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Why it's not wise for girls to marry men with fidelity issues
There is absolutely no sexual terms, suggestions, or implications to be seen or read inside this piece. This hub is strictly intended for educational purposes to teach girls how to know whether it is wise or not wise for them to enter the bonds of holy matrimony with a male who she knows for sure has infidelity issues.
In today's super-sensitive society, certain terms and phrases such as: "whore monger" and "whore hopper" have been watered-down to: "cheating," "insecurity areas" and "infidelity issues" because these terms are not as harsh to the ones who are guilty of having these "problems."
In the not so distant past, if you really wanted to degrade a man, all you had to do was call him a whore hopper. And that was that. The man who was tagged with this name found it all but impossible to get out from in under such a derogatory name.
So to finish this preface, the two terms, whore hopper and whore monger have been in our society since time I would wager.
Caption for above photo:
Girl: "Sweetie, who was that girl you just waved at? Do you know her?"
Guy: "Whaatttt? Not on your life, honey bunny. She was an old friend from high school."
Now girls who are engaged to be married, can you now see how easily the guy lied his way out of telling his steady girlfriend the truth?
The definitions of
a whore monger is mentioned in a dangerous list of other men to the King James Version of The Bible, in Ephesians 5:5: “For this ye know, that no whore monger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.” King James Version (KJV)
But you take the term, whore hopper, it is according to Urban Dictionary, a noun.; a derogatory term generally used to describe a sleazy male in a position of power, who uses his position to have morally-indecent relations with females; literally, i.e., a person who has less than trustworthy relations with whores. The term does not appear to be in widespread usage, but tends to be applied more to sleazebag good ol' boys from the American South. Newspaper/magazine editors, certain U.S. Presidents, and record company executives are common targets of the attribution.
This is harsh
as it should be. This is "that" part of life that we had rather deny that it even exists and just pretend everything's just rosy each day. But before you get confused, let me explain that this piece is not about whores or prostitutes, but the men (a term I use loosely) who have a pattern of infidelity.
I am not going to point a finger at any male of today or in the past. These guys with fidelity issues had reasons that you and I will never know. Frankly, I do not want to know their reasons for knowing would not make me a better person in the long run.
Not all guys with fidelity issues are evil at heart. That I am sure of. And it would not be very mature of me to simply bark at you, "Just look at those guys with infidelity issues! They all have evil hearts." I really do not desire to have you laugh at me nor do I desire to look like "The Fool on HubPages."
Have you been the victim of a companion with fidelity issues?
What got me to thinking about fidelity and infidelity
was, as it happens, a few years ago I was standing in the check-out line at a local grocery store and of course, the tabloids were in my presence and there was this one story that caught both my eyes. The glaring headline read: "Women Who Love Men With fidelity Issues And Why They Marry Them." I thought this was a comedy piece, but with reading a few paragraphs, it was a serious piece along the lines of those stories about women who love convicts on Death Row and why they find romance with them.
But in my own common sense I cannot see why any single lady would dare, knowing ahead of time, that her husband-to-be is one their town's most popular men among various females who reside in their town. I know. The fiance' who has been guilty of infidelity with the bride-to-be, suddenly found a blinding change of heart and with a gallon of salty tears, he vowed to his new bride that he would never be guilty of this sin ever again. Okay. Now a question: How many chances does the new bride give this guy?
"Miss Trusting Girl" believed him. Why not? Everyone deserves a second chance. So why not her reformed unfaithful guy? But his vow did not hold up long, for in a few months, he was coming home from work one evening and three evenings later, he showed up at home to a devastated bride with tears dried on her dress and face shredded with worry. To say nothing about a living room full of grieving family and friends who were there to support the trusting bride but at that time did not know for sure if he had "fell off of the Fidelity Wagon" and fell back into his old habit of "running around" with other girls.
My headline (at the top of this hub) is clear. And needs no interpretation. There are solid reasons why girls should not marry men with infidelity issues and I am sharing ten of those reasons with you, the brides-to-be at this point.
10.) Trust: can a new bride really, in her heart, trust a known cheater completely? Unless she is from the fabric which Mother Teresa was made from, she is always going to have a "cross of suspicion" to bear. Each time he is late, the suspicions arise. Which woman is he seeing tonight? Not a stable marriage.
9.) Physical wear: sure he has not fell short of his marriage vows. He has went to work and back home for months. But those times when he told you that he had to be out of town for business, but you find out later that he wanted to see a few girls who lived way out of town. You notice the toll his cheating ways were taking on his body almost made you file for divorce. Physical health is as important as mental health.
8.) Fantasies: are in his imagination most all time. When he reads the newspaper, you notice he is glued to the lingerie ads and so on. A deadly fantasy is only a rock's throw from being a reality. Engaged girls, you need to think of this.
7.) Public opinion: is honestly, not that crucial when it comes to marriage. Some people will always find something to squawk about even with perfect couples. So if you are about to say, "I do" to a man who told you days ago he has a long history of being a cheater, well, you have the most important (and crucial) decision to make. Whether you want to be a man who "says" he is no longer a cheater or go ahead and marry a cheater and be talked about by the neighbors and family.
6.) Your children: and this one is very SERIOUS. I will not get into specifics, but if your husband is struggling with his past life of that of a cheater, and has an infidelity issue, is it wise to even have children with him so his shaky, unfaithful ways will rub off on them?
5.) Marital stability: is important in my opinion for a couple to have a solid marriage. But how can you have a stable marriage with a man whose mind is always on some girl he dated in one of his last down falls or you catch him talking on his cell phone to an old flame who he dated years ago? To me, and I am not an expert on marriage, this is not a stable marriage.
4.) Mental strain: will be on you every waking minute if you marry a cheater. But there is that bleak, outside ray of hope that he IS changed and does not desire the pleasure of another woman's company and this is not a slam against pretty girls. But like I have said it is all up to you.
3.) Communication: between you and your husband will be slightly strained. When you sit down to talk about the day, and his topics are always about some woman he seen in the restaurant where he takes his lunch break or how an old friend, maybe an old "college friend," sent him a birthday card, well you can figure out right here that unless he completely gets successful rehab for his addiction, you and your husband will be spending a lot of mute evenings.
2.) Burden of choosing: the family vacation each year will be tough on you and your beloved husband. You know if you choose a location with a beach where bathing suit-wearing women are lying about getting a tan, this will be a serious temptation for your husband so you opt for a trip to the Rocky Mountains, but even in this locale, there might be a few attractive women and then the worrying about him backsliding from his "strong days" will be on your mind.
1.) STD's: why this is the number one reason that you should not marry an unfaithful man is simple. If your fiance' has been out with a lot of girls, and has engaged in "that" area of intimacy, but without proper protection, there is that reality that he might have a STD. And when you and your secretly-unfaithful husband have intimate moments, you will leave yourself wide open to get the same STD. This is serious, newly-engaged girls.
Thanks for reading this piece.
And good night, Abilene, Texas.
© 2017 Kenneth Avery