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Friendship after torn love?

Updated on November 9, 2012
Can the passionate rosy peddles in the heart revamp themselves from steamy passionate night to a peaceful surrender?
Can the passionate rosy peddles in the heart revamp themselves from steamy passionate night to a peaceful surrender?

Are you overeacting by not wanting to be friends in the very end?

By:Anastasia Vaughan

There are two distant lovers in a room gazing at one another. The two people eventually take that one glance, feeling, vibe or instinct to the next level as they work towards a blossoming relationship. Perhaps the star gazing couple’s situation is complicated or perhaps their love story is simple and to the point. Regardless of the reason why an actual union or potential one did not workout their vision of two spirits becoming one comes to a screeching halt as it ended in utter failure.

After having invested time and energy in attempting to get to know another person in a way in which most friendships will never be able scratch the surface. It isn’t hard to see why women wouldn’t want all of their efforts to go to waste. Women naturally want to have friends that they feel they are able to have close strong bonds with and former boyfriend or lover is the perfect candidate for a close “no one knows me better than you” friendship. But why do men and women feel so differently on the same topic?

According to most the reason they don’t want the friendship after the relationship is because it opens up old wombs from failure of the past relationship. Studies have even shown that when a man is unprepared for a break-up he takes it twice as hard psychologically then his female counter-part. Though the cynic in most women want to believe that this little tidbit of information isn’t true studies have proven their accuracy by testing the brain activity within the two sexes before disclosing their conclusion.

What men need to understand is that nothing in this world can replace the power of a strong bond. When a woman enters a relationship of any sorts, she often seeks not only the companionship of a man but the stability of gaining a greater understanding of the opposite sex in general. For me personally at the end of the day I’d like to think that I’m deeply interested in you it is not only because your style is somewhat representative of the traits in which I most admire in a man and can not necessarily act out because it infringes the strong gender roles that society creates for the way women should be. Personally for me attraction begins the first time you do something highly identifiable in my eyes promptly followed by the moment when I feel physically attracted to you. If men are stereotypically seen as being from Mars and women from Venus it shouldn’t be hard to see the benefits in sucking up all the levels of attraction on both parts as a man attempts to delete the ladder theory from their internal cycle while women toss bare emotions aside to create life long bonds that build bridges of understanding.

There is online an article that discusses the needs that a woman fulfills for a man in an intimate relationship. Anyway despite the fact that men seem to make friends easier than women it does not change that fact that their friendships hold less substance than those of their female counter-parts when amongst friends. Men need relationships in order to have a special place that they can be vulnerable to let their guard down. If men could see past their sexual desires they’d be able to unlock not only greater understanding of women as women would be able to achieve the same sense of comfortable awareness in how to make smoother interaction everywhere from the workplace, to friendship, to the intimate relationship.

When it comes to love a fact that both sexes should be more willing to admit should be that both genders are often clueless to some degree. Psychology has proven that from the time we are small children we are often segregated boys with boys and girls with girls. While girl children are more likely to stay near the adult as they are socialized feel that due to the fact that a woman is considered more delicate than a man that she is to always be reserved. Men are taught that they need to stick together to be dominate yet in reality there will always be times when they not only need to understand gender differences but relate to them and friendship is the perfect gateway. Why not work friendship and gender understanding out with a person who has already learned a lot on much of your inner self?

Though this does not apply to all break-ups one must remember if one way does not work it never hurts to try something new.


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