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Why does turning 25 feel like a mid life crisis?!

Updated on March 12, 2013

Or should I say, a quarter-life crisis...

Twenty-five is a rough age. All your life, you look forward to being twenty-one so you're allowed to go to bars and legally drink. Then you spend the next few years being glad that you can go to bars and drink. Twenty-two is cool, Twenty-three is cool, Twenty-four is cool and then BAM. You turn twenty-five and suddenly, it's not so cool anymore. You're only five years away from being thirty. You start analyzing every aspect of your life. Where is it going? Why aren't I married? Why don't I have kids? Chances are by now, you know several couples who are getting married and several couples who have children. Then you start to think "well my parents were married by now" or "all my uncles and aunts were married by now" or "wait my parents already had TWO kids by the time they were twenty-five!"

Then you start thinking about all the things in life that you haven't done yet. I still haven't traveled to Brazil... I still haven't published a book...

Then you start analyzing the person you're in a relationship with. Are they the one? If not, why am I wasting my time? I'm almost thirty! What if I'm thirty and all my friends are married and I'm not?!"

Maybe this doesn't happen to everyone, but it certainly happened to me. I always said that I would never move out of state because I'd miss all my family and friends here. Then I turned twenty-five, and all of a sudden I became extremely jealous that my eighteen year old sister was traveling abroad to go to school for a year in Italy. I'd never been to Italy! Hell, I had only been to two countries and that was years ago! What if I get married in the next five years and then I have a family and never get a chance to go to Italy? I started reading blogs about people traveling to different countries and looking at pictures of their journeys. I started remembering when I was back in high school and we'd take school trips to Greece and do all sorts of activities and life was so fun. I didn't even appreciate it then. Now I felt like all I did was work and come home and watch TV. I felt like I was too old to do some of the things I did in high school, but too young to settle down and have a family yet. Or was I? Maybe I'd be ready if I met the right person. Hmmm...

So then I started analyzing my current relationship. Did I really want to marry my boyfriend? I loved him, but I knew deep down that the thought of marrying him didn't excite me. So why was I with him? Was I just afraid of being alone? What if my future husband was out there and I'm missing out because I'm wasting time with my current boyfriend? I knew I didn't want to end up thirty and the only one out of my friends that wasn't married!

Then I started analyzing my job. I work as an IT Recruiter, so basically I interview candidates in the field of information technology and try to find them new jobs. I didn't mind it, but was I passionate about it? Did I love my job? No, I didn't love it. I did it because it paid well and it's something I had years of experience in now. So what was I passionate about?

Well, there are two things I've always loved since I was a kid: writing and music. I think it may be a little late for me to become the next Mariah Carey or Stephen King, but that doesn't mean that I can't do both in my spare time. You can always make time for the things you love.

All in all, I think twenty-five is an age where you discover who you really are. What I mean by that is finding who we REALLY are; what we've always loved deep down that makes us different from everyone else. I think as young adults, we know what our passions are, but as we get older we get so caught up in life we forget about it. In high school, you don't care about things you feel passionately about. You care about whose parents are going away that weekend, who's going to buy you beers and if your current crush is going to attend the party. Then after high school, you care about where you're going to go to college and where you're going to work. You don't worry about if you're current boyfriend or girlfriend is "the one" or if your job is the job of your dreams. But then when you turn twenty-five, you realize you have to think about these things. After all, you're reaching adulthood! What a scary thing. I'm still twenty-five though, so I'm still in the process of analyzing every aspect of my life and envying the people who have chased their dreams more than I have. I've always wanted to move to LA... publish a book... but hey, writing part time is a start to my writing ambition. I'll let you know how it turns out.

(See also, Conquering the Quarter-Life Crisis - Part 2)

(So a quick update, my book is now available on Amazon... so if you guys like this article, feel free to read about 25 year-old Renee Evan's attempt to conquer her own quarter-life crisis... I'd love to hear your feedback! The link is below...)


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      Kay 4 years ago

      I can relate to this article a lot. For me, a lot of my friends are in relationships and already have kids or are married. It seems like every other day someone is getting pregnant or into a relationship. I turned 25 2 months ago and I have never been in an official relationship. I am afraid that I will end up alone. I dated a guy about 3 years ago that I fell in love with... He wasn't ready for a relationship and I took it really hard. I realized that I was dealing with some self-esteem problems and fear of rejection. It caused me to make some mistakes and go into depression from age 22 and I still kind of deal with depression now because I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. I graduated from college 2 years ago and haven't been able to find work in my field until recently. Now that I'm in my field I know I don't want to do this forever and I'm still not making enough money to move out of my mom's house. I just feel so alone. I've been trying my hardest to get a good job. I've tried to look into moving out of state but I can't go because I don't have the finances to. I woke up this morning thinking wow another day and I am just wasting my young life. I don't know what to do. Thank you for this site. It's comforting to know other people my age can relate.

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      john 4 years ago

      hi well i

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      jdgib 4 years ago

      well I am happy that others do feel the same way I do. Unfortunately after reading every single post I still don't seem to have a solution. Im 25 years old and have been for 5 months. It kept telling people I feel like i'm going through a midlife crisis. No one would really listen most would just make a joke out of it saying "im so young". I may seem young to some but to me I am absolutely terrified feeling how short life is.

      My life has been interesting to say the least. I began using drugs at age 12 and spiraled out of control by the age of 15 with heroin and cocaine. To make a very long story short I went to Rehab for the 10th time at the age of 19 for 16 months. When I left treatment I had 600 dollars to my name and a girlfriend. I spent that 600 dollars on a room to rent with my girlfriend. within 2 weeks we both had two jobs, within a month we had our own apartment, fast forward 1 year and we were both doing ok financially and we began renting a home, after another year we purchased our 2nd home. my credit was poor so my mother co signed. I started my own business with a friend in 11' which has grown now to over a million dollar a year company. I ended up marrying my girlfriend and have had a very rocky marriage. Now sitting hear after 3 years of marriage and working very hard on my business i know feel like I am wasting time with my wife and feel as if I have wasted much of my life with drugs, depression and working. I feel like after being separated from my wife for a couple of weeks that I started feeling like my old self again, passionate, loving to make music, wanting adventure in my life, feeling very energetic etc. I feel very confused about what I am doing right now. Im having a very difficult time committing to marriage feeling like I didn't savor enough of being young. I feel like I just want to run away and be irresponsible and live life to the fullest ya know? I know that there is no book to life and what I should be doing right now burt I cant help but to have these feelings. I can only pray for answers. Thank you for this post and letting me know that I am not alone.

      Thank you

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      Cam 4 years ago

      turning 25 in two months.. i finally gotten into the area i wanted to work in after graduating and doing slave driving internships. Im starting to think is this what i want to be doing for the rest of my life.. i've missed psychology so much- i wanted to be a psychologist. But i had complications in my course. I've never been in a relationship and im starting to think why my life sucks so bad

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      Lola 5 years ago

      25 sucks ass. I live at home with my parents after graduating with honors from a great university and then failing out of med school because it turns out I had zero idea how to study (my fault, I know but I can still be pissed about it). I am in a dead end relationship with barely any friends and feel like dying all of the time. I thought by now I would be something other than a loser and a leach on my parents money.

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      Flashback 5 years ago

      Graduating in 2008 into the recession as a over educated under experienced jobless soul has taught me that if I did crap at school and just got a job flipping burgers at 16 I would be in a better financial position than I am in at the moment.

      All of the teachers are liars and brain-washers in school and even at University. Some of the teachers have never had a real job in the real world yet they give out career advice.

      To be honest education is the biggest waste of time, money and effort I have ever witnessed with 20:20 hindsight. I put in so much focus that I've never really had a long term GF, can't drive a car or a motor cycle, never had a forign holiday, got there own home. I have been living on benefits at my parents home since 2008. All this sacrifice for no reward, to say I'm a bit p*ssed off would be a understatement.

      Yet every one I know who didn't go to university has got or had all of the above...........

      And all that I've got to show for the last ten years is a piece of paper that says chemistry degree on it that employers don't give a toss about, well that's a sad position for a 27 year old to be in.

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      Kyle 5 years ago

      Wow, I searched the web on yahoo asking "do a lot of 24 year olds wonder about there place in life" and this came up. To be honest I feel better after reading these statements. I feel like I am still trying to find my place in the world. I have a good job that pays well, I'm not rich but definetly not struggling either. Do I enjoy the job? It's ok I guess. I have been doing it for 6.5 years. Am I passionate about the job? no. It is so much harder to meet girls now that I am not in school. Everybody is going in there own directions. People are getting married, having kids. I'm still single, work 50-60 hours a week. Is this really what my life is going to be like for the rest of my life? There has got to be more to life then this. In any case, I have made the decision to travel the world and take a gap year. I realize I am very fortunate then a lot of the worlds population, and am hoping that this gap year traveling helps me find some of the answers that I am looking for. I am glad to see that I am not alone with my feelings about being 24 (ok it's not 25 but in 6 months I will be).

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      Lsong 5 years ago

      I turned 25 two months ago, and I completely agree. It's nice to see so many people who are going through the same thing, or have gone through it. Thanks :-)

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      5 years ago

      A terrible and insensitive post. In one part you make the assumption that everybody is even in a relationship at 25. My brother is 27 and has NEVER had a relationship, he also plays music and doesn't consider 25 at all too old to become a professional artist if you are good enough - this is proven by the history of popular music; most artists worht their salt don't create anything great until at least their mid/late-twenties. As another poster commented your 'crisis' seems to be about keeping up the the Jones's. Rather than put people at ease by sharing your condition you make those with less experience than you or those who are older feel even more alienated.

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      jnGrl 5 years ago

      I'm turning 25 in 5 months. I graduated university and moved out to LA. All those years busting my butt in college paid off: I landed my dream-job right out of college. I'm doing what I love, I have my own place, and am financially stable- not to mention I am extremely happy. I discovered myself, who I am, achieved what I wanted out of life, and learned to love myself. So far, 25's looking awesome...... except I ended up missing out on relationship opportunities because I was so focused on reaching for my dreams that now I feel very insecure because I'm turning 25 and I'm still a virgin. I guess now I can have the fun I missed out on because everything else is taken care of... but it doesn't help my anxiety over it though...

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      Beirut and I 5 years ago

      I thought i was alone.. when i heard the "you're 25 now what?" voice!

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      Mjl 5 years ago

      I turned 25 this year, I will be 26 in a few months. I know exactly how it feels. It's like I was 8 three days ago. What happened? Where did the years go? I was 24 when I graduated from University in a tough economy. Couldn't find a decent job. I guess I wouldn't feel so bad if my engineering knowledge actually landed me a job. Most of my friends are getting married with great careers and bright futures. On the other hand, I am doing a job that pays bad which I really don't like for the last six years or so. I feel I am missing out on my full potential, still struggling to find my path. I guess the best approach to turning 25 is to go out and have fun. The last 2 years, I traveled around the world and met some great people along the way. While in University, I forgot who I was.

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      Loser 5 years ago

      I would rather die than turn this age called 26 which I have turned already

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      Cajun86 5 years ago

      I just turned 26 yesterday and feel like trash. I am so depressed that I want to die. This web page made me feel even worse. I have not been able to do anything I hoped to do by this time of my life. I know nobody will care in here anyway. I hate myself and wish I was dead.

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      HateMyLife 5 years ago

      I turn 25 next month and have not been able to do anything I hoped I would do. Life has hated me since the day I was born... Everytime I get somewhere in life, life just keeps smacking me down. I am at the point where I have given up, can't wait to die. Once I turn 25, I plan on staying in my bed till I die and rot.

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      27 5 years ago

      I am 27 and I've been depressed for at least 2 years. I dropped out of college to move to another country. I am happy about that and I consider that somewhat of an accomplishment although it took me too many years to settle down. But now I just feel stuck because I was young and stupid and didn't plan ahead. I still don't know what to do for living, been surviving on seasonal and temporary jobs. I need to get local education but I'm so afraid of commitment. What if I don't get a good job after I invest money in college? What if I hate it in a couple of years? On top of that I am finally divorcing my husband of 5 years. We got married for all the wrong reasons and he is clearly not the man of my dreams. But I've got so attached to him over the years that the separation is killing me. This has been my longest relationship and I have completely lost myself in it. I feel like no other man will love me as much as he did and accept me with all my flaws like he did. Not mentioning that I am not getting any younger and prettier. I also need to get back on my feet financially so job and shelter are my priority at the moment, and I can only dream of going back to school... Oh, and because of my depression I've become paranoid and anti-social and have zero friends which makes my situation nearly unbearable. I can't afford to move away or go on vacation to get better, have no idea what to do next other than every day convincing myself not to give up.

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      Ashok 5 years ago

      Who the hell are you??.........Man i am 25 and i feel like you just cut paste what actually happening with me.......Damn every line ,every word just the same.....Thanks for giving me something to think about............I mean it.......Thank You

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      dre 5 years ago

      Yea i am reaserching different articles that provide infromation on individuals turning twenty five. I am so stuck, i have a job that pays ok, but i dont really like it. everything else is going good, i have a GF and we are happy but i just feel like i am missing out on life. I feel like i need to get away and that i am not living to my full pontentiol. what should i do?

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      isabella 5 years ago

      I am SO happy I read this! I just turned 25. I've accomplished a lot but not everything I had hoped, planned, and worked so hard for in college. I moved to DC 3 years ago from the west coast and have been able to travel a bit and work some cool jobs. However, I'm not doing what I want and feel so depressed about it sometimes (which is rare since I'm very positive and optimistic, but sometimes you just hit a wall). I was recently demoted (on the day of my 25th birthday) from my job and decided to quit and bartend instead. The sad thing is, I was a straight A honors student in college who worked my butt off in DC for the past 2 years to only end up getting demoted. A real blow to the ol' ego, eh! I'm living with my boyfriend of almost 2 years and we talk of marriage but haven't sealed the deal. He's great but is he the one? I'd like to think so, but his ambitions aren't as grandiose as I'd like. However, the guys with the great jobs and ambitions are total jerks here! My bf treats me like a queen and supports the hell outta me in everything I do, but he still has some immature tendencies that a 30-year old should have given up years ago (things I gave up in college). I've never been this confused before in my life! I guess I saw myself finishing law school by now, taking the Bar, and practicing at an awesome firm on the east coast by now with an awesome car, sweet condo, and an assortment of fancy watches and clothes to choose from. I have NONE of that. But lately, I've taken it upon myself to direct myself into WHO I WANT TO BE. I've applied for jobs that actually suit me and don't necessarily have a fancy title, and have stopped comparing myself to my friends who have the blingy engagement ring, perfect job, and perfect life. I am not perfect like I once was, but I am closer to finding myself.

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      ray 5 years ago

      Turning 26 in a month or so, never had a real gf, still stayin with my mom (parents got divorced), sister's got divorced too, I somewhat fear what would happen in the next few years, before hitting 30 landmark and maybe even further. Currently working at a private firm, but how I wish I could do more to gain more money to enjoy a better life. I've only managed to get a college diploma so my options might be a bit limited. After reading most of the comments, I felt slightly relieved knowing that Im not the only who's dealing with these kind of problems. Be strong guys, cheers.

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      kimora 5 years ago

      I read every single comment on this blog, as I have been feeling the exact same way. I am 22 and went to uni studying my my undergrad BA in Psychology/Drama Theatre and Performance Studies at 19. I passed first year, and second year I had a lot of disrupts and it was because I moved back home and commuted, and when my mother kicked me and my sister out and paid for our houseshares, that's when my life turned upside down. I had to move out my houseshare before the contract was up, as my lanlord didn't want me bringing any males over, which is pretty sexist. On my last day I was packing, to leave my mother told me last min, she feels the next houseshare I'm moving to is too expensive for her. So basically I was screwed I had nowhere to live, and going back to live with her was not an option. The landlord at my new houseshare, was not there and a tenant living there told me he gave it to someone else. I then took the offer to stay with my older cousin, and I stayed at her place for a week then left due to stress and then three months at my nans on my fathers side. I then got forced to move back home, and my mother gave me hell! She did not want me home, despite I was in my second year of uni full time. I was not allowed to use the internet, as according to her I was not working to help pay bills. I had no love and support from her, and this left me into depression and I ended up failing second year due to being stressed and unsettled and even sick! My uni did not help me either. I got my studies terminated despite I passed my re-take exams. What's even more sad is if I had not moved back home in my second year none of this, would have happened. I regret not living near my uni. I would have graduated this month! And what's so annoying is the uni, did not give me a chance straight away, in 2011 to re-take second year. I threatened to sue them for not letting me know that that me appealing to stay on my studies, was a waste of time because they had already made the decision in sept 2011. If I had known I would have transferred to another uni. As I threatened them for wasting my time, and delaying my life plans Psychology decided to let me back on 2012 sept this year, but what's the point if they can mess with my life again? I am going back to uni this year in a different uni to get my degree, I won't let nothing or no one get in the way of my goals and dreams! And no one should in life allow that. Know your rights. And fight for what you believe in everyone. Its delayed a lot as I was even going to pursue a career in singing and music, after I graduated but I've decided that I will do both as now I am running out of time.

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      freeee 6 years ago

      You're nowhere near Mid life crisis haha at 25? are you serious but i know your just talking about the feeling you got we are way to young to be thinking like this im 24 and when I turn 25 the last way ill think is like this, lets face it 25 is indeed young very young if you actually think about it.

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      freeee 6 years ago

      You're nowhere near Mid life crisis? but i know your just talking about the feeling you got we are way to young to be thinking like this im 24 and when I turn 25 the last way ill think is like this, lets face it 25 is indeed young very young if you actually think about it.

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      Cee 6 years ago

      After reading this hub, I feel so much better. I thought I was alone in the world. I felt like I woke up one day and just realise that I had wasted 7 years working in a job I didn't like and putting everything on hold till I completed my degree. Its been two years and I am single but this time it is not by choice, I still work in the same job, no children and 30 is knocking very loudly. I do hope 25 gets better. Thank you though for this post and making me aware that I am not the only one.

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      Nicole 6 years ago

      I'll be turning 25 tomorrow. I'm

      single, no kids, still living at home with my mum. I've been

      working since I was 18 and now, panicking that I have nothing to show for it, have just take out a loan so I can buy a car next week. I'm still not happy. I've been working in boring admin jobs for the last 7 years and I finally found a job that I don't hate waking up for, isn't boring with nice people to work for and I'm still not happy.

      I've been single for 2 years, never had a serious long term relationship. My longest relationship has been 3 months and my last boyfriend felt I rushed him into being in a committed relationship with me. Men don't even look at me like they did when I was younger. I never thought at 25 I would wish to be 18 again. I had my pick of men and now I fear I smell of desperation. Sounds pathetic, but my friends are in long term relationships with kids and I've never even been in love. Happy birthday to me- single, ugly, unloved and only have 30 ahead of me. Cheers

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      Anshy 6 years ago

      I'm 25 now .. and you just tells what I feel deep in my heart but also I feel that I became too old like 82 I'm not satisfied with all what I did or get I'm working in information technology too and I don't like my work, I break up with my boyfriend .. and I want now is a new start a new city anew people around and a new everything , but in my country in my religion and to my family I'm prevented from moving alone and I believe that's the way my life will keep on and I will be crazy in the coming few years .

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      spoonage 6 years ago from New Jersey

      It's funny how ubiquitous all of this is. I came across this hub after writing one of my own about the very same type of situation. Suddenly all the passions that you felt were ok to push to the side come rushing in, demanding they get their due before it's too late. Now I am in the midst of figuring out how to acknowledge them without going homeless or hungry. Thanks for the commiseration!

      Here's the hub I wrote:

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      Jasmin 6 years ago

      Love this - Interesting though, this was written awhile interesting to know how you feel now coming up to what would be 30? xxx Peace

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      Jennie 6 years ago

      Well, sounds like you had a good life though... My teens were not about parties... they were about surviving depression, remember that not everyone enjoys their teenage time. I have spent half my life already on worrying, planning, trying to figure out what to do with life, and I'm only 24. So not everyone has an easy, good time when they are teens... Just a note :)

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      Anonymous 6 years ago

      I am 21 and passed my grade 12 one year ago i'm not studyng coz am struggling with finance. My wsh is tht when i reach 25 i'l be nt datng coz datng causes me a lot of stress bcoz i always get wrong guys for me.

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      khaled 6 years ago

      great article ... ur hub actually crossed the atlantic lol cause im from egypt and im turning 25 after couples of monthes and since a while and im thinking the same way u r thinking im waiting for the right one .. i don't like my job but it paid well .. looking back for my pasions and like i lost it .. even when i watch a movie or a song i enjoy watching and listening stuff from my earler twintys years age ... thinking about my relationships years ago and how i cant love anyone those days like always asking my self she is not the right one ... so i went to google desperate and typed " feel like my youth stopped years ago " waiting what the google's tide would bring :) and ur page showed up and i found im not the only one ... but feeling u r not the only one is not a cure actually and even with reading the comments below we r all hitting the 25 and turning 25 we need the old folks to tell us about it :)

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      Eric 6 years ago

      I think this is was what's wrong with me... I feel like shit.

      I cant stop thinking of my past and all the things I did wrong in my last relationship that I screwed up. Now im a total looser and am miserable. My life sucks, i feel like I can't love anything anymore.

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      Miss v 6 years ago

      In my early 20's (21-23) I was single (by choice), carefree and traveling while holding up a ave paying full time job and living at my studio by the sea. Life seemed beautiful because I had choices of men throwing themselves at me or at "my life". I was popular and always the one who experience more. Then suddenly, I found out my stepfather had a two year affair. My mother was a complete mess and so was I.. I felt as though I was her. I dived into a deep depression (and all the feelings of rejection and gulit from childhood spring to me all at once) hence, the other reason why I didn't want to be in a relationship with any men no matter how good they were..

      Then I met this man I fell deeply in lust but ended quickly(like all good things)

      I spent my 24 soul searching and getting back on track to "find myself again" or to be "that carefree" girl again. I started to open myself to new experiences and people.

      I just turned 26 this month, have been in a two year relationship with a partner whom is loyal, loving and a great company, I'm back living with my parents because at 25 I decided to pursue a different career. I want to see how far I can go. My degree is for 5 years. And I haven't even got through the full first year yet. I'm living in the lounge room for the past year because since I'm not working. This is better than nothing.

      My social life has been pretty non exisistent (I hardly drink or party anymore) I spend most of my time focusing on my studies. Any free time is left to family, tv, boyfriend, good friends and my health & wellness.

      Sometimes, others will ask, why do I make these choices of studying again. When I can be earning lots of money at a big firm(which I was when I was 24), have my own place and not live out of a shoebox.

      But the way I see life us, whenever you are, you always wish for something better, you think the grass us greener on the other side. Sure, I'm only 26 and although those thoughts in the article did come up in the beginning. But you have to STOP and be grateful and realize, that the fun only stops when you stop. It's a choice, just like happiness. Early 20s is a ballgame of dating games, late nights and travels. Mid 20s will be a whole new different ball game. Why would you want to be stuck in one place for the extended period of time? You can still have your old self"because its YOU" but minus the stupidity. Being 25 is a new experience of it's own. Sure I can be out partying non stop but when the party's over and you wake up and your 40. You'll wish you did more.

      There's alot of 25 year olds that are forced into marriage in this world or millionaires having to confine and define their career by what is left and expected of them by their parents. FEAR IS ALWAYS THERE. But hope is greater than fear. Learn to appreciate your situation because once your onto your next, you'll wish you were back where you were.

      I may be living in a lounge room of my parentals and at times the downgrade drives me mad but I'm closer that ever to my 14 YO brother whom I'm learning more about life through he's eyes. I have a great partner where sometimes I'm bored of the relationship (because of how much of a wildchild I was) but I'm willing to learn and appreciate the stability and love that is offered to me. I don't analyses how narrow the men pool is (things women, mothers, gfs, panick over) I just think, "love takes time" and when it comes to marriage. Like everything else in life it's a working progress and as long as your mind is open and your heart is warm. Things will work out.

      I learn so much about being able to save on a student budget that even if I graduate at the age of 30. I'm still confident that I wi be well off. There alot of people with high paying jobs at any age where they simply don't know how to save. That's what keeps them chain to the desk and their bosses.

      I'm proud of taking the step and the choices of pursuing my education of becoming a dermatologist. Choices I wouldn't been able to make if I was 20. As you grow old, people change, things fall apart, but you MUST try to see things through eyes of half full. Life will give you more.

      And as for my friends whom I haven't seen in months due to study? Well all 20 of them turned up at my birthday dinner this year. I'm so grateful for life, for giving me a second chance to experience a different sort of love(my partner), of getting to experience and offer guidance to my little brother, of learning to love my parents even though have flaws and make mistakes like the rest of us, of appreciating just how lucky and blessed of my friendships even though I don't have enough time to see them.

      Most of all, learning that at 25. It's really just a number. You can be 35 and feel the way you do now. But take a chance and soon you will see that you are very lucky than the rest in the world. :)

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      25 years mother nd wife 6 years ago

      I just want to be carefree find a job to support my 2 dotahs nd leave my unsupportive husband.

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      johnterry 6 years ago

      I will be turning 25 tomorrow. I am still not settled but I always think of positive things that will come up in my life.

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      Jenn T 6 years ago

      Ha ha I'm turning 36 and I have never been more at peace with life. But when I was 22 I felt how you feel. Do what is in front of you and let god handle the rest. Plus get Botox and your age will go up but your wrinles won't. Oh and by the way I'm getting married for the first time at 36. Take your time remember not in your time in gods time.

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      Megan 6 years ago

      I turned 25 6 months ago. I found the following ways to deal with my life: first the less you say the better. Lie about everything, then do whatever you want. Spend time with people your own age who are doing the same things or are in the same life stage as you. Apparently most everyone finds some significant other by the age of 30, maybe 35 the worst. But if you're still single at 35 and don't want to be hopefully by that age you'll only have to worry about one thing, rather than a whole bunch of things. Also if you are studying or wanting to study just do it part-time and keep working, then you get the best of both worlds. Also its never too late to study and lastly you're only going to get older. Another thing, just go and do the things you like, because thats the best way to find like minded people, especially a future partner. Embrace age, maturity is good, doesn't mean you cant still have fun, maybe you just have to reduce it to certain people and places. And stop thinking about yourself becoming older start thinking of it as a way to become a more trusting person who people can rely on. Everyone even young people admire qualities like that, and you cant be trusting and responsible without also being mature. Otherwise think of the mess the world would be in. Just make sure you have somewhere you can vent your immaturity into. No body wants to be mature all the time or expects you to be, just were it matters. But some people will come down on you, like my family and my ex, and I say to that, nah ah, I am way too young to throw away the chase. Settle down they say? Settling down is for people who are fulfilled and satisfied with their lives, thats not me yet and I refuse to settle down with a bunch of stuff I don't like. The way I see it, if Im not tied down with a mortgage or a life partner or kids, Im still free to chase my dreams. If you can keep your sense of humour life will never be too hard and don't expect too much just work on getting the experiences you want. If you think age is a stigma now wait till your like 70. Also if you're in a relationship but don't think they're the one, maybe you should leave them, but my suggestion is wait until you r over your mid-life crisis first, because I know perfectly well that after leaving my boyfriend, I still don't know if it was the right thing to do, but I have a feeling once this mid-life crisis is over I will know then, although I really did not want to be with him anymore so.... I think my senses were right, and now that Im single I feel kind of relieved, because life is short after all, who knows maybe when Im 30 Ill regret it, but maybe if Id stayed I would have regretted it then as well... I hate this quarter life crisis!

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      myc 6 years ago

      kurt cobain died at 27, he's in the 27 forever club? nvm

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      Quake-sama 6 years ago

      What if u are turning 25, and you feel like u´ve trhown away all your youth, u´ve had no life because of being studying day and night, no relationships and almost no friends,and when u open ur eyes u are all alone, and you start wondering what would have happened if u had made things other way?

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      Kate 6 years ago

      Me too.

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      Liz* 6 years ago

      Wow I can't believe I came across this and I can't believe how many people responded to this blog! I know its been said by a lot of others but I too felt Luke when I was reading it that I wrote it! I'm 25 turning 26 in a week and I've been feeling the same exact way and thought it was just me in my head. I can't believe how many feel the same I must say its a sigh of relief. Unlike the writer I left home at 18 and was lucky enough to find a job in sales where I could travel the country and I was making 6 figures a year at such a young age that I got sucked in. It wasn't the most professional job it was totally legal and I loves it I sold steak and seafood door to door and got to live all over CA, NV, OR, and four islands in Hawaii and I felt so blessed to have experienced that at such a young age. Unfortunately by my 25 th birthday the office I was currently in in Hawaii shut down and I never wanted to leave the islands after being out there for so long but I was forced to go back to the mainland due to lack of jobs and the economy. Long story short I'm now living back at my parents having being young and foolishly spending the majority of the good money I had made over the years and now I feel like I'm back at square one. I didn't go to college because I was doing so well at such a young age I didn't think I needed to further my education but now that I've had a taste of the good life and traveling I want more and I want a career that can take me there and I feel like at 26 am I too old to start over and do all the things I wanted to do when I was 18? I wanted to go to school for fashion and be successful in LA or NY or be an actress or be a marine biologist or get my helicopter license and travel to Italy and Paris and Australia and go back packing through Europe. I've learned so much and have been blessed at such a young age but was it worth it? I'm also now single as of the last two weeks for the first time in 5 years and I am also afraid what if I end up that 40 year old women who's the only one not married with a family? I too have noticed after coming back to my home town from being gone for almost 8 years that the majority of my friends are either married or have kids or both and as happy as I am for them its exausting and kind of frustrating. I guess my question is when did 25 become the new 35? Is it because of that, that I feel so rushed to have so much more accomplished by now and if so why is everyone in such a hurry? What happened to taking time to enjoy life and not jump into being our parents? Well for anyone that's read this ill take any advice you have and for those of you reading this who aren't yet 25 my only advice to you is live your life to the fullest and don't be afraid and listen to anyone but your own intuition just make sure you have long term plans to go along with the short term and don't be afraid to experience life to the fullest. Embrace it because we only live once and remember to live in today because tomorrow is never promised! Aloha*

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      Cooter 6 years ago

      25 is old, that's why! Grandpa!

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      rb101182 6 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Martina - I just graduated college in January and I'm 29 now! I switched majors from communications to business which took longer, but definitely worth it. It's never too late!

      Chris - I actually started doing staffing consulting, so basically I work as an in-house recruiter on contract assignments - so they pay a really high hourly rate, I make my own hours, and when the contract ends I can take as much time off as I need until I find a new assignment (most contracts can last up to 6 months - a year, sometimes longer). And I still write on the side :) I highly recommend it!

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      Martina 6 years ago

      Hi All, I've turned 25 in January and I have exactly the same feelings,thoughts and problems . What a surprise :) But I am glad to see I am not alone.

      I've got my Bachelor degree last june , I studied business administration, I thought I liked it. But recently I realized that what really makes me happy is when I communicate with people and when I can help them, I did a research and I found out that I am really interested in Psychology and that Psychology fits the things I like to do. But can I let everything and start from scratch ? If I do that I will be around 30 when I graduate, is it too late or I should go for what I feel is my passion ? I am really lost and insecure of making such a big step and I would be very grateful if someone would share his opinion about my situation. Should I concentrate on what I have achieved till now or should I go for something totally new ?

      Thanks a lot in advance

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      Chris 6 years ago

      Wow. I am also an IT recruiter, 25, and absolutely cannot stand it! I take sick days to assist on photo productions and shoots, and plan to assist more and make it into commercial photog.

      congrats on the book, really. that's a feat!

      are you still working the day job, or writing full time?

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      Amanda 6 years ago

      i hit 25 in december 2011 i don't feel old, but how ever the sittuations that you see around you start to make you feel older, friends start to have children, settle down and get married,others are out following their careers and even travelling and all of a sudden everything and everyone around you know is changing and suddenly its not just a case of going out and getting drunk and finding that perfect outfit and the perfect man.It starts been about family and careers, i have started to look at life in a different way but i do not once regret anything i have done and have not done at the end of the day everybodys life is different and you can't compare yours to another persons.I find it harder to make new friends now than i did before, all of my friends have kids and i don't so i don't feel as connected to them as i use to because i don't share that life experience with them yet, im trying to concentrate on a career in the make up industry weather or not it gets me any were who knows but i love doing it and i love my partner who im gonna marry in 2 years and maybe one day we will have kids. Enoy your life its YOURS nobody elses and you are as young as you feel! when your 70/80 and you look back on your life would you really have seen your self as been old at 25/30/40/50/? NO YOU WOULDN'T SO JUST GO OUT THERE AND LIVE AND STOP WORRYING!!!!"XX

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      Millsy 6 years ago

      Reply to Brett. 

      Sounds like u've got the itch to discover, explore and have a good adventure! I envy you, at 22 the world is your oyster, you have the freedom to choose where you head in life, with no, or few, strings. Life is short so its important to be happy, to find out who you are and to be fulfilled. 

      My advice would be to follow your dreams, it will keep you happy, challenged, allow you to continue learning about things you are passionate about, which in turn makes you the sort of person that people want to be around, if ur really successful you could end up becoming a teacher or mentor for others. Mountain climbing will teach you some great priceless life skills, like sometimes things don't turn put how you planned or you just have to keep going even though it's not as easy as you thought or that the view from the top will be worth the climb! A degree can be done at any age, it definitely helps get a better career and more money, maybe put it on hold for a year while you go climbing and learn some valuable life skills? A good career can also fund amazing adventures and mountain climbs for years to come!! 

      Good luck with your decision!

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      Alex 6 years ago

      I have many problems in my life and have been to so many spell casters with no results and as a result of this, I

      ended up in a huge debt.One day I used internet and felt some kind of strange but kind and gentle force as if

      someone was guiding me to search for spell casters. I can’t remember the words I typed in the search engine but I was directed to And that was it! I felt so lucky to have found spell caster. It all happened so naturally and easily and I am glad it did. No words can express the feeling I had.Despite all the bad experiences I had with FAKE spell casters on the internet in the past, nothing could stop me from reaching my dreams, so I ordered a spell from I had sleepless nights and was was very worried because I promised myself I won’t approach a spell caster for help but did as it was time for me to help myself, stop crying and stop feeling sorry for myself.I also knew there was someone out there who is capable of helping me.

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      Bret 6 years ago

      Hi all, I'm not 25 but i will hit 22 this year (sorry if my naivety shows) and I think I may be in the midst of a quarter life crisis.

      I'm in university studying bio-medicine with good grades but in the past 4 months I've lost my passion for the course with a year and 2 months to go. The course traps me into a commitment I cannot tolerate, and a career in this discipline will only separate me from people (emotionally) further, I feel. The course, i believe, narrows my mind, into an analytical view of the world, one which i feel is detrimental to my emotional health. I'm 21, not comfortable with people except those who can put up with me long enough to see that I'm not actually the dick i probably come across as. Even those I am highly reserved around. I feel as though my friendships (no real girlfriends who I have connected with) are incompatible with the life I want to lead. I think they are trying to help but inadvertently holding me back, due to the mindset which I have fallen into. I want freedom, and they tell me what i should do to improve my life and mindset. I would find that amusing if I wasn't referring to myself.

      I do have one saving grace though, I know my passions: I love the outdoors and I've recently started hiking, rock climbing and mountain biking at any opportunity. I want to quit my degree (and screw the work I've already put in since it will never make me happy), get any job with no responsibility and pursue my passions to the fullest extent possible, possibly even work towards moving to the alps or somewhere similar, so I can do some alpine mountaineering with like-minded people. Maybe in years to come I could be a mountain guide? I think that actually might be my dream job. I love the freedom of just exploring the wilderness, having nothing to worry about except yourself, what you have with you and what's over the next mountain. I love not having to worry about scrutiny by peers, the public, employers, friends, family and colleagues. I don't want to be upset these people, but I also don't want them getting in the way of my life, which is what commitments entail.

      But then I get told by all the people around me to stick with the degree, maybe these ideas will pass and I'll start to appreciate my work a bit more. I don't know if they are are right, but this is my life: surely only I know what is best for me and I don't know if people will ever convince me otherwise. I will not stop asking these questions (of any who will listen, much to their annoyance, I assume) and I don't plan to stop searching for what I'm looking for.

      I'm very interested to know what anyone thinks about this situation and would welcome any comments.

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      Millsy 6 years ago

      Well it's been really interesting reading all these posts!! The quarter life crisis really does exist. I guess most things in life until then are planned/assumed/dictated/expected to some degree...once u hit 25 your a free agent! There is no map, there are no rules..ur free until the next part of life which is about marriage, kids, the house....and that can happen at any time over the next 10 or do if u don't have anything else in mind that u want to achieve then that's what ur going to end up thinking about...and unfortunately marriage, kids, house are not as straight forward as getting a job or buying a car or going to uni. 25 is young!! Your 20's are the years for discovering who you ate and what you like and what you want to achieve in life. Enjoy the journey and take time to smell the roses!!

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      JOSH 6 years ago

      i want to thank all of you for sharing you thoughts,reading all this lets me know im not alone.maybe this is commom in everybody,but alot of people are just too afraid to admit it and deal with it.good luck everyone.

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      JOSH 6 years ago

      i didn't go through that at 25.but i turn 30 in 3 days and the last couple weeks i get major aniety,i feel lost and im scared of getting a grown man and i have found myself breaking down and crying the last week when i think about my age.not in front of people,but when im alone.all my friends are married with kids and i haven't been in a long term relationship since i was 24.i still feel as good as i did when i was 18.but i loved my life from 16-24 and the last 6 years have been the hardest of my life.i still don't have a career and im workin a dead end favorite thing to do since i was 5 is console gaming.i almost feel like that since im turning 30 and im not married with kids that its never gonna happen.i don't want to have to become a 12 hr a day workhorse that never gets to enjoy what makes him happy just to have a place in trying to figure out if this is normal.are there others out there from 25-30 that are just afraid of growing old like me.ive never felt so overwhelmed and alone in my life.

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      Jack Smith 6 years ago

      I'm 27, and 1 month away from my B.S. degree, work full time since age 20, part time since 14 and was NEVER unemployed... No kids, semi-girlfriend... The problem here is not your age. The problem is that people become selfish, greedy, money-driven, social status obsessed, lying, cheating, stealing, back stabbing pricks. They begin to do whatever they can for THEMSELVES at any expense, even if that means you or your friendship with them. Once they HAVE what they need (aka the girl you liked, or a girl that happened to NOT be knocked up by someone else, has a rich family, etc), then you become competition and a THREAT to their "claim". The problem is with our greed driven society, and the corproate world brings it out in all of us. Since most people enter the corporate world at 23-25 (me at 20), that's when they start letting the GREED and REALITY they notice affect them, and they start playing the screw or be screwed game that applies in the corporate world TO THEIR REAL LIFE. Blame the corporate world, and the keep with the Jones's mentality. I don't see any point in getting married (you actually pay MORE taxes if you both have decent jobs), and I damn well know that I don't want kids. I KNEW I didn't want kids SINCE I WAS ONE. All the condescending "you will change your mind someday" quotes that people who got knocked up (not by choice) use this leverage to compensate for their true unhappiness for giving up their freedom. Hang in there, stay free, MOVE TO A MAJOR CITY with a liberal mindset. You will be right at home with other 21 to 60 year old's that also enjoyed the "alternate path" to a fun life. In the burbs, you will be frowned upon because they are all pissed off for being trapped. If you still aren't trapped, then trust me. Move to Philly, West Coast, NYC, whatever.. In fact, come to the party at my apartment. Drinks on me. Cheers and good luck.

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      joseph 6 years ago

      im 24 turning 25 but im not going to sound like yall because im trying to stand out i belive life is what you make of it no matter what is your age you can steal accomplish any thing you want you have to under stand that no one is going to feel sorry for you but you people just belive in your self im im turning 25 but im not going to give cause of what all i know i can stay young forever if you think im pulling your head reply to this message in i will let you on to a little secret only a few know about intill then keep faith people and as of today just start living life like you never did before become a couger if you have to

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      pre expat 6 years ago

      Im a 19 year old guy. I just got back from a trip to Thailand. The trip changed me in ways. I now have about 10x more motivation to reach my goals. my goals as of now are save up as much money as physicly possible and go back to east Asia. Eventually find an income over there. which I am always researching about. oh and I am learning Thai.

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      isha khan 6 years ago

      omg ,omg i m 25 n i xactly feels the same way ,i cant stop feelin this way ,like i wake up in the middle o night n i have anxious thoughts of gettin older n older day by day ,i know exactly how it feels ,its i don't know?? ,how it ill be??,,have i enjoyed the 20z enough ??or how can i make my 20z awesome n have all the fun before its too late n then career ,everythin mixes up n gives me tht buttefly feelins in my stomach ,good to know n now i can know tht officially i m passin through quarter life crisis n i m not alone out there lolz ,,love it

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      Gabrielle 6 years ago

      I'm leaving 25 right now soon I be 26 and I feel So happy reading this:) it's so true !!! Made me giggle a little.Time not waiting for no one it's crazy how life passing you by So quickly.

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      Jade 6 years ago

      I am 24 right now, but I have been questioning my life for a very long time now. I think it has a lot to do with the idea that by a certain age, you need to have accomplished something. At this age you have had sex, at this age you move out, at this age you have a career, at this age.....etc.etc. The media only reinforces that belief.

      When I was 16 I had this idealized picture of myself in adulthood, like many people do. The problem is that in childhood and adolescence, things didn't 'fall into place' either, so it's very strange that many of us believe that when you're older, it suddenly will. It doesn't.

      I almost have my bachelors degree in Communication and in my last year the college I study at got involved in a huge scandal concerning fraud and illegitimate degrees. It's gotten very very bad press to the point students can't get internships and jobs because employers don't want us. It's made me wonder why I worked so hard the past 4 years, also because halfway down the line I discovered I didn't to get into this line of work at all.

      So right now, like many of you I am asking myself what I want to make of my life, what will become of me. It's funny, I was watching "The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button" the other day (hadn't ever seen it before) and at the end of the movie, the main character tells his daughter something in a letter, which really hit home for me:

      "For what it's worth: it's never too late to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again."

      Especially that last sentence. I think it's true. Our lives are defined by our opportunities, even the ones we miss. Sitting here worrying about getting older doesn't make it better. Days still pass us by. Years will pass us by. And if we don't watch it, we'll still be where we don't want to be. You can look at others who seem to have everything going for them and be jealous, or you can look at the cards you've been dealt and make the best out of that.

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      Lj7 6 years ago

      I am turning 25 the end of April .i have been analysing every aspect my life it really only came together in last 2 years where I felt I was at rock bottom.i have finished college,now I'm renting ok money little tight I feel I just work play bills ,I like spending time with family or but I can say I love my job ,for now I'm happy and feel lucky as I have been trough difficut times.

      The one area tho Is my love life ha,,I have been questing my sexuality, wile now as can't ignore it, Im single most of the time for the last 5 years. I'm independent , I have had strong feelings for my best friend Who I went to school withII'm starting to trying to meet girls, and that make me happy, my mum knows that helps. I'm more accepting of myself so I don't have a clue where il be in 5 yearsthat department.

      You can't really plan your life as it just happens u make the changes and decisions .

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      Sam 6 years ago

      I turn 25 at midnight today and everything on this blog hit me two weeks ago. And I have to say, I have been a little depress since lol. But I am gong to embrace it. Everything I achieve and everything I have yet to. I hope when I turn 30 I'll be in a different place. But I think God I get to see it, not a lot of people got the chance to see they 25th birthday.

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      KWag 6 years ago

      I'm so thankful there are other people out there feeling how I feel. I thought I was going crazy!!

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      25jak 6 years ago

      I am turning 25 next month. I am still in college. Have no had a relationship in years. I am confused as to who I am becoming and it is scary. I feel myself changing but try to fight it because the person I am becoming is the person I would never think I would be...conservative. I find myself even questioning aspects of myself that make me who I am (sexual orientation). Learning makes it all that much difficult. The more I learn, the more I change..the scary it becomes. I have no job, and have has a long line of shitty dead end jobs in the past. I am questioning my degree and if I should go back and get another. I love what I study but it can be draining. I don't know if it is "me". I don't even know who I am anymore! I can tell by my facial structure that I am getting older, and I look worse then I did back in the my early 20's. I find myself having to define who I am now, paying more attention to things I would have said freely, but now I realize maturity and definition requires not doing or saying the things you would say. Turning 25 is horrible. I don't think I will make it to 30. I wish I could just end it all honestly.

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      Vinay 6 years ago

      Itz really getting excited reading the blog and the experiences getting from our commentz..!! What a wonderful day..!! I could see soo many as me today..!! I just thank GOD..!! and ask him to Bless you all..!! Have great future my friends I am gonna turn 26 this September 2012..!! :D and still trying for doing Masters in USA, presently preparing for USA student visa interview..!! MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL..!!

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      Jim 6 years ago

      I turned 25 today and feel the same as everyone else. I was actually surprised to find this article and this group of people that feel the same as me. I am constantly thinking and critiquing my current status in life. As the article explained, the first few years in your twenties are great. Most people are in college until 22 or 23 and as we know college is fun. In college you know what you will be doing the next days, weeks, and months that follow; you go to school. However, you soon gratuate and what is the next step. The United States economy is in the toilet. Prices of everyday goods are getting more expensive.

      So we are 23 or 24 and have been graduated for 1 or 2 years. Most of us move home or somewhere and get a job. The job is good for a few months. Then we start to worry, is this what I want to be doing? Is this job good enough? Should I go back to school? And as previously mentioned, we all have friends that are in law school or med school, friends that are married, friends with kids. Then we start to analyze our life to our peers and we stress ourselves.

      I need to wrap this up. I initially had no intention of writing how I felt, but after reading about the other people, I decided to share what I was going through. I think that we all have questions about what's next for us. Where and what will we be doing in a year or so? Who will we be with? And the truth is we don't know. Unlike high school and college we do not know what is the next step for us. This can be a scary thought and experience. We are to old to be parting a lot like we do in our early 20's. And I personally feel like I am to young to marry or just not ready for that. This part of our life is hard and unpredictable. It's up to ourself to make something of it. We all know it's not fun getting old but it happens and we can not stop it. Make the best of it and have fun.

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      Marli 6 years ago

      It's like it was me writing this. I'm going through almost exactly the same things and feel the same. Thank you for letting me know that I'm not alone, :)

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      asian supreme 6 years ago

      yea reading stories bout other people turning 25 makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. I'm turning 26 in a couple weeks, life is still the same after high school, i'm trying to get back into the university life, but iunno, still playing video games!!! I gotta get my life together or win the Scratch and Win!!! ahhh and it's Valentine's Day! oh snap peace

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      Rushlynn 6 years ago

      I'm turning 25 in 2 days! I can definitely relate to this post. Thanks for sharing!

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      lpanterac 6 years ago

      I turned 25 4 months ago and I was reading the quarter life crisis book at 22 LOL. I have my first baby on the way. I didn't appreciate how that 49 year old woman said to wait until you have a good husband to have kids because thats not in "God's plan". You don't know if that will ever happen. Also, being married does NOT guarantee you won't be a single mother. Life happens at every age. Happy 25 everyone :)

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      Rikki 6 years ago

      I'm turning 25 tomorrow... and I feel like I wrote this myself. Every aspect of this blog is me right now. Thank you for writing this, I don't feel so alone now!

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      ashish 6 years ago

      i've completed 20 years.. and i was having almost the same questions as you. Because i'm gonna graduate in computer science engineering in a couple of months, and i've been placed, but i still feel like shit. No sense of achievement through and through. Maybe its the rub-off effect, seeing all those characters in movies and visualizing some from novels, how those people always get something passionate to do with their lives, save the world and shit.

      For me, I read Ishmael a few months ago, and since then, i'vent been able to get over the feeling that a)getting a job b)marrying a nice girl c)having a family d)growing old just like others is done by a billion other people and i for a damn don't need to repeat it! I mean surely i want a very unique end to all the days of my life. Because most of the days i ask my self this before taking up any work or thinking about any new venture/idea: To what end man? For eg., "i'm gonna make a lot of money from selling Android apps.. F*** yeah! then bam - To what end man? I'm gonna roam around in the beemers and audis alright but still i won't be just the one guy. Even if i was just the one guy, hell, i wouldn't be doing anything worthy of remembrance, 'cause trust me, its one thing why people do most of the things, and they don't know consciously. Achilles chose to fought the war of Troy because only that way his name would have resonated for centuries maybe millenia, even though it came at the cost of his death.

      So its just basically all about prioritizing the things we want to do in our life. The things we have been putting away of late, and realized just now that, "oh shit! i gotta do this while i

      m xyz years old"

      Heck.. i don't remember where i'm going. I'm lost


      BTW, your article was good

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      Juelz 6 years ago

      Thanks Carerro. good stuff in your post, im turning 25 soon and hit a point where i just don't know what i want to do with myself, don't know what "career" interests me.

      Life, Life is a strange miracle. I have learned in my qtr century to keep striving for happiness, do stuff FOR YOU, and keep your family close, cause they'll be gone before you know it, and damn it, when im old and slow, im gonna miss my mom pronly more than anything.

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      asdf 6 years ago

      Everywhere I find articles like this it's the same thing

      Is getting married the only thing in people's minds ?

      Why are they so much desperate to get married anyway?

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      YC 6 years ago

      I'm turning the big 25 at the end of next month. All the things I wanted to have accomplished by this age I haven't even started. I fell off track somewhere and became comfortable. A wise person once said

      "Things happen when they happen. no age is gonna make life happen to you quicker besides natural body aging"

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      Miss_hopeless 6 years ago

      Carrero,I think I will try out your "God experiment". I am feeling especially depressed today. I question my faith, sometimes I think there is no use in believing, but I many times y feel empty. I am 32 and finished my PhD over a year ago, I haven't been able to find a job mainly because I am honestly scared of starting something new. I feel as if I were frozen or paralyzed. I am married (no kids yet)and am happy with our relationship but I just wish I had more happiness to offer. I guess another thing that doesn't help much is that my husband is an atheist but I definitely do not think we have to share the same spirtual thinking and who knows maybe he would be interested eventually. Reading what you posted gave me some kind of hope or at least another perspective. I will give the "experiment" a try, I do need to find some kind of purpose in my life.

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      Nate12 6 years ago

      Hi, right now I am 20 so I still have 5 years to go before I'm 25. It feels like a long time from now, but It really isn't, I mean It seemed like I was 15 just yesterday. Average age to get married for men in 28 and for women it is 26 so if your a 25 year old unmarried guy, you still have a few years, and if your a girl, you have 1 year but hey who's counting? Marriage has no time table, its about finding that special someone to spend the rest of you life with. Some people find that person in college, and some people in there forties. at 25, that will be the least of my concerns. As far as jobs, at 25 I want to have a decent paying job, and hopefully do what I love, but if not, I will look at my options, and by age 35 I want to be happy with my decision. for me 25 is just getting started in life, your like 3 years out of college for crying out loud, so I hope y'all will relax and just enjoy being relatively youg, because by 40 you'll wish you regret complaining and stressing over a "quarter life crisis.

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      Carrero 6 years ago

      When i turned 25 I recall taking a good hard look at myself and realizing that there was a lot I didn't like: my metabolism had slowed down and I'd gained about 10-15 lbs, the girl I thought I was going to marry had begun seeing someone else, I was beginning to feel that I'd "settled" for a less-than-stellar career, and making respectable, honorable choices wasn't high on my priority list. I'm thirty now and the last 5 years have taught me a lot. Allow me to share the three most lessons with you. Firstly, you're twenties exist to, and really should be invested in, setting you up for your thirties and beyond. Now is when you suck it up and finish school, learn to enjoy a variety of foods, experience crazy adventures and take crazy risks, get your heart broken (a lot), develop a taste for wine, music, and culture, dedicate a night just to yourself and figure out what you REALLY like and what REALLY makes you laugh, do some charitable work and see if it affects you on a human/emotional level, become aware of just how naïve/proud you truly are, learn to show genuine gratitude, and (VERY IMPORTANT) learn how to create long-lasting, deeply committed friendships. After all, how will you ever find out what makes you unique if all you ever do is the same thing everyone else does/has done??? Also, develop the skills now that will benefit you for a lifetime. For example, develop study habits now so that you can succeed in going back to school later in life should you decide to. Too many students (myself included) focus too much on grades and forget that they are PAYING for an education that employers expect them to have retained! Secondly, don't pursue school/work to the detriment of other areas of your life. A wise friend once told me to continue focusing linearly, but to remember to grow spherically at the same time. As with most things in life, there's nothing truly as depressing as getting exactly what you want; the true joy is in the journey. Listen carefully: nobody is ever happy once they reach their "desitination" because the first thing they do upon arrival is to just set another destination! Don't believe me? Here's your life in a nutshell: graduate college, get a job, meet someone, get married, buy a starter home, get promoted, start a family, buy a bigger home, get your kids out of the house, retire, die. Ever wonder why movie stars are strung out on drugs and why Harvard business grads and trust-fund babies decide to commit suicide? They have achieved, or played out the end-game, on this vicious cycle and are either desperate or depressed at the idea of living it out. So get really good at enjoying the small things in life: chew your food slowly enough to really taste it, make eye contact with people when speaking and realize that they are a complete person outside of the context in which you know them, actually listen to your boyfriend/girlfriend, (a good one) learn to recognize when you've truly touched someone's life, realize that truly wise people don't offer information until they're humbly asked, appreciate the beauty of nature. Think back on your most awesome memories; are they of your life's milestones or are they of the flawed, unintentional moments you've been lucky enough to experience in life? Thirdly, consider that you were created with purpose and for a purpose. In my mid-twenties I realized that even if I couldn't wrap my mind entirely around a loving God and sacrificial savior, that the reality of both were far more comforting than they idea that we're simply the best that evolution has to offer hurtling through space and time with no real purpose. I'm an incredibly logical person and conducted a test: I committed to a short period of time where I would commit entire belief and reliance into/onto God and logically expected either (1) a clear response if He were real or (2) the uneventful arrival of the end of the time period. I started reading the first book of the new testament (Matthew) and prayed daily that if He really were real and cared about me that he would reveal himself to me. At my lowest point, I got my answer. I'd often wondered why I'd want to live another 60-70 years if I already knew what awaited me. Now I can honestly say that the best relationships have stemmed out of bible studies (my wife) or church and mentoring opportunities (close friends), that my most cherished travels have been while on mission trips, and that I've never felt bigger than those times that I've made myself the most small during service projects. It is enormously humbling and awe-inspiring to know that I was created for a purpose (even if I haven't figured out what it is) and that I can cast all my worries on him. Or if you don't want to go the church-y route you can google for "purpose in life" and follow any of the hundreds of suggestions for digging it out of yourself. Just remember that "going to college" is not your purpose in life, but it may be one of they many paths/doors that leads you TO your purpose in life. God bless.

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      Mr Scythe 6 years ago

      I turned 25 4 months ago. I've done NOTHING with my life so far, and I feel like I never will now. It's weird, I don't feel particularly old, but I have a relative who always mentions that I'm creeping upto 30, and it does make you think, doesn't it?

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      phillyguy 6 years ago

      turning 24 next month, still living at home.I have no bank account, no job, no girlfriend and have just a high school diploma. I kinda of isolated myself against the world the last couple years going down the wrong path.I feel hopeful, i am just happy i am not alone

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      manas 6 years ago

      hey all 25 turned folks , let visit goa and have a blast in goa . sunburn festival 2011

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      M.A 6 years ago

      I'm turning 25 in five days time. I'm single, a full time student, have a mass of ever growing dental bills and I've been struggling with a BA at uni, which I hate.

      And I've recently made the decision to transfer into a BM this year despite only having 1 year left for my BA.

      My five settled sisters and my brother think I'm a useless "Gunna" (Gunna do this, gunna do that...but never does.) My parents bemoan the fact that I start things and never finish them, and that I've never had a steady boyfriend/husband like my sisters.

      It's just in the past few months I've finally decided what I want to do, and in the past few days I've connected with like-minded people to start the project I have in mind.

      It didn't really hit me hard the idea of turning 25 until my mother started to question why I'm still renting and don't own a house. Why I haven't brought a boyfriend home to meet them, (because you wouldn't like the one-nighters and rebound guys [who cry on my shoulder about their exes,] whom I inevitably attract, Mother.)

      And I started to get mad. Not at my family who were either straight up ignoring me or trying to tell me what I should be doing, but I was mad at myself for letting them do it.

      I threw down the gauntlet, I said this is who I am. So what if seven years ago I thought I'd be a published novelist and a famous script writer, not to mention at least in a comitted relationship?

      Those seven years happened inbetween for a reason, and I now need the next five years before I'm thirty to work out why they happened and what I learned from them.

      I'm not wallowing in what other people think of me, I'm still young and, rather than do what others want, turning twenty-five makes me feel like *I* can finally decide what I want, how I'm going to get it and stuff everyone else.

      I'm going on a ten day silent meditation retreat in early December. I'm writing, drawing and spending time with my dog. I'm buying outragously fun things for my nephews and nieces that their parents would never buy for them. I'm planning a trip to Prague by way of Florence, Verona, Venice, Berlin and Vienna.

      What I'm trying to say is that I feel turning twenty-five isn't a crisis, it's a launching point. I finally feel like I'm in control of my life and don't have to bend for others.

      Symbolically speaking, those five days can't come quick enough for me, bring on being a quarter of a century.

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      paul 6 years ago

      I'll be turning 25 on dec 21 and I must say I am also very worried. I am unemployed and single with no college degree, basically I'm screwed, lol. I really feel the urge to go back to school and make something of myself by the time I hit 30.

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      cat 6 years ago

      Hi turning 25 december and i feel old...but then again i felt old at 20! i think weve all got to stop being silly...we are so young still...we should be enjoying our 20s! my mum goes mad at me when i say i feel old! Lol xxx

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      sadman 6 years ago

      damn the guy that wrote this is 28 years old know must me sad im turning 24 2morra n i feel real old

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      Liliana 6 years ago

      I love it

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      lianne 6 years ago

      thanxxx for this article! im sitting here feeling depressed and im gonna be 24yrs old on sunday and im just glad im not the only person who feels this way. I just don't kno where all that time went i already feel like my time is running out. I got married just last year and it seems everyone keeps throwing it in my face how they have children and i don't. i feel i have nothing in common with my friends anymore i don't even like to be around anyone accept for my husband because i feel he is the only other person that knows what im talking about.

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      Liz 7 years ago

      Im so happy i found this! i turned 25 a few months ago.. i too jus like every other 25 year old am suffering a Quarter Life Crisis myself!the past few days, questions have been pilling up in my head more so than before questions about how i been living my life, i jus happened to give myself a drastic make over! i dyed my hair and cut it. i started goin to church more than usual and i used to think it was so borring, as if im a little bit lost and need to find my true identity! even when im at the store Ive been more interested in the newest kitchen knifes or the latest coffe machines for my apartment!when never in my life have i had interest in those things! i been wondering more about the people that i let into my life, ive been very selective on whom i call my true friends and had an urge to reconnect with old friend to find my old if i been so busy being in a hurry to be older that i forgot how to be young..older people always say Oh Please your still young! but in a way if Feel too young to be old and too old to Act young!!! Im Glad im not the only one! i guess its a part of life..i hope i don't feel this goes away!

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      peter 7 years ago

      Hey! Im 25. Love it. I think I just got out of the Quarter-life crisis. Going to Italy backpacking this summer.

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      jigili 7 years ago

      I was so glad to find this blog today! i'm turning 25 next week and I'm really down. Just finished my Bachelor degree in Medical Physics, but can't do anything with this degree unless i get my Masters. But i'm too tired of studding right now, want to get a job and make some money. If I have any plan in mind for the future, that would be buying my own condominium by the age 30! but how can i do that with no job! ... so much pressure. My dad doesn't talk to me, cuz i told him i don't want to get my Masters. There is just too much pressure! I miss my 21st birthday. Life was so easy, so stress free...

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      Clarice Galleros 7 years ago

      hey im 25...(may 3)..let's see what will happen to me...hopefully not the same as what happened to your relationship..(sorry)..but im engaged and were planning to get married..oh well...25 HERE I COME!!!

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      Jackie 7 years ago

      If anything, turning 25 has really, really spurred my butt into high gear more than nothing else has before. I've always been really ambitious but unfocused, but now I realize it's truly now-or-never. These are the twilight years of my youth. I've been earnestly searching for my passion for the past 3 years, and I wholly agree with your thought that it is at 25 when you realize what you truly care about. The degree you worked towards half-heartedly thinking that it's what you want to do for the rest of your life... is put into sharp focus against the backdrop of your future. It's not make belief anymore.

      What doesn't help further is how I see aging as a degradation. If you aren't wildly successful in your 30's then I consider you a failure and a loser. If you're not out there pounding the pavement with everything you've got, I have no respect for you. Harsh, but I carry this attitude with me everyday. It's what fuels me to work that much harder to achieve great success.

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      msmith8 7 years ago

      I'm 26 and I went through the same things. I found that with the present area it is difficult to focus on all the things that one wants to do in life, but it help to have a few things that define us. For me it was traveling and academics. Up until that point I loved traveling to Europe, Africa, and anywhere else, and teaching. These 2 aspects of my life and working toward them as a business professional and educator working towards my PhD/JD have brought me much happiness. Seeing the world is amazing and returning to my cabin in the woods on Ely Lake from the long weeks in the Twin Cities is how I'd always wanted to live. Its a long road but with the status of the current employment/economic situation I feel like I'll be trying to get my feet planted firmly until I'm at least 35.

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      sam 7 years ago

      Believe me its all down hill once you hit 25-you will notice the first of fine lines around your eyes, your skin wont look so great as it did in your early twenties.Your metabolism slows down so no late night kebabs and snacks, which leads to the fact that you have to push your self that extra hard at the gym.Your biological clock begins to tick, you notice your mates are chatting about settling down, and suddenly your worried as your age begins to creeps towards the dreaded 30! And now your also worried about your career-or lack of career,one night shags are now a no no but good men suddenly seem scarce. Life is such a bitch and so is mother nature-its sooooo unfair most men as they age they become better looking but women its all down hill. Well i don't have to worry as yet im still a nubile 18.

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      lily 7 years ago

      At 25 i was married and settled with my second child on the way and i am just as happy as i was back then, i have the health and love of my kids and hubbie a wonderful life, believe me when your in your thirties you'll look back to when you were 25 and you'll think what the hell was i worrying about. Life is too short don't waste your time about such trivial stuff enjoy your self other wise you'll look back and regret wasting your time over such a small mattter

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      DanceWithChaos 7 years ago

      I will turn 25- a few hours from now and I'm having this dreadful feeling.. I'm not excited about it, rather fearful that the next 5 years is a make or break for me!

      5 years ago I have pictured myself as rich and successful but at 24.99 I'm still far away from that goal!

      I think 25 is the age where you get serious with your career path or goals in life. No holding back: figure out what you really want to do and stick with it. Don't be worried if you think you have wasted the first 5 years in your 20's. Early twenties is all about trial and error.

      25 is too young of an age to assess whether or not you have made a good run of this life. By the time you're 30, you'll be laughing at your 25 year old self for thinking you're too old.. Just enjoy this moment--I have heard somewhere that 25 is when you'll look your best, so that's something to be excited about:P

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      Kiaburd 7 years ago

      Life isn't about age! It seams most of us are posting from a westernized view point! We are taught that career, school, marriage, and making money, are all things to strive for in life. Then when some of us turn 25 and we don't have those things, we begin to question our placement asking, "what are we doing with our lives, Why are we not... living up to all the standards placed on us by external influences"? But I think there are far more important aspects of living than getting married, having children, and status. It's all relative, some people in a less wealthy, or carefree existence would be blessed to have half the "problems" we speak about on this blog post!!! I have definitely worried about my age! I am 25 and only half way through a bachelors degree, (some how that bothers me) But it doesn't really matter what we do it probably more how we do it! There are always, always more perspectives to tap into! There is a lot of magic here on this plain. Just be playful and open with people! Seriously, no one is ever too old to play!!!

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      mafia25 7 years ago

      so glad other people feel exactly the same, I've just got to figure out what to do with my life and find the heaps of confidence i need to try and achieve the things i dream of, I think i'm lost at the moment.

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      NJ 7 years ago

      I actually typed into google 'I feel old at 25'- and this came up. I have to say your post expresses exacty how I feel and how I have started to look at my life since recently turning 25. Fortunately I have had the opportunity to do a lot; college, travel, persue music, & try out several jobs. My degree is in english, and right now I work as an actor (I'm in screen actors guild, & AFTRA, don't have another job besides freelancing, and am living a lot of people's dreams), I'm finding that something is missing; while acting is fun, it is not fullfilling. I've invested time and money & live in LA, but eventually want to live somewhere in the country and have a rewarding job where I actually "do" something. Looking at my life-a lot of people expected me to go this route, and it seems I have the perfect job and boyfriend here. But if it's not my end goal, why should I keep pursueing/investing in this? I took a step a few months ago and applied to go back to school for biology. This probably makes me the first person to use money & my job acting to pursue school, opposed to having a "normal" job in order to pursue acting. Science has been something that I have loved very much since a young age, but it always got pushed aside with people singing my praises for dance & music. I never really figured out in college that I should have gone with my gut; I changed majors several times before becoming involved with the English department. Acting, music, and dance will always be a part of my life as interests, but I feel strongly-espeically since turning 25-not to let something that can be a rewarding career to me pass by. (does anyone else understand where I'm coming from?) Good luck to everyone in figuring out your dreams! Things do change as you become older.

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      nick 7 years ago

      God bless you and the people who commented ande completed the article.You made my day.

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      Tania 7 years ago

      Im turning 25 years old in 2 months and feel like my life is either falling into place or falling out of place. I have a great paying job, a healthy son, a loving boyfriend, whom we will be getting engaged this year and now decided to deactivated my facebook, my twitter and I feel that friends that were friends are not friends anymore.

      I have realized that people change and then only think about themselves. I may sound depressed about the turning 25 but I have learn allot in the years (after 20). I have people whom only invite you to their parties and when ever you invite them to your parties, they never have money... excuses. Even when I told about the good things happening in my life then they don't have a comment but if I mention the bad things in life, then they care?

      I have decided to live the next couple of years with my partner and son. Forget about fake people and social networking. I think that when I get to 30 then I hopefully have ment the right friends and people.

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      Dina 7 years ago

      I am amazed at all these negative comments. I am 24 and I really don't think it is old. I see the entire 20s as that post-adolescent phase before adulthood. Even 29.

      To me, 30 is the age you start getting settled in your career and possibly your apartment or house, finding the right person for you, thinking about a family, etc. Not 25.

      I am also amazed to hear people talk about their "lousy bachelors" or the "five years wasted" on their undergrad degree. I loved every moment of college and I am extremely proud of my bachelors degree! And I was an English major, one of the most useless majors according to most people, so I could easily be sitting here moping about how I have a useless degree and the job market is horrible. But I love it.

      I don't have a great paying job. But I am able to teach and help people. I'm teaching English in Eastern Europe (i'm originally from the US). So I get to travel. I get to extend my adolescence (no mortgage for me!). And I live very comfortably on what I make, enough to travel to other countries on break, because I am not interested in "keeping up appearances" like the other posters here.

      That is an opportunity I have that I am grateful for and it's all because of my degree...The same degree other people here are calling "lousy and useless" Hmmmmm.. It really all depends on your outlook, doesn't it?

      And how can I possibly see myself as old when I'm traveling and I'm learning new things every day?

      Your "crisis" has nothing to do with being 25. Look at what this is really about...It's all about keeping up with the Jonses...This is a crisis of wanting to have it all. Individualism at its finest. If you don't learn from this, you will have more crises at 30, 40, 50, etc.

      I am extremely excited to turn 25 next week. And even more excited to be 30!


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