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- Advice & Tips for Men in Relationships
Why does she say let's be friends
Why did she finally dropped the " F" word: " I think you are a great guy, but let's be friends" ?
And there you are in disbelief, that the woman you are digging for has just friendzoned you. She is not interested in having you as her boyfriend. And so you wonder: what happenned? what did I do wrong? why can't she see how a great guy I am?...so many questions in your head
With this article I am trying to bring out the most simple and deep down secrets women will never tell you face to face about why is it that she just doesn't want you...Here is an exhaustive list of reasons:
- She might be in love with someone else; Guys, here is a bad idea ; You to get in your mind that you can have a chance with this girl because she is in a bad relationship or she is in love with someone who treats her bad. And so you decide that she is an easy prey. you want to show her how different and good of a man you are. By listening to her by giving her the attention you "think" she craves and you try to position yourself in front of her as a good match for her instead of the jerk or the uncaring one. Here is the bad news, in the eyes of this girl, she looks at you and think how easy for you to think that she can just swicth feelings like that? how dare you think you can have your piece of cake because she is so vulnerable in front of you? How insensitive of you to think that she should give you her affections when she is in such pain and longing for someone else? she will believe deep down that you just think she is "easy","stupid" for being in love with the other guy. I know it might not be what you think but it can be insulting for a woman to see her "friend" trying to dissuade her. Because there you are asking for her full attention; She will feel stupid to have openned up to you about her deep emotions for someone else;... So she will refuse your advances flat...she will say let's be friends. Her emotions takes on a different approach with you: my advice is, if you like the girl, don't let her talk about her heartache in love unless you are genuiely not so in love with her. Don't let her reveal stuff to you about her misadventures in Love . you as a guy will preserve her for openning up too much and let her, force her to keep things for herself , grow herself out of the situation by herself instead of reaching out for a male figure shoulder to console her . you will not win her heart by hoovering around her and demanding her love by pretending to be a friend. Clearly if you hoover around a girl who is not available emotionnally you are digging your own grave. she will know you want more but is just waiting for you to make a move and she will put you back to your place...so what's the point pretending...she doesn't need you to pour her heart out; there are girls out there she can find...so stop playing those little games ,hoping she will fall easily into your arms...if you like her avoid her when she wants to whine ; don't let her; because she doesn the pouting better by herself; she knows she is in a mess...instead change the subject and talk about something intelligent...she will think you are smart..trust me.
- She is waiting for a better guy: ok so she seems to like you but it's not cliking between you too pass the odd small attraction...you finally decided to make a move and she said, let's be friends. Chances are she wasn't probably prepared for you to ask or she has made up her mind you are not that person she is waiting for...but she likes hanging out with you . she must have chatted you up and saw few things she doesn't like. and she knows it won't work. One crucial thing would be not to try to be someone else though because chances are, if she doesn't like you now, she might never. and before you ruin things by hating her , you might want to cut off the relationship yourself because nothing you will do will make her change her mind.
- You are too friendly: guys who are too nice and too friendly when we gals know a guy can NEVER be friends with us for the sake of it. It just sucks and makes us look at the guy with disdain. Trust me it just aches to see a guy fooling himslef but playing the -I don't-like-you-but-i-like-hanging-out-with-you when in fact he thinks he is fooling us.Politeness wants us to keep him believing that we don't know what's going on and as long as he keeps his distance and torture himself without us knowing, we are fine. The trouble is this type of men think, they have made themselves clear enough by being too friendly and by being soo avaivalbe for the girl that she must definitely like him for allowing him to be all the time with her, chatting her up etc..The moment he finally decide he has had enough, and want to make a move, he gets the biggest biggest blow when she says, let's be friends. because he thinks: wait a minute: I am always around her...there is no other guy like I was allowed around her...so why does she says no. the truth is you made yourself available that way, she never asked you but since it's convenient and you don't seem to mind, she will let you as long as you don't ask for more from her. It's so annoying for a girl to have a guy behaving like that. It's like you are trying to trick her into not saying NO to you and it just doesn't work like that. Women are wired to smell when a guy is interested so stop those games. or you get what you deserve.
- You stick around when she says NO: here is a clue, if she say let's be friends, one good attitude to have is to never bring it up again and take your distance. That way, she might just thinks she was probably missing something about you and create a curisity zone and time for you to have something to discuss when the time come again. Stay away from her, don't go to where she goes, don't email, text...basically LEAVE HER ALONE. women don't like to be left alone, they like to talk; stop the talking with her and mind your own life. Show her that you grieve if truly you loved her deeply. women can be soften by this attitude. respect her decision and cut off all contact. some guys think they can stick around in case she changes her mind, well guess what she will not and the chances will diminished if you still hoover around her because you just validate her feelings that you are not a real MAN. a hard guy who can collect himself and accept the real truth. You show her by sticking around that you have low self esteem. and trust me a woman does not want to be around a guy that shows he doesn't care about his own feelings. it's important to show her that you care about yourself and want to stay away from her to protect your own heart. after your time of grieving you can decide on another subtle plan to move closer to her but after awhile and after you truly able to accept that she might never be yours so you will act around her as natural as possible. but please, give her a break and stop trying to maker her feel guitly for not loving you back. and get on with your life.
- She is just not sure of her feelings for you: She might be the type of girl who is very cautious about being in a relationship and she is scared of letting you in her heart. she might have been burned in the past and is afraid of reading you wrongly . But she really likes you , I mean truly...you probably dated her a couple times and wants to move on quickly into the next stage and she just threw a let's be friends. She might have some issues on her mind and Patience qill be you asset. GREAT PATIENCE. and perhaps you might want to take up a class on how to be a very good listenner because everything she will say to you will be in a double sens. she is trying not to hurt your feelings about something that truly botheres her. so it might be that you have habits and some things she doesn't like and doesn't see herself in the long run with you. Now let's break it to you: you might be bad at sex, at kissing, at hygiene...if your relatiosnhip hasn't grown as much as it should and here are those issues arising, it can be difficult to make her talk. she will talk to her girls or mom or sister but not you that she might be disapointted. she she wants to be friends, break it off... The man in the situation will have to know this so that he can bring the improvement required . Women are not great communicators and like talking with emotions, and stupid little codes instead of going straight to the subject. So it might be worth laying a good fooundation of excellent communication with her. not pressurizing her but letting her know that you are mature enough to handle anything she might and will tell you...tricky one
- You appear too desperate: You look and sound the kind of kind who will accept any women as a girlfriend right now and it shows. You met her, she seems to smile at you and suddenly you are in love with her and wants her to be your girl. You have no game plans, you don't seem to mind what kid of girl she is. she is just a girl, free like you and so vamp, i'll have her. You need to have a good strategy for ladies to show that you are not that desperate to be in a relationship but that you are taking your time to study your future mate.
- You are just not her kind of man: so here is this woman who always want a guy who is tall handsome and have a good job and here you come. trust me, she is not ready to date you. She has a list, she gets all wet when a particular type of guy is in the neighbourhood, she will never give you a second.that's just it; she simply doesn't like you. you don't click with her. that's pretty much about it, no matter how much you try. With this type of girl, either you have a lot of charisma or a lot of money ( even with this chances are very slim), you will not get to say even that you like her. she will not allow you around her. Now most women have a list but some of us, will never compromise our standards.
I know my list is not totally exhaustive but there are few tips