- Gender and Relationships
How Infidelity Affects Us
The tragedy of infidelity is how often it happens. It occurs more frequently than most would imagine. Why do people have affairs? There are a number of factors, but often, the cause is difficult to pinpoint. It might be stress from financial troubles, loss of employment, illness, or infidelity on the part of the other mate.
Infidelity on the part of either spouse can destroy a home. Pain and anguish because of it may alter a decision to reconcile a relationship. But it can be realized with appropriate counsel and a willingness to forgive.
Cheaters don't realize how devastating a marital betrayal can be, and our permissive society is largely to blame. Adulterous behavior and fornication are a regular staple of many TV shows and movies. Although it isn't, to the casual viewer this type of behavior is normal. However, the original purpose for matrimony was one man and woman to be joined together for a lifetime.
How to cope with infidelity
Couples seeking how to cope with infidelity can only deal with one day at a time. Open and honest communication is a prerequisite if reconciliation is to take place. Candidly talking through problematic issues without arguments or accusations ia a good start. Couples may need professional counseling.
To start, counselors usually meet with each mate separately to discover areas of conflict. Future meetings most often have both present. No one individual is solely innocent or guilty. Each must be willing to take responsibility for their part leading to the situation. It's important not to play “the blame game” and avoid accusations that can lead to further anger and hurt.
Is it possible to heal wounds after unfaithfulness?
If your mate has had an adulterous affair, the deceit may have destroyed any trust formerly present. The thought of trusting them again may seem impossible.
Is it possible to heal wounds after unfaithfulness? Yes. However, while it’s normal to want to know everything about an affair, these questions should be considered with care. Once the who, when, and where questions are out of the way, don’t look any deeper unless it will help the healing process. Dwelling on the affair will only cause further harm.
It's vital to learn successful coping strategies. Life’s daily needs continue whether or not a crisis exists. Children must still be cared for, as well as keeping up with your job. Learn from the grief, don’t try to suppress it. If all else fails, look at what the Bible says about divorce.
God, laid out His plan for marriage as a lifelong union. When we stray from His plan, we have seen damaging results on many levels. Unfortunately, the divorce rate in the church is comparable to the rest of society.
Divorce destroys of the foundation of all societies, the family. Sometimes, it may seem necessary, or even unavoidable. For example, some states have what's called “no fault” divorce. If one files for divorce the other can't stop it.
It becomes obvious those considering divorce should seek counseling, because most divorces are neither necessary or unavoidable. Divorce isn't required in most cases.
If your significant other has committed adultery, divorce is allowed, but not required. Many have been able to rebuild their relationships even in those concerning adultery.
Another option is to consider separation first. This will allow both partners more time to think about their state of affairs and not rashly rush into hasty decisions.