Love | Marriage | Live Together
Why should some one marry?
Marriage is a social union or legal contract between individuals that creates kinship. It is an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged by a variety of ways, depending on the culture or demographic. Such a union may also be called matrimony , while the ceremony that marks its beginning is usually called a wedding and the marital structure created is known as wedlock .
People marry for many reasons, most often including one or more of the following: legal, social, emotional, economical, spiritual, and religious. These might include arranged marriages, family obligations, the legal establishment of a nuclear family unit, the legal protection of children and public declaration of love.
Well, that is the definition of marriage. Now question is which one of the above causes is forcing me to marry? I am a man or a woman and in love with the opposite sex. ( Or may be same sex in some of the countries where that is legal or accepted in society.)
What is love?
Love is any of a number of emotions related to a sense of strong affection and attachment.
Love is of different kinds.
It may be from generic pleasure. It may be interpersonal attraction. Again interpersonal attraction may be from affection or from subconscious sexual attraction. This one is to be considered if we talk about marriage.
Now let us ask a simple question, why should we marry? Well it gives us the license to live together, make sexual relation legally and give birth to our children.
Are those all for a human being? Human being are called social animal. We have some responsibility towards the society. Some roles have been made and followed for years for the wellbeing of the society. Nobody should try to break it unless you are a social reformer and have sufficient understanding about what you are going to do and what is the result if it.
What else can be done?
If you don’t marry your fiancé what else can be done?
Option 1: You can marry someone else as per the family’s choice ( Arranged marriage, mostly found in Asian countries).
Option 2: You can marry someone else who can help you in promoting your finance or getting a better social position.
Option 3: You can live together with your fiancé without marrying.
Option 4: You may decide to be a permanent bachelor.
Let us analyze the options in detail.
Option 1 & Option 2:
You have compromised your love for the interest of the family or you didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the elders of your family. But will you yourself will be happy or will be able to make your spouse happy in life? Most probably not.
Option 3: OK, you are not loosing anything presently (If you think in that way). But if you have children in future, will they get the same social respect like their friends whose parents were married traditionally? (I can bet their life will be miserable if they live in Asian countries!)
Option 4: if your decision is from the religious thought then it’s ok. But I think if you had decided to be a permanent bachelor from the religious angle, probably you would have maintained a distance with the opposite sex. If you have decided the same for the interest of the family or someone else, I think it’s not fare. Some day when you will be older, you may suffer from frustration which may lead to some unwanted situation.
In conclusion I like to say that when we are young it won’t make much of a difference whether we are married or single. But as we get older we need a partner, not only a bed partner, but a true friend, with whom we can share our day to day feelings, help each other and wait for the last day (Which is inevitable!)!