

- You are just not her kind of man: so here is this woman who always want a guy who is tall handsome and have a good job and here you come. trust me, she is not ready to date you. She has a list, she gets all wet when a particular type of guy is in the neighbourhood, she will never give you a second.that's just it; she simply doesn't like you. you don't click with her. that's pretty much about it, no matter how much you try. With this type of girl, either you have a lot of charisma or a lot of money ( even with this chances are very slim), you will not get to say even that you like her. she will not allow you around her. Now most women have a list but some of us, will never compromise our standards.

I know my list is not totally exhaustive but there are few tips

Regards, ;-)




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    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 2 years ago

      I agree my post is written with some atrocious mistakes..i won't hide behind the fact that english is not my first language…I should have written with a lot more clarity…sorry folks.

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 2 years ago

      JssNY…I agree with you. I have had guys I'd rather be friends with because they are frivolous and hit on anything…But somehow those guys aren't worth even writing about because they are not serious and worth the time. Its for the good guys out there who unfortunately find themselves believing they could genuinely be friend with a girl so they can get her, I was more concerned on writing about that. it is possible though that you are an attractive girl and most guy friends you have around you, are fantasising on you…they approach you because you seem a nice girl and they haven't figured out what they really want from you as in relationship wise apart from admiring the way you look and the fact that you are friendly. keep boundaries.

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 2 years ago

      Nick, so you are telling us, girls should like you because you are nice? and available? what makes you think that you are a good person ? She doesn't know you…all she knows is the face you are showing her just because you want something…what makes you think that you are better than the next available stranger? just because you are interested? please wake up…in this relationships dynamics, you have to understand that women and men are wired differently…and certain men gets more lucky with girls than others because they have mastered some key behaviours….you need to humble yourself….you see that's what women really resent about guys who play the over friendly just to get with them, because it is often time a masquerade ;most of the times, they are nice because they don't want to hear no, they covert their behaviours as to manipulate the girl to feel bad to say no to them. They bury their real and deep emotions and feelings of insecurities by attempting to manipulate a positive response. It is scary and not pleasant AT ALL. you cannot make a woman like you just because you wish for it. You need to work at it, the right way. Same goes for women when they want a guy…women get rejected too…so before you become a serial killer or rapist, calm down a little ( just a joke)… ZMANN777 a poster above said some valuable stuff.may be you should read them.

    • profile image

      nick10687 3 years ago

      I know this is kind a late. Recently I liked a woman. I ask her out and can't stress enough that its OK if she doesn't like me back. I respect her freedom of choice to choose the one she wants to date.

      Bang! Just being ignored. That's the prize you get for being nice. You don't deserve a dignity or courtesy to know she is not interested.

      Isn't it funny, girls would talk to the guy and do all sort of things but as soon as she finds the other guy, you are nothing but a friend. As soon as the guy leaves her, oh you are my best buddy.

      If girl doesn't see the future or not like them in a romantic way why does she wants to hang out with a guy or talk a lot to the guy? Her bf or whatever is her crush should be filling those needs.

      Really? Girls you think if a guy gives you too much of attention and you just takes it as being friend? You never had a clue that what is he up to? Or he is just weak?

      Not her kind of a man? Well, why don't you just talk the complete strangers about your secrets? Anyway what does it make a difference as they are not your kind. Why would you make a man concerned about you? Go talk to your kind or your bf or your crush.

      Too friendly? Wow! Like you never reciprocated by showing the same friendly ness. Don't do it, simply go and show it to your kind or man of your dreams.

      How about talking about a man you like, in front of him so he leaves you alone. Why do you have to be selfish to wait till he makes a move? Why can't you remind him time to time that he is not your type in a friendly conversation?

      Its like abuse the man emotionally and leave him in the cold as soon as you can get someone better than him. At least for god shake don't try to put blame solely on him for not reading the signs.

      You say you don't want to hurt him so you keep ambiguity about it till he asks but you have no problem to make him think that he was just an idiot who was simply trying his best to make you as his woman. Don't tell ne you never had a chance to let him know in advance that he is not your type.

      Its really funny that you girls think that you know what kind of guy you really want even though having a string of failed relationships. Somehow always ending up with a douche bag according to you only.

      I thought girls were more sensitive emotionally but its hard to swallow it after knowing that you are happy to dump a guy who was there to support you for a guy whom you don't even know yet but he just has that so called sexy spark. It is really such a deep thought that I can't get over with it.

      Of course there are bad apples in guys and I can agree with it. Girls also must take and share the responsibility of so called guy didn't get the clue. Don't play mind games. We are not god so we can know the sign which has two meaning to it.

      Don't even claim that I don't want to hurt him by saying no. Its just a bs and you r selfishness to keep that emotional rapport as long as you can.

    • profile image

      Lester J Almeida 3 years ago

      One of the most honest write ups I have ever read. Spot on. Clears so much I had going through my mind.I have been In most of the situations you have mentioned at some point or the other.

    • profile image

      Shade 3 years ago

      I'm not into the whole friendzone thing. I have girl friends. But if I am attracted to you and ask you out, then he'll no. I'm a nice guy but not a doormat. Plus there's been many occasions where girls try to make me their Plan B or comfort zone. They know how well I treat women, but because I don't have a great job and certain materials they put me in a back burner. But ignoring works wonders. Women love attention. Don't give it. You'll see.

      I often asked myself: damn I know I am a good guy and we seem to have connected a bit. But why won't she even go with me? Give me a chance? I don't ponder it very long.

      Because what happens to guys that are friends is she eventually gets a BF. Now 2 things can happen when she does: she can drop you like a bad habit, or keep you around to dump and confide all her relationship woes to. That's why you need to ignore and move on. It's not worth it. What are you getting out of it?

      You shouldn't hVe to friendzone a person to find out about them. That's what DATING is for. But people don't do that these days. Nobody wants to invest themselves into the right person. They just want a person for their own convenience and situation.

    • profile image

      JssNY2014 3 years ago

      Oh and a side note nearly every guy friend I've ever had has at some Point tried to make it sexual. Some women really do just want to be friends and its always discouraging to think you've made a cool guy friend who has other motives! Unless there is clearly a mutual spark only befriend women you really just want to be friends with. Nothing is more irritating than finding out your buddy had only been talking to you so he can get laid. Just because a woman enjoys your company doesn't mean she wants to sleep with you :)

    • profile image

      JssNY2014 3 years ago

      I was friends with a guy who was a nice enough person but I really got the impression he was not the faithful type and was a little overly obsessed with sex. We were friends for years and eventually that's all he would talk about! No matter what topic I spoke to him about somehow it came back to sex! I filed him away in the friend department because while I liked him in other ways he was overly flirty and didn't strike me as serious relationship material. Then one day he dropped a bomb and told me he was in love with me and he'd do anything to be with me because he thought I might be 'the one'. I was rather stunned. I toyed around with the idea of 'is this guy even capable of love?! Should I even bother to give him a try? Maybe he's matured?' Then one day he brought how he was cyber sexing with some woman he just met on the Internet! I was like 'um I'm happy for you, I don't really get you but good' he asked me what I meant by this and what I meant was 'when you tell a girl you're in love with her and then discuss how you are hitting in other women online or anywhere she's probably not going to like you much' but I was diplomatic and said 'it means live your life cause we're best as friends'. Just one scenario I suppose it could mean she likes someone else or it means she's probably just not attracted to you either physically or intellectually. In my case it was the latter. We still talk but he's forever off limits as boyfriend material! Kind of a douche who doesn't know beans about women. So it could mean she just didn't like you or it could mean you blew it. In short it means move on you're sunk with her. It's the kiss of death!

    • profile image

      Sheri 3 years ago

      My name is John Sheri i'm from California i

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    • profile image

      vishal 3 years ago

      chance is always second last ....

      she said no then show her ...

      prove her i am the person who desrves yes....

      u love ...... and knw that no one can cr her more then u yr

      humne to stones bhi pighlaye hai ye ladki to ek ... gulab si soft hearted hai....

    • profile image

      lloyd 3 years ago

      Let's just be friends = get lost! Wake up and grow a pair,be polite (ALWAYS a TRUMP CARD) as in "you've got my number,If I'm available, glad to help out." Get some backbone and vanish,proto! Absence creates mystery, don't hope, MOVE on!! Plenty of gay men for her to be friends with.A wuss is never attractive to women.

    • profile image

      zman777 4 years ago

      Lou Lou

      When it comes to dating and rejection we are all chock-full of insecurities. Women are more in-touch with their own a lot more than men are! You may have spotted one of mine! Hah ha

      I agree completely that there is a time for everything. The men you are addressing here (the guy who keeps getting ljbf`d) has the action vs planning dynamic completely backwards. He is -planning , scheming, and imagining( how to win her) --while he should be acting on his desires. Then, after his hesitancy has turned the woman off with disdain he makes a very weak move (confessing his love or desire) assuring himself of his repeated failure to be anything more than a friend-- and a boring one at that!

    • loulou2 profile image
      Author

      loulou2 4 years ago

      Zman, there is a time for everything...some men need actions, some need plannification...This post could have be written by a Guy...but coming from a woman seems to have a different effect on you...may be you feel insecure about it, i don't know... but from the other comments, I don't see why other guys would feel insecure heading a woman's hint at what they might be doing wrong... Dating is a dynamic...I too make mistakes...admitting i make mistakes and wanting to change is not a weakness....

    • profile image

      zman777 4 years ago

      lou lou

      When it comes to this dreaded F-bomb scenario, I am only speaking about men who repeatedly put themselves in that position with women they want more from.

      Advice from women can be great--but for guys who are stuck in the overly friendly --convert to sex mentality, advice from female friends is usually nowhere near strong enough and usually just adds to the insecure frame that is already sabotaging their true desires.

      The bottom line is --Be a man who goes after what he wants with no apologies! Quit worrying about what your love interest thinks, might think, might do etc. Over thinking all this shit is most commonly a feminine trait, quit engaging your babe in connecting through shared feminine

      traits. We all have masculine and feminine energy! Don't allow your love interest to LEAD-- no matter how strong of a woman she is--she wants to FEEL your strength mentally and in her! Quit working out your feminine energy with her, and give her a big dose of your Manhood. Instead of feeling the sting of rejection through hint, innuendo, and trying to figuring out double meanings. Which is what women do amongst each other. Try to kiss her, touch her, and get her dripping! If you get rejected--WHO f`n CARES-- at least you get rejected going for what you truly want! You will feel so empowered by your new actions --you will most likely forget about your addiction to her and spring into ACTION!

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 4 years ago

      I agree on real masculinity...it's a deal maker!!

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 4 years ago

      Hi there..work on accepting rejection and evaluate why you want this particular woman in your life...is she good to you? can she make a good mother? Not only thinking about her as your desire to have her in your life; there must be something more to relationship with a girl than that. you should be considering what kind of companion she would be for you objectively. By subtle plan , i simply mean testing her interest for you, subtly. Not letting her put you down again. she blew you off and is even saying keeping as a friend is useful, yet you think of not letting go. you re validating her feelings that you don't seem to have astrong self esteem. Think about it, How can you let go of something you never had? from your posts, I could tell you , work on developping a vibe that rings confidence and a vibe of I don't care if you reject me or not, my life is full and I am happy with myself...from that place, you can truly appreciate giving something more to a woman than "I want her in my life" but rather, " I want her to need me"... just don't be afraid and don't see it as losing her but rather a stepping stone for meeting someone "better" along your way...don't get stuck with one girl blowing you off... remind yourself that it's always the guys with these dynamics that gets put in a friend zone...because women don't respect guys who don't hesitate to beg on woman's attention..it's not attractive.

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 4 years ago

      Zman, I agree with your POV about Men begging for the woman's attention in those scenarios and that is the main reason they are being rejected...it's not a problem in my post...it's the reason why I post.

      The fact about Women giving tips to men not "really" acceptable is subjective. I approach men if I need some insight now and then about men's little behaviours, but after some experiences myself, I make up my own mind...there is nothing demeaning about a guy asking a girl what does a girl means...My post is not the Bible, I have been there, I have seen a lot of girls do the same thing and mostly for the same dynamics...I am putting it out there for someone to find what works for them...

    • profile image

      zman777 4 years ago

      In every instance your advice is well thought out, the only problem is that you are a woman giving men advice about attraction. Since attraction is not

      A concious choice for women, most well meaning sweet women are never going to admit what really gets them hot, A woman wants to be around a man who seduces her through emotion to surrender to him! Nice friendly, Men may captivate a womans attention--but they almost never turn her on!! The fact that men are even asking women about such things shows right from the go-that they are unsure of themselves and trying to figure out a way to be a better man. Stuck in their heads lookin for guidance and answers! Get out of your head, and live from your gut and heart and you wont have to ask, People will be asking you!!

    • profile image

      zman777 4 years ago

      The problem in each and every scenario here is that the man has given away his masculine power to the woman and she is never going to find a guy like that attractive. The men in Lou Lou`s examples are begging for scraps from women who they have set up as "the prize"--instead of setting themselves up as "the prize "and attracting Women with masculinity instead of guile-- Women will out guile you every time, but they have no defense at all-- for real masculinity!

    • profile image

      leo 4 years ago

      This is a really good post. Thanks for your insight, Loulou2. I met a really cool girl. There was a lot of attraction between us but we also seemed to argue a lot, especially since we were still in the early stages of getting to know each other. She recently dropped the "f-bomb" a month ago--I didn't say yes or no--and I've stayed away from her ever since trying to get over her. It's been hard. When we first met, I told her that i was not interested in friendship--that I'm a bad friend and have no use for them. And I'm admittedly a bit of a loner. When she broke it off, she recognized that fact but said it was good to have friends--that friends could be useful. She asked me what my 5 and 10 year plan was--I don't have one, at least one with any real specificity--and that she was just watching out for me b/c girls care about that stuff. She also asked me what kind of investments I have. She comes from money. I've been in transition, professionally, for a long time--we met while we were both looking for work and I'm still looking but things are starting to go much better. She said I didn't have to give her an answer yet about being friends. She's really pretty and very socially connected. I want her in my life, but I've never kept an ex as a friend---truth is, I don't have any real friends to speak of. In your post on "You stick around when she says NO," you mention keeping your distance and "after your time of grieving you can decide on another subtle plan to move closer to her but after awhile and after you truly able to accept that she might never be yours so you will act around her as natural as possible." Could you tell me more about this--the subtle plan? Not sure if I should let it go, be friends, or something else.

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 4 years ago

      Personnally I make sure I assess if a guy is looking for more in the friendship very early on! If he is, I make myself clear in a subtle way sometimes , that I am not interested!

      Some guys don't like being called on their games! so sometimes, a girl have to wait until he says his intentions and she is more comfortable at this point to say No nicely hence let's be friends!

      Jack: if a girl want to hang out doesn't mean she wants to be with you in a romantic way straight away! it's very early stage of getting to know someone platoniccally! I agree I personnally would not ask a guy out because it might send the wrong signals ; generally we don't, but if she does there is a level of interest! my guess where you got it wrong is your "trying and get close" move that bottled her feelings up! How fast did you move, what did you do, what did you say! what did she say... what made her change attitude so quick about you? a gir who is not interested will not ask you out! how did she ask you out?

      You don't really need to answer those questions, I am just laying few thought out there! My two cents anyway

    • profile image

      Jack 4 years ago

      Move on

      i recently had someone ask me out ,then when i try to get close says i like you as a friend blah blah , don't play into their games , take time out if she really likes you , she will contact you (unlike this fine piece) which hasn't.Best advice get on with your normal routine, don't dwell about and it will go away trust me its been a month for me now. Their loss not yours.

    • dashingscorpio profile image

      dashingscorpio 4 years ago

      Every woman and man has experienced knowing someone that liked us more than we like them. Once you conclude there is no romantic future it is best to state so as soon as possible. It’s not necessary to be rude about it but simply let them know that you feel it would be a waste of both your time to go out again. Don’t offer friendship as a sympathy ploy to let someone down easy.

      If someone says, "Lets be friends" what they are really saying is: YOU are NOT the ONE!" If they thought you were "hot" they would not risk leaving you on the "open market". There is no such thing as being "exclusive friends". A plantonic friendship is the equivalent of being (siblings) with different mothers. The worst way to invest your time is hanging around someone with a hidden agenda of hoping to convert a friendship into a romantic relationship.

      Michael Bolton probably recorded the all time classic “Friend Zone” song; “How Am I Supposed to Live Without You”. Trust me you do not want to find yourself singing this lyric once your friend announces his or her engagement. “ How am I suppose to carry on when all I’ve been living for is gone….And how can I blame you, when I buildt my world around the hope that one day we’d be so much more than friends.”

      It is far easier for a mate/spouse to become a close friend than it is for a platonic friend to become one’s mate or spouse. One man's opinion! :-)

    • profile image

      bfbc 4 years ago

      i meet this girl at college, she said i have nothing to do this weekend? so i asked her out and she turned her back on me and said its okay, like i was nothing. i ignored her after that and she kept wanting my attention. i found a new job and meet someone else and she hated me. it broke my heart but i needed time away but i never stopped loving her and wanting the best 4 her.

    • profile image

      luix 4 years ago

      it really helps me to shorten my obsession in order for it not to hard my emotions especially to my case where by she said lets be just friends and i still over her my free time calling her on phone surprise her tell her stories and me taking the advert age of teacher her at the university cause she is weak in some subjects as she knew am one of the brilliant gentlemen at lectures room and from now on word hahahaha am a change man thanks to a very one who have contributed positively to me and many others who feel the stress of

      " lets be just friends " thank you all followers and the website lol

    • profile image

      Hang-dog 5 years ago

      Girls are so weird......say one thing, mean another......I'm 50, still haven't got a clue,lol

    • profile image

      ANON 5 years ago

      This is atrocious writing. The advice is good though

    • DHend2012 profile image

      DHend2012 5 years ago from Mililani City , Hawaii

      " I lived long enough to know fast relationships will kill you later."

      So true, or to say fast relationships usually end fast.

      The one exception where friends is cool, is when it is sincere. Best relationship I have ever had grew out of close friendship on its own with no hidden intent from either side. Doesn't mean make every girl your friend(planting sees as they call it) but just be open to more woman you can relate to( LOL, rare, i know).

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 5 years ago

      Glad it helped in a way...and glad you stopped by

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      Dan 5 years ago

      I liked this article, I asked out a girl at work who said because we worked together that we should just stay friends. But after the company if one of leaves then sure. But from what I read in this article I can see many of my mistakes recently when trying to find a girlfriend. It's not easy, its almost heartbreaking how hard it sounds. But because I have a nice outgoing and very loving nature I can notice why I have some unexplained rejections. Very useful post, I am going to save it and look back to it then next girl I start dating and be smart about it....

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 5 years ago

      Experience is the best advisor when it comes to dating. it's nothing to do with being crazy or not, it's a process.

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      SanXuary 5 years ago

      Women are crazy on three occasions I knew girls who never wanted anything to do with me until I showed up with someone else. Sadly, they lost at the time and I never tracked them down again later. Besides, I never want anything on a date because I lived long enough to know fast relationships will kill you later.

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 5 years ago

      i agree wiv sanxuary...have fun and enjoy other companies...it's hard but don't hope while you are someone's second choice...dare to just want to be her fisrt...and respect that she just isn't ready at all to give u a chance....

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      SanXuary 5 years ago

      There is nothing wrong with being friends if you still had a good time. Guy rule, girls net work and have other friends. In fact I come back with that's all I want to be as well and then start talking about activities such as clubbing, the movies or bowling whatever might seem fun to her. If she is out of a relationship then she is unhappy and has not learned how to make herself happy yet. Never discuss past relationships and never be a re-bound, just stay happy and fun.

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      Shaar A 5 years ago

      I read your article , it is really nice . I am in this situation now and I asked told we better satay stay away from each other . But I think she is genuinely asking me to stay friends because she enjoys talking and chatting with me , and I really enjoy chatting with her , but I took this difficult decision because I might be her second choice and I don't accept that moreover I want to search for another so if I am always chatting and talking with her I cannot move on, I know she is disappointed but so am I.

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 5 years ago

      Thank you for the comment Admiral...nice of you to stop by...good to know you find it useful..;-)

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      Admiral_Joraxx 5 years ago from Philippines

      Great tips here. really.. I could think of these things for myself and for others just in case the need arises in the future. Great work here loulou. 1 vote up, useful and interesting for this!=)

    • loulou2 profile image
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      loulou2 5 years ago

      Hi william, thanks for the comment... yes you can put it this way she is not interested in him. it's very simple. but sometimes she has some feelings go figure... but not in a romance kind of way nor for something serious...some friendship can progress due to the guy way of dealing with that particular girl but generally when a woman is not interested No just means NO and that's it.

    • William Norman profile image

      William Norman 5 years ago from Cross Plains, Texas

      Interesting article. It seems all the reasons have one thing in common. She says "Let's Be Friends" when she feels no attraction for the guy. Poor schmuck!